Rays in The Storm (The One That Got Away)
by Rosie.Just Rosie
Summary: Andrea Westbrook isn't your typical Greaser girl; she has a nice family, actually cares about school, and she won't spent her time sleeping around. But what happens when her life isn't so perfect anymore? What happens when everything she's ever loved is ripped away from her? Will she be able to manage and put the pieces back together? With help she has a chance.
1. When The Rain Falls

**A/N: Hey Guys! If you can't tell by now...We LOVE the Outsiders! However...we do not love that we got no reviews and our viewers were almost none on the last story...it is incredibly disheartening. Anyway...I hope you enjoy this! Let me know what you think!**

Everyone thought my life was perfect. Even I did. I had the perfect grades, the beautiful face, and a perfect family. We were wrong.

Everything started out fine. Even though I lived on the 'greaser' side of town, I still had a nice life. We didn't have everything, but we had enough to make us happy. We had clothes, food, a house to call our own. What else could you wish for? It was perfect. Too perfect to last. Nothing that great ever does. In reality, nothing has ever been that perfect, you just never realized it. I learned that the hard way...

The morning bell had just rung and we were all still in the hallways. Me, Aubrey, and Michelle were all gathered around my locker, talking about nothing truly important. Just like we did every morning. The same old routine. It began to get boring and I was tired of all the gossip we shared. I wasn't like other girls on my side of the town. I didn't like gossip. Didn't care to wear too much make-up. And I sure made sure that my clothes covered everything they should. I guess I didn't really fit in here. My home life was good for the most part. My parents were good to me. They always were telling me how much they loved me, but recently the frequency seemed to be changing. They didn't tell me that quite as often anymore. Maybe it had to do with my older brother, Rodney. He was getting to be a real jerk nowadays. I personally thought it was because he started hanging out with that Shepard kid. Tim Shepard and his gang. I've never really like them much, they did too many bad things and didn't feel any remorse. It bothered me.

The girls and I finally parted and went our separate ways towards our classes. I, unlike a lot of greaser girls, actually cared about school. It was the only thing that was gonna get me outta this place. Don't get me wrong. I love my family and school and my friends aren't bad, but I need more than that. I need new experiences, adventure.

The school day passed quickly as I tried to stay unnoticed. The people around here didn't love me. The Soc's hated all greasers so there goes about half of the school population, while the rest of the greasers were either trying to get me to hook up with them or didn't understand why I was working so hard at school when I could forget it and just party through life. I tried to stay out of their way as much as possible. I wasn't exactly one to keep my mouth shut when it comes to what I think of people. It was one of my flaws.

I walked home to find myself alone again. It was always like this now. Mom and Dad were always out working, and who knows where Rodney was. He used to be so sweet, so loving. Now he was hard as ice and didn't care who he hurt. That hurt me the most. The fact that he didn't care. He didn't care about me. He didn't care about our parents. He didn't care about anyone but himself. I used to look up to him. He used to be my hero, the one I only wished I could be like. He was only one year older than I was, but he barely knew I existed anymore. He used to be my rock, the thing holding me together. I could tell him anything, and if anything happened to me or if anyone tried to hurt me, they wouldn't live to see another day. We used to be real close. But then, he changed. Tim got to him. My brother was big, and Tim thought that he could be useful. He was a little over six feet tall and about two-hundred pounds. He played almost any sport you can think of, though he never found interest in being on the teams at school. Too much discrimination. He's always hated the division between Socs and Greasers, and I suppose he figured joining Tim could be a way to stop it all. Tim convinced him that they could make a difference. I knew better than that though. Nothing would ever change the Socs minds about us. We would always be white trash who didn't have a right to even be living. I hated it too. But I knew better than to believe in the possibility in changing it. I wouldn't change myself for it, thats for sure.

I missed the old Rodney. The one who I knew cared. Every once and a while I got a glimpse of him when he looked at me. I couldn't look at him anymore and when I did, the disappointment spread obviously over my face. I knew that he cared about what I thought, he always did. And I liked to think that he regretted joining Tim wen he looked at the sadness in my eyes. The longing for him back. But I knew that was just wishful thinking. Once you're with Tim, there ain't no way out. No back door to sneak out of, and no loop holes. I doubt he would ever want to leave anyway. He'd been brainwashed. He spoke of Tim as if he was God himself. High and Mighty Time Shepard. I couldn't believe how blind he was to believe that. Whenever I would ask why he didn't just leave that good-for-nothing scum bag, Rodney would get real defensive over Tim and say that once you're in a gang, the gang are your family, and you defend family and you never leave them. I never understood what made him want to hang around Tim in the first place. I'd just as soon throw myself off the highest building I could find. But I just can't tell Rodney that. It wouldn't go throw to him. So I just stopped trying.

I knew that my parents were disappointed in him too. It put them on edge that they couldn't stop him. They argued about it now a lot. But they always put on a happy face when I walked in, pretending nothing wrong was happening. I know better. My house wasn't as happy as it used to be. I used to think that I could live here forever and never go a day without a smile on my face. Ha! I'd almost forgotten what a smile was now. No one showed me a real one anymore, and my face refused to put one on. I hated fake smile. Hated fake people.

My friends were slipping away from me. Said they didn't want to be so close with a gloomy girl. I didn't blame them really. I wouldn't want to be around me either, but I just couldn't bring myself to smile or be happy again. Not truly happy at least.

I walked to my bedroom, threw my bag on my bed and began to start doing my homework. Then the front door burst open with a slam. _This can't be good_**_. _**I thought. "I can't believe you would do that Rodney!" I heard my mother yell from down the hall. "We were just having a little fun!" I heard my brother's uncaring voice travel through the house. _Wonder what he did this time?_ I stopped doing my homework and just listened. I caught bits and pieces of what he did. Of course, Tim had something to do with it, and they got caught and thrown straight into jail. My mother had to go bail him out and here we are now, arguing over something that will never change. Rodney will never change.

Their bickering went on for a while and I didn't see that it would end soon. I couldn't take it anymore.

I threw my things back into my bag and laced my shoes back on. Catching a glimpse of my brothers tall, strong figure towering over my mother's short, slim one, I walked out the door and into the sunshine.

I wasn't entirely sure where I was going, but I knew I had to get away. The air outside was nice and crisp, a pleasant change from the suffocating air in my house. I walked all the way to the park and sat myself against a tree. Homework wasn't going to get done, I couldn't even focus. I leaned my head back against the tree and shut my eyes. Trying to soak up the sun and get it to fill my life with light. I really did try to be happy, but it seemed impossible when angry words and empty threats fill your life. I spent most of my time sitting out here leaning against this very tree nowadays. It was my only refuge. The place where I felt closest to happiness. Felt free from the pressures of my life.

My parents arguments were starting to get worse. And they weren't just about Rodney, they just used it as a cover. I'd even seen a few bruises on my mother's arms before. It made me mad, but it didn't happen often, and I knew I couldn't do anything about it.

I tried not to think about that though. This was my happy place. I eventually felt myself falling asleep and I didn't fight it. It wasn't like I got a lot at home.

I awoke to someone kicking my foot lightly. "Hey. You okay?" a tender voice asked. Opening my eyes slightly I turned my head to see who it was. I was immediately blinded by the setting sun. I shielded my eyes as I tried to get a better look at the figure in front of me. "Yeah. I'm fine." I replied, a little confused as to why he asked. He thrust his hand out before me, offering to help me up. I took it hesitantly and he pulled me up. I finally got a good look at him. He was breathtakingly attractive. He had soft brown eyes and honey colored hair with just a hint of brown. Sweat and grease stained his face and you could see the tired in his eyes. Looking over his gray-blue and orange shirt I found his name. _Sodapop._ That seemed interesting, but I thought it might just be a nickname. No way it was his real name.

"Why are you out here anyway? I was walking home from work at the DX when I saw you here. I thought you might be drunk or something. Maybe worse. Don't you know better than to be out here alone. You could get jumped in a heartbeat?" He asked. You could hear the slight concern in his voice. It was nice to hear that instead of harshness in a voice. I couldn't help but smile at it. But then it vanished as the reason I came out here came smashing back. "I had to get out of my house. Couldn't take it anymore." I said. He just nodded and gestured to my bag. "You runnin'?" He asked. I gave a half-hearted laugh. "Naw. This is just my school bag. Plus, I ain't got anywhere to go even if I did run." I told him. I don't think I could ever bring myself to run away. Sure, things were bad at home, but other people had it worse.

Everything was quiet for a minute or two. "I'm Andrea, by the way. Andrea -." I introduced myself, breaking the silence. He seemed a bit startled by my sudden outburst, but recovered quickly. He shook out his hand again for me to shake. "Sodapop Curtis. But you can call me Soda. And yes, that is my real name. It's on my birth certificate and everything." He said as I took his hand. I couldn't help but laugh a little at his name. He cracked a grin too. There was just something about this kid that made me forget everything. His joy was contagious.

Thunder cracked in the background and it caused us both to jump. We laughed at each other. "C'mon." He said as he began to lead me away. I wondered where he was taking me, but decided not to worry about it. I trusted this Sodapop Curtis. I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He would've done it already, like any other boy around here. But he was different. I liked that about him.

We walked in silence for a short distance before we reached a small house with a chain fence around it. I figured this is where he lived so I followed him to the door. "Why did you take me to your house?" I wondered out loud, confusion written across my face. It seemed strange that he wouldn't just take me home. He shrugged. "I thought you said you were trying to get away from your house." He said. "I can take you home if you want." I smiled at the handsome boy in front of me. "No! No. It's fine." I said, a bit too excited to stay here. I hadn't even remembered about my home. I spent so much time and energy each day just trying to forget and now he shows up and it all vanishes. I wondered silently how he did it. "I'm home. Anybody here?" He yelled as he walked in the door, with me trailing behind him. "Soda?" A boy's voice answered as footsteps made their way downstairs. "Yeah Ponyboy. It's me." Soda told him as he walked over to the fridge, looking for something to eat. Ponyboy. Did anyone have a real name around here. I saw Ponyboy look at me for the first time when I laughed quietly at the thought. He stopped in his tracks. "Hi." He said and drew his attention to Soda, who's head was buried in the fridge. "Soda, who is this?" He asked. Soda pulled himself out of the fridge with a large piece of chocolate cake and went to sit at the couch in the living room. "Oh, sorry. This is Andrea -. She was in the park all alone and wanted to get away from her house so I brought her here." He explained simply. Pony only nodded before taking a seat next to his brother on the couch. I just continued to stand there awkwardly. Soda looked up at me from his place on the couch. "You know you can sit down right?" He said jokingly. I laughed and took a seat in an armchair near the couch.

We sat there watching TV for a while in comfortable silence when the door was burst open. It made me jump more than it should have. I thought for sure it was someone from my family coming to get me and drag me back. I got some worried glances from Soda and Ponyboy, who didn't at all seemed phased by the big bang. Before I could react to them, three burly boys barged into the once quiet living room. They were talking about something unimportant, but they stopped when they saw me. "Man, who's the hot chick?" One of them said. He was around six-feet tall and had rusty colored hair and long sideburns. He had gray-ish eyes that went well with his mischievous grin. I was taken back a bit by the 'hot' remark. People rarely told me I was pretty, let alone hot. No guys even looked at me in school. I felt all of their eyes on me as I looked anywhere else. I didn't do very good with attention, I'd been trying to avoid it all my life, especially recently. Soda explained again who I was and they all nodded and went back to what they were doing.

They eventually all piled into the living room and sat on the floor and in the remaining spots on the couch. I tried to avoid all contact with them, but it didn't seem to work. "So, Andrea. I ain't seen you around before. You new here?" The one with the wisecracker grin asked. He seemed awfully interested in me. I shook my head. "No. I've lived here my entire life. I like to fly under the radar." I replied. He nodded. "Well ain't that a shame. I'm Two-Bit, in case you were wondering. Two-Bit Mathews." He said. I had to roll my eyes at this. "What?" He asked, sounding nearly offended. I gave a slight chuckle. "Do any of you have actual real names?" I asked in disbelief. They all laughed. "Sure we do. I'm Dally. Him over there, That's Steve. And Two-Bit over here, his real name is Keith, but he can't seem to go a whole minute without opening that big ol' trap a' his, so we call him Two-Bit." The boy nearest to me said, a wide smirk setting on his face. Two-Bit came over and attacked him and they wrestled for a while. I just laughed at them.

After a few minutes Ponyboy looked around. "Hey guys. Where's Johnny?" He asked. "Probably at home...getting the tar...beat..outta him." Dally said between breaths as him and Two-Bit continued to struggle with each other, no one having much of an advantage over the other.

Dally was taller than Two-Bit, but not by much. Maybe and inch or two. They were built similarly. Broad shoulders and arms covered with muscle. You could see it more on Dally than on Two-Bit. When they weren't wrestling, Two-Bit wasn't all that intimidating looking, but Dally. One look at him could probably send anyone running.

I'd heard about Dally. How could you not? He was _the_ Dallas Winston. The infamous greaser who landed here after escaping from New York City. He was the one greaser who ran this town, no greaser would dare challenge him. Except maybe a few. A few dumb cocky greasers like Tim Shepard. Tim didn't think about things most of the time, it rubbed off on Rodney.

It dawned on me then how lat it was getting. I glanced at the clock. 8:35 it read. My parents were going to kill me. I hurriedly jumped up and grabbed my bag. I started towards the door when I heard Soda's voice call me back. "Where ya going?" He asked, curiously. "Home. I'm so late. My parents are gonna kill me." I responded. He nodded, and looked at me with almost sympathetic eyes. "You know you can come over anytime you need to. We'd be glad to have company that doesn't stink for once." He said. I laughed. I could hear the sincerity in his voice and felt myself smile. "Thanks Soda...for everything. See you later, guys." I shouted as I launched myself into the rain. I ran home as fast as I could. Trying not to get too wet, and trying not to be too late. I knew I was though, but I didn't want to make it worse. I walked to my door slowly and took a deep breath before entering my own living hell. I didn't want to face my reality again, but I knew deep down I couldn't avoid it.

Not much had changed since I'd left for the park. My mother was still fuming, but Rodney was gone and his place was taken by my father who was yelling right back. Something about money. "I just don't understand how you could be so careless, Rachel!" My father screamed. "Me! I'm the careless one?! I didn't do anything to lose that job! And I'm not the one who had to go buy himself new things that don't even matter and that are pointless to have!" My mother replied, in the same biting tone. I let the door slam shut loudly behind me as I began the walk to my room. The rain that had caught onto me was silently dripping off and onto the floor as I walked to my room. The kitchen grew quiet. But only for a moment. The calm before the storm. "And where exactly have you been? We've been worried sick about you Andrea. It's so unlike you!" My mother said from where she stood. Not even bothering to walk over to see if I was alright. She'd changed. Rodney had changed her. My dad had made her cold.

I paused where I was standing. Didn't take another step, and didn't turn around. I heard the now familiar sound of a glass bottle hit the table and the movement of ice as my father poured himself a glass of Scotch and chugged it down in one big gulp. My father was a different man when he was drunk. He scared me. "C'mere." He slurred to me when I didn't respond. I shut my eyes and tried to control my fear. I took a long, deep breath and turned around slowly and proceeded to make my way over to my father. I stopped a few feet in front of him and stared at my feet. The smell of alcohol was overpowering, burning my nose and throat. I'll never understand why people like it.

I looked for his hands. The hands of a drunk man were the hands of a monster. I'd seen the way my mother looked after a bad day when my father got a hold of her.

He had one hand still clutching to the neck of the Scotch bottle and his other was waiting tensely at his side, ready to strike at any moment. My father had never hit me before, and I didn't want to know what it was like. "I believe your mother asked you a question, Andrea. And I suggest that you find your manners and answer her." My father said, dangerously quiet. I looked over at my mother, tears of fright threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry. I fell asleep in the park and I just lost track of time. I didn't mean any harm by it." I spoke quietly, not daring to talk normally for fear of losing it completely. My mother's face softened slightly. Sympathy and worry were plainly written on her face and in her eyes. She had felt this very same fear I was feeling right now. Fear of the monster we lived with.

My father started to twitch towards me when my mother quickly gathered me up in her arms, forcing me away from my father. "That's quite alright, dear. Just try to be a little more careful next time." She said, loud enough for my father to hear. I just nodded into her shoulder, not trusting myself to speak. She rubbed my back soothingly and I could hear and feel the sobs in her trying to be released. We were both fighting the same feeling, the same monster.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please Please PLLEEAASEE let me know what you think. Even if it's bad...no one ever got better by people constantly telling them they were amazing. PLEASE Review. And as always, if you have any suggestions or requests let us know in that box just below ;)**


	2. I've Got Strength Deep Down

**A/N: Hey guys! I realized late after I posted the first chapter that I forgot to put in Andrea and Rodney's last name! Hahaha. I felt kind dumb. So, sorry about that. It is Westbrook, by the way. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own S.E. Hinton's _The__ Outsiders_****or Let It All Out by Relient K.**

_And I'll let it be known, __At times I have shown, __Signs of all my weakness, __But somewhere in me there is strength_

The feeling of fear I had felt the day before never truly subsided. It was always in the back of my mind. The thought of how close I was to being beat. Being abused by my own father. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that someone could do something like that. The memories of last night played through my head continually throughout the day, clouding my view of reality. I wasn't paying any attention to what was happening all day.

My 'friends' seemed to sense this and were irritated by the fact that I wasn't participating in their gossip-fest. So they abandoned me. I walked through the halls alone, with only my shadow for company.

"Fancy meeting you here, Babe." Someone said behind me at lunch, breaking me out of my trance. I had been sitting on the hill right behind the school, alone. The cafeteria wasn't exactly 'greaser friendly.' The Socs had riots and food fights and somehow found a way to pin it on us. No greaser was dumb enough to stay in there. I looked back to see who exactly had snuck up on me. It was Two-Bit. Of course it was.

He plopped down beside me and I just smirked and shook my head. Didn't say a word. I was sitting, clutching my knees to my chest and curled in a ball. Two-Bit was lying down and propped up on his elbows. The noonday sun made his hair and sideburns glow a fiery red.

"You love to make faces at everything I do and say don't 'cha'?" He laughed.

I just nodded. "What is it this time?" He asked with a big sigh.

"You've been trying to hit on me the entire time you've known me, which has only been a day." I answered him with a small chuckle. He pulled out a box of cigarettes and offered me one before taking his own. I just shook my head. I didn't smoke.

"It's what I do best. My specialty." He flashed me a crooked grin that was somehow charming, even with that cigarette popping out of the corner.

"You know you ain't gotta chance with me right?" I told him plainly. I didn't date. Not after what happened.

He sighed again. "I know that. Besides, Soda already called dibs!" He laughed at himself. "Man! He really does have good taste! This time, at least." Then he suddenly got quiet.

I was about to ask what he meant when we were interrupted. "Hey guys!" I jumped. Didn't expect anyone else to join this little party. Before I could look back, Pony plopped down on my other side. My right side.

"I saw you two up here on the hill and I figured I'd come save those few IQ points you have left from being sucked away by this guy." He said, laughing as he pointed to Two-Bit.

"Hey!" Two-Bit pouted as he jolted upright. I couldn't help but laugh at his face. He shot me a glare before returning his focus to Pony.

For once he didn't have a good comeback. "You see. Two-Bit here is eighteen and he is still a Junior! Do the math for us Two-Bit, how many years have you been a Junior?" Pony asked sarcastically.

He asked for it. Two-Bit leaped over me and tackled Pony in a head lock on the ground. "I don't know Pony. Probably about the same number of times as the number of seconds it would take me to knock you out cold." Two-Bit retorted. I laughed again. They always found a way to make that happen. I felt like I fit with these two, and the rest of the gang. They already felt like they were my annoying brothers. The way Rodney used to be. I felt my face fall slightly at the thought.

From Ponyboy's position on the ground he could see my face drop. He flipped over quickly so that escaped Two-Bit's hold on his neck. His eyes filled with concern. "What's wrong?" He asked, quickly. I wasn't ready to talk about this yet. It still tore at my heart that I would never truly get my brother back. He would never be the same. Never.

I shook my head as I fought the tears that were threatening to show. "Nothing, Pony. I'm fine. Really." I knew he wouldn't buy it for a second, but my luck was good today and the bell rang as I finished. I hopped up and nearly ran back into the school before Pony could question me more.

The rest of my school day was spent avoiding Ponyboy and Two-Bit. No doubt that if they saw me they would ask me what happened. I was proved right at the end of the day. They were waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs exiting the school. I knew there was no way to avoid talking to them now. I took a deep breath. I didn't know why I got so worked up about Rodney. I guess I just never expected it to happen to him. It just caught me off-guard. I slowed my pace down and took my time going down the stairs. I watched my feet as I tried to blend into the crowd. Part of me knew it was no use, but the other part of me figured it was worth a shot.

They saw me instantly. "Andrea!" Pony shouted above the crowd. I sighed and made my way over to them. I didn't make eye contact 'till I got there.

I looked straight into Ponyboy's eyes. "Pony. Really, I'm fine. It's okay. Don't worry 'bout me." I told him, knowing that's what he was gonna talk about. He just looked in my eyes, trying to judge if I was telling the truth I guessed. He didn't believe me.

"C'mon. You're coming home with us today. You're gonna tell us what happened one way or another." He said, determined as he began to drag me to the parking lot with Two-Bit, laughing, close behind. We walked up to a jacked-up maroon colored truck, that I figured was Two-Bit's. Ponyboy dragged me to the passenger side and thrust me in first before climbing in. I was squished in between Two-Bit and Pony the entire ride to the Curtis' home and no one said a word. The radio was softly playing a Beatle's song, but you couldn't really hear it.

Once we got there Pony opened the door and stood there after getting out. Probably making sure I didn't hop out and run for it, like I wanted so badly to do. I sighed and reluctantly followed him into the house, dreading what was coming.

Two-Bit was already inside, and like magic, had already found something to argue over with Dally. From what I could hear, Dally didn't wan't to watch Mickey Mouse, but that's all that was ever playing at this house and Dally thought they should watch something different. They fought over silly things. Just like real siblings. My eyes caught a glimpse of Soda, sitting on the couch alone while the other argued in front of him. I saw my chance of possible escape and I took it. I went and sat down next to Soda. He seemed somewhat surprised but he didn't argue. I could almost see a smile spreading on his face. Two-Bit's words from earlier replayed in my mind. _Soda's already called dibs. _Did Soda like me? The last person who liked me, I liked back, and that didn't end well at all. _Soda wouldn't do that to me._ I told myself.

Before I got the chance to get myself to carried away with my past, a new member walked in. He had long, jet black hair that you could tell was greased back, but it kept slipping into his face. He had honest brown eyes that had a certain look in them that made you feel worried and sad and somehow angry at the same time. There was hurt behind this boy, a pain so bad he had to watch his every step. He seemed quiet. Seemed scared.

He looked around the room for a safe spot to sit, and looked as if he was going to automatically come sit where I was. But when he saw me he stopped and stared. I waved slightly and he blushed and waved back, going to sit in the big armchair against another wall.

I leaned over close to Soda. "Who is that?" I asked. He looked over at the boy and sighed, looking back to me.

"That's Johnny Cade. He's fourteen and comes from a real bad home. His old man beats on him constantly and his mother barely knows he exists. He spends a lot of time here with the gang, sleeps here a lot too. The kid is scared of his own shadow." He said and frowned.

I was shocked. It was then that I noticed a small cut on Johnny's face and a bluish discoloration behind it that could only belong to a bruise. I tried not to stare. Tried not to think about the face that I could look like that if my mother wasn't there to protect me.

The tears began to well up in my eyes again. Partly from sympathy for Johnny, and partly for the fear of the memories. "That's awful." I said quietly. Soda and I were both looking at Johnny, who was intently watching the other boys wrestle on the ground.

Soda looked back at my face and concern crossed his eyes for me when he saw a lone tear make it's escape down my face. "Yeah, it is. We all wish there was something we could do, but there isn't." He said, his voice dropping. We sat in silence for a few moments as I tried to pull myself together. I wiped away many stray tears. He didn't say anything.

Eventually, my little cover wore off. Ponyboy marched into the room and stood right in front of me and Soda. I sighed, preparing myself for what was coming. "So. Are you ever going to tell me what was wrong earlier? Or do I have to pry it out of you?" Pony asked, genuinely concerned.

I could see confusion cover Soda's face as he looked at me. I just bent forward and laid my head in my hands and sighed. Neither one said a word. They expected me to cave in eventually. Pony sighed in defeat. "C'mon, Andrea. We're only trying to help you here. We're worried about you. I know we only met yesterday, but you already seem like part of our gang. You're like our little sister!" He said and bent down and gave me a nuggie, forcing my head out of my hands. Soda began to tickle my sides, and I couldn't keep the laughter in. I squealed for them to stop but they just kept on going.

After what seemed like forever, they finally quit. I tried to catch my breath. They were still laughing at me a little. "So know are you gonna tell us whats going on? Or do we have to tickle it out of you?" He asked, faking a threat.

I gasped, playfully. "You wouldn't dare!" I said, trying to sound horrified. An evil grin grew on Pony's face and he wiggled his fingers. "Try us." Soda whispered evilly in my ear.

Before I could protest, Soda jammed his fingers into my side and started tickling me. I fell over sideways from jumping and landed in his lap. He continued tickling my stomach and sides while I tried to swat him away, unsuccessfully.

I was kicking and flailing and yelling at him to stop when Ponyboy grabbed my feet and forced them flat on the couch and sat on them, trying to stop their movement. He started tickling my feet, the place where I am the most ticklish. I was screaming for them to stop, but they just continued and laughed at me.

Eventually I felt another pair of hands join in. I knew instantly it was Two-Bit. It wouldn't be anyone else. I didn't really know Johnny or Steve or Dally very well. Really, I didn't know the three tickling me very well either, but I knew them enough to trust them and to play with them.

Soon, I couldn't take it anymore. "Okay! Okay!...I'll tell...you! Just...please stop...tickling...me!" I shouted between gasps. They didn't stop instantly, but they did stop soon after.

Pony climbed off my legs and I finally relaxed my head on Soda's lap. They were all looking at me expectantly. I caught my breath and sighed. My eyes clamped shut and I absentmindedly rubbed my face with my hand, a nervous habit of mine. "It's mainly my brother. Rodney. He's changed, _a lot. _Personally I think it is because of that punk kid Tim Shepard who he's been hanging around. Kid's nothing but trouble. I don't know. It really shouldn't bother me as much as it does. It was just so unexpected I guess. When he changed. I just forgot what it was felt like to have brothers again. And you guys just kinda reminded me of that." I shrugged like it was no big deal and opened my eyes.

They were all staring at me. Dally was the first to speak. "Rodney Westbrook is your big brother?! Tim Shepard's right hand man! Wow! Didn't expect that!" He said.

I couldn't tell if he was disgusted or not. "Is that a bad thing?" I asked innocently.

"Well, Tim and our gang aren't exactly on the best terms. And now we basically got his right hand man's little sister on our side and he's still on theirs. Gangs really are your family. You being with us is basically signing your brother away." He scoffed. My face fell. I hadn't put those pieces together. I'd heard Rodney tell me that a gang was your family before, but now I realized just how serious that was.

I scooted myself up with my hands to where I was sitting up with my back against the armrest and my legs draped over Soda's lap. I rubbed my face again. I didn't say anything, didn't even shed a tear. I just stared at the wall, trying to think things through. No one else said anything. They just let it all sink in.

I broke the silence. "Well, I ain't leaving you guys." Five shocked faces were staring at me know.

Soda was the first to recover. "Andrea. You gotta think this through. I'm not gonna let you leave your brother for us. I mean really. We only met yesterday. You've known your brother forever. You can't just abandon him like that." He said, serious now.

I gave a sharp, cold laugh. "He already hopped on that boat a long time ago. He's gone, Soda. He don't give a hoot about what happens to me. He abandoned me when he joined Tim's gang. He's not my brother anymore. He's a minion in my brother's body. Heck! You guys are more of brothers to me than he ever will be. My brother is gone, and I've accepted it. I planning on giving this up anytime soon, and theres no way you're gonna make me leave y'all alone." I said angrily. I'd be surprised if Rodney even knew I haven't been at home the past couple days. He didn't care about me anymore.

It was the first time that I'd admitted that. Even to myself. I'd been telling myself that it was just a phase and that he'd come back, but I couldn't deny the truth. I hadn't realized I was crying until I finished.

"Andrea, we didn't mean to make you upset. We're sorry." Soda said, trying to calm me down.

I couldn't help but smile at him. He just had that affect. "I know, Soda. It's alright. Really. Somedays are just harder than others. But, I'm a tough girl. I'll get through this. I always do." He smiled back at me.

Butterflies rose in my stomach. I had a mental battle with myself as I automatically told myself it was dangerous, but knew at the same time that Soda was different. That he wouldn't do what my last boyfriend did.

I hastily brushed away my tears, and the pain with it. I was done crying over Rodney. Done crying over boys. Just done crying over my past. I was looking forward to my hopefully bright future with these boys in front of me.

**A/N: Any guesses on what happened with her past boyfriend? If you have any guesses, let me know. Please Review! Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Pushing Away

**A/N: Hey Guys! Sadly to say, but my Spring Break has come to an end :'( But that means that I will probably not be updating as frequently as I have the past few days, but maybe I'll find the time. I'm really loving this story, and I have great plans for it so please stick with me and REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders, Stomach Tied in Knots (Sleeping With Sirens), or When My Blue Moon Turns Gold (Elvis Presley).**

_See the problem isn't you, it's me I know, I can tell, I've seen it time after time, And I'll push you away, I get so afraid, oh, no_

At school, all of my so called friends left me alone. They didn't like the fact that I'd been acting different for the past few months since Soda found me alone. I was different because I finally found a group of people who made me realize there is still a point to living. They didn't understand that.

I wasn't completely alone, though. I mostly hung around with Two-Bit and Ponyboy. Me and Two-Bit were in the same grade, and Pony was two years below us. Even with that, Pony was still in some of my classes. Kid sure was smart. Good thing too, or else I'd fail my classes.

Soda came to visit us at lunch every day he could. He and I always ended up ditching Two-Bit and Pony and taking a walk, just the two of us. It was a good feeling. Feeling like someone actually cared about me. I hadn't felt something quite like this before.

We entered our spot and sat down on the only bench that could bear our combined weight. We looked around silently for a few minutes, each waiting for the other to say something. My turn to start.

"So why aren't you in school, Soda? You're only a year older than I am." I asked as we took a seat at our spot in the woods. We found a path one day and followed it and ended up here. It was a quiet place, with worn down benches and green and brown all around. It was beautiful.

"'Cuz I'm dumb. Never got school. I tried though, I really did." He answered. I could sense that that wasn't the whole reason, but I figured it might be part of the truth.

"You're not dumb, Sodapop Curtis! Don't say that." I exclaimed. He wasn't dumb. Even though he wasn't as smart as Ponyboy, he sure wasn't dumb. I knew that much.

He nodded. "Yeah, I am, Andrea. But it don't bother me. I got a good job that I love and it helps keep us afloat." He said, not looking at me until the end.

There was the other reason. He felt like a burden on Darry and felt the need to help him out. I knew that Darry loved them and didn't consider Soda and Pony a burden. I could tell that much from the time I spent there, you could see it in Darry's eyes. He loved them more than anything. You didn't have to be smart to see that.

Soda and I had gotten really close ever since that day he found me in the park. Even still, I didn't dare ask him about his parents. You could see in his eyes that it hurt to even think about it.

We sat there in comfortable silence for a few moments before he spoke up. "Andrea." Soda said softly. Almost hesitantly. The butterflies in my stomach flew, begging to be accepted. I pushed them away. _Not again._ I thought.

He looked like he was struggling to ask me something. He looked almost strangled for words. I looked at his eyes and tried not to melt. My face pleaded for him to go on. He shouldn't be scared to ask me anything.

"What are you trying to escape at home?" He asked quickly, but didn't break his stare this time. He was studying my face for changes of emotion. He had learned to read my face, and I his.

I looked away. "Soda. It's nothing. Not that bad. It's just my brother. I'm okay, really." I lied as a stray tear fled from my eyes, betraying my willpower not to cry. The fights had gotten worse.

My mother's spirit was fading fast, and her body was changing. Changing like a work of art that a clueless 'artist' wanted to change by adding new colors and shades of blue and black. My mother was a broken woman now. I knew that if I didn't have Soda-No. If I didn't have the gang, I wouldn't be far behind her.

Soda carefully placed a hand on my arm, wordlessly willing me to look at him. His hand was soft, gentle. I looked at him as I tried to choke back tears. Worry. Thats what plainly displayed in his eyes. It seemed to be the only emotion I could pull out of him. He was always worrying about me. He didn't need to worry about me so much. I was fine.

He read my eyes for a moment. "I know you're not okay, Andie." He'd been calling me that a lot lately. Usually, I hated nicknames; but this time, I didn't really mind. In fact, I kinda liked it. I think Andie fit me a little better than Andrea at times.

I just nodded my head in defeat, knowing that I couldn't argue with him. A few tears fell freely. I angrily wiped them away. I told myself I was done crying about it and I meant it!

All my resolve diminished as Soda gathered me in his arms. He just held me for a while and told me everything was going to be okay and that he was there for me. I knew he believed things would get better, but I knew the worst was still to come.

I wasn't sure how long we sat like that, and I almost didn't want to leave. Red warning signs flashed in my mind. _This is dangerous. Don't be so naive. _No! He's different. It was a never-ending war with myself.

I finally pulled away, angry with myself for crying. Soda didn't let me get to far away from him. He kept his arms around me, keeping me from leaving his embrace. Not that he needed to do that once he got me to look in his eyes. They paralyzed me with their beauty and depth.

I've heard it said that the eyes are the doorway to the soul. I don't know if I believe that's true, but if it is, Soda has the most inviting and captivating soul ever. He had the power to melt the toughest hearts, and to make girls forget about a dangerous past that lead to present warnings.

We stared in each others eyes for what seemed like a lifetime before either of us moved. Soda's eyes began to close as he leaned in. I found myself doing the same, and I wanted to, until my brain woke up and thoughts of what had spoiled my view of love flashed through my head. I stopped and shot up, out of Soda's grasp.

He seemed startled, as did I. I quickly walked over to the edge of the tree circle and squatted down, resting my head in my hands. Breathing heavy. _What did I just do! I'm going to get hurt again! I can't trust him! I can't trust anyone anymore! I can't even trust myself! _I thought frantically.

I heard Soda get up slowly behind me. I'd forgotten about him in my sudden outburst. I stood up and went to face him. He looked embarrassed. "Hey, Andrea. I'm...I'm sorry...about that. I didn't mean to. I don't know what came over me." He was cute when he was flustered.

I swiftly shushed him. "Soda. Please. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. I swear it was all me. It's just...well...I had a really bad experience with the last boy I got close too. I got hurt. I'm just scared. I'm sorry, Soda." I said. Ending in not much more than a whisper.

A flood of painful memories crashed through my head as I thought about my last boyfriend.

Soda nodded. He was good at understanding things. He walked over to me and folded me into a his safe arms. "Andrea. I swear, I will never, ever hurt you. You know that right." He said gingerly. I didn't hesitate. I nodded into his now wet shirt.

Soda couldn't hurt me. Or at least I didn't think he could. Everything he did seemed to remind me that I was gonna be okay. But even still, old habits die hard.

I'd never let anybody, much less a boy, so much as catch a glimpse of the real me or my mind ever since I left. Ever since the one I thought would always be there for me, hurt me the most. I told myself I'd never let my guard down again, and now I wanted nothing more than to break the single biggest rule I'd ever had, the one that had ruled my life for so long.

I hugged Soda back. It was easier with Soda. Easier than it ever was with _him_. I smiled at the thought that maybe. Just maybe, this could be something.

The fear crept back into my mind like it always did. It was like a shadow. It waited for my sun to start rising, and the second the light hit me, the shadow never left. Not once. Shadows are bigger than us. If you stand in just the right spot, they stretch to show how strong they really can be.

Shadows are cold and relentless. They grow bigger than you right when your sun is straight above you, when it shines the brightest and it swallows you hole. It tears down your sun and once again, it's night. And night is full of shadows.

He began to rub my back soothingly. I could sense that he was scared too.

Our perfect moment was crashed by the school bell. It always seemed to be yelling at us to move faster. Reluctantly, I let go of the boy who could save me. I didn't want to leave him, but my parent's would know if I skipped the rest of the day.

"I gotta go." I whispered, sadly. He nodded and I walked away from the boy I cared about more than I should. I didn't dare look back, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself from running back to him.

I didn't bother trying to catch up with Two-Bit and Ponyboy. They'd ask too many questions.

I couldn't stop thinking about Soda the rest of the day. Then, my thoughts would lead me straight to _him_. I couldn't take this anymore. I didn't want to be ruled by his memory anymore. He ruled my life once. No more. Never again.

Ponyboy and Two-Bit were waiting for me outside like always. "Hey guys!" I said, happy to finally be with people who cared. The last few classes of the day were the longest. They seemed to drag on and on.

Two-Bit threw his arm around my shoulder. "Hey babe!" I couldn't help but laugh. He just wouldn't give up, would he?

"One of these days it'll work. I promise you. You're gonna fall for it." He said with his signature crooked smirk.

"Yeah. I'd like to see that. That'll be the day. Man, with competition like Soda, you ain't got a chance. Ain't that right Andrea?" Ponyboy said. They were always teasing me about Soda. They could tell something was going on between us.

I wriggled out of Two-Bit's arm and punched Ponyboy in the shoulder. I wasn't strong enough to really cause pain, but he did stumble sideways a few steps, laughing. Before I could do the same to Two-Bit, he wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head next to mine, on my shoulder.

"C'mon, _Andie,_ you know it's true." He laughed, emphasizing my nickname only Soda called me.

I blushed, knowing arguing would be pointless. They could see right through me. They had become my best friends, aside from Sodapop, of course. "Shut up, guys!" It was the best things I could do as I pushed against Two-Bit's face to try to pry him off me.

We were all laughing, them more than me, as I blushed. I hated that I couldn't hide this. They just never let it go.

We drove home still laughing and talking. We walked in to find no one else but Soda home. He was in the kitchen starting to cook dinner. His back was to us. Two-Bit gave me a shove in Soda's direction. I turned back and glared at him and he just smirked knowingly at me. He could tell that I wanted nothing more than to be with Soda.

He gave me a 'shoo' gesture with his hand. "Hey, Sodapop!" He exclaimed, a little too excited.

Him and Ponyboy rushed into the living room and turned on the t.v. to Mickey Mouse and 'zoned out.' I knew they'd be listening to me and Soda. _Stupid eavesdroppers._ I thought.

I walked over to where Soda was mixing something intently at a big bowl on the stove. I bent over and placed my forearms on the counter and crossed my ankles. I was bent at nearly a 90 degree angle and gazed up at Soda over my shoulder.

"What'cha cooking?" I asked. His face softened a little when he looked at me. "Meatloaf." He smiled at me and went back to mixing the meat and whatever else was in the bowl with it.

"Anything I can help with?" I asked. He looked around, trying to find something. "Uhh...yeah. you can start on the sauce. The recipe is somewhere over there." He said as he pointed to a small stack of papers.

I nodded and sifted through the stack until I found what I assumed was the right recipe. He confirmed it was.

I got everything out and moved over so that I was standing right next to him, making the sauce.

Spotting the stereo in the corner of the counter, I walked over and turned it on. It was playing a song from The Beatles. I smiled contently and walked back to the sauce.

"Tired of listening to Mickey Mouse?" Soda asked, pooping a grin my way.

I shook my head in mock disgust. "More than you know." We both laughed.

The song changed to an Elvis Presley and I started to sing along. "When my blue moon turns to gold again, when my rainbow turns the clouds away..." I was singing softly.

Soda joined me. "When my blue moon turns to gold again, You'll be back within my arms to stay..." I turned to him and smiled. He all of a sudden grabbed me into a hug.

"You wanna get outta here?" He asked me quietly. I nodded enthusiastically.

He finished putting together the meatloaf and put it in the oven. He led me over to the door and we were gone.

**A/N: I really hope you guys are liking this! If you are let me know PLEASE, and if you aren't PLEASe let me know and if you would be so kind as to tell me what it is that you don't like. I like critisism. So I cannot stress how much I want you to REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Thanks Guys! See ya Soon! ;)**


	4. No Use Fighting It

**A/N: Hey everybody! I just want to thank you guys for sticking with me through this and reviewing...it means a lot! I hope you're enjoying this and I hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stereo Hearts or The Outsiders.**

_I take your head and hold it closer to mine, __Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind_

It was a beautiful day outside. The air wasn't too hot and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. "Is it safe to leave them home alone like that with something in the oven? Do you think it'll still be edible?" I joked.

He laughed. "I guess we'll just have to see won't we?" He flashed me his movie-star grin and I couldn't help but smile back.

We walked what seemed like aimlessly for a long time. "What are we going to do?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I was planning on figuring out as we go. How does that sound?" I smiled. Typical Soda. Never has a plan, just goes where the wind takes him. I just laughed and nodded my head.

"Sounds good to me." We continued to just walk for a really long time, just talking about nothing really important. We finally wandered to a hillside facing the sun. Lazily, we laid down, staring at the sky.

I was really starting to develop feelings for Soda, and that scared me. It was exciting at the same time, but I don't know which emotion was winning.

We tried to find figures in the clouds as the day got older. We were lying close together, almost touching. But not quite. We were joking and laughing and it all felt natural. Then, the excitement won me over. Slowly, I reached over and eased my hand into Soda's and held it tight. He stopped what he was doing and turned to stare at me. His face was plastered with immense joy and yet somewhere in there, I spotted fear.

"You sure, Andie? I don't want to rush things if you aren't comfortable?" He said, quickly, ruining the moment. Stupid boy! I gave a slight chuckle, a little unsure if I was ready for this yet. But I knew I trusted Soda, and as long as he was there, I knew everything would be alright.

"I'm positive, Soda. I trust you. I know you won't hurt me. We just gotta take it slow. Trust me, if I don't feel comfortable, I won't do it." I reassured him. He nodded and laced our fingers together.

With a smile plastered on my face I laid my head back down and asked "Soda, have you ever been in love?" He seem startled for a moment and sighed, long and deep.

"Yeah. I was, once. But that was a while ago. It's in the past now." He told me quietly, his smile diminishing. He sounded sad, and almost ashamed.

I waited a moment before I said anything. "What happened?" He wouldn't look at me, but he knew the question was coming.

He didn't answer for a few moments, trying to find the best way to put. I'm not sure if he was doing it more for me or him. I propped myself up on my left elbow and rolled onto my side, and watched his handsome face struggle. I gave him my right hand, to replace the one I propped myself up with, and began to rub the back of his hand with my thumb, letting him know that I was here.

He finally came up with an answer. "I was gonna marry her. Thought she was the one. We'd been going strong for a long time, nearly two years. I didn't think our relationship could get better, or ever get ruined. We'd be together forever. Or at least that's what I thought." He paused and stared at the sky as a small smile crept on his face, remembering the happy times. "Then one day she comes up to me. She starts to cry when she sees me and I, of course, was worried. I thought someone hurt her. I was angry. She wouldn't look me in the eye the entire time and I can't even count the number of times I asked her what was wrong, pleading with her to tell me. Then, she took a deep breath and looked me in the eye and chocked out the words that I just can't forget no matter how hard I try." He stopped. His smile vanished and I could see the small tears forming in his now glassy eyes.

I looked at him with concern and understanding. I know how it feels to love someone so much it hurts, and then everything falls down in a split second. I waited patiently for him to finish.

"She said 'Soda, I'm leaving.' I know she was crying and all, but part of me didn't even feel like she was sad. She just said it so plainly, and that's what gets to me. I didn't understand why she'd said it until she looked down at her stomach and then back at me. Then I got it. And it wasn't mine. I knew that, we never got that far. I had just barely turned seventeen, and she wasn't even quite there yet. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and tried to apologize, but I couldn't take it. I just walked away. She didn't even try to stop me, didn't even try to explain herself, and I haven't seen or heard from since. I wrote her a letter once. She returned it, unopened. I just wanted to know why she did it. Why I wasn't enough." He said, still avoiding looking at me.

I could feel myself start to tear up. I couldn't stand to see him like this. Blocking off my mind, I reached over a carefully turned his head to face me. "Well, it's her who missed out." I told him with a smile, and wiped away a falling tear on his face with my thumb. "Soda, I would never ever hurt you like that. You'll always be more than enough for me." I said as I inched my face close to his.

Slowly, we closed the gap and our lips connected. It seemed so natural. Kissing this boy. His lips were soft and warm and I knew there was no going back. I knew I should be scared, but strangely, I wasn't. Something about him made me forget about past loves. And I loved every second of it.

We pulled away after a minute of pure bliss and just stared at each other, budding love in our eyes. Not a touch of sadness were in his, and all my fear was gone. I laughed nervously and looked away. "You'll be the end of me, Sodapop Curtis." I joked. I just didn't understand how he could unravel all my promises I made to myself, just like that.

He laughed. "In a good way right?" He said, with his signature smile.

I looked back into his chocolate brown eyes and smiled. "In a really good way." I said and leaned back in. I could feel his smile mimic mine as we kissed. We just fit so perfectly to each other. We matched in every way.

After a while we stopped and laid back out on our backs, fingers intertwined and my head on his shoulder. We watched the sky turn different colors. From blue to orange to pink to purple. We watched the sun disappear below the horizon, along with all our fears and doubts.

We decided that it was time to head back to the house. Reluctantly we walked back down the road, hand in hand, just talking and laughing with each other. Soda made me feel safe, comfortable. It had been so long since I felt that way, it felt so good.

Two-Bit popped up from the couch the second we walked in. After a glance at our clasped hands he ran over to Ponyboy, who was sprawled out in the armchair reading a book. "What'd I tell you Pony? Pay up!" Pony sighed and dug in his pocket for a few bucks and put them in Two-Bit's open hand.

I just stared at them in awe. "You bet on us?" I asked in disbelief.

He flipped his head to us, and gave me his characteristic smirk and walked over to me. "C'mon _Andie_, we all knew this was gonna happen." He threw and arm over my shoulders and hit Soda on the shoulder with the same hand. "'Sides, what'd I tell you. Soda here already called dibs on ya. Add that to your major crush on the boy and look at what you get." He gestured to our hands and both Soda and I blushed.

"Don't go actin' like this is 'cuz of you Two-Bit! And don't call me Andie, only Soda can do that!" I yelled, jokingly at him.

He laughed and Soda let go of my hand and ran over to Two-Bit and grabbed him in a headlock. "What happened to 'don't tell anyone?' Huh Two-Bit?" Soda laughed and dragged Two-Bit to the ground and the wrestled.

"Well, sorry Bud. I just had to do something! I couldn't stand seeing you moping around all day! Plus, you were starting to get annoying, complaining left and right and worrying how you couldn't tell if she liked you!" Two-Bit said, strained.

Soda 'accidentally' dropped Two-Bit's head on the hard kitchen floor. "I was not!"

I laughed at them, fighting like small children. "Oh c'mon Two-Bit, just admit it. All you are is jealous of Soda here." I said as I went and pecked Soda on the forehead just to rub it in.

On my way over to sit by Ponyboy I heard Soda laugh in victory and Two-Bit mumble something that sounded like "You got that right!" THUD! Two-Bit cursed. "Will you stop doing that!" Soda laughed evilly.

I stood by Ponyboy until he looked up at me. "So what exactly was the bet?" I asked him.

He laughed. "Well, once we found out that you two had disappeared, Two bet that you'd come back _together_." He said, like it was nothing important.

I laughed half-heartedly. I guess it was expected. Then something occurred to me. "Wait a second. What did _you_ bet?" I asked, curious.

"I honestly didn't think you'd come in holding hands or anything. I mean, I know how scared you are around guys, and how nervous you get around Soda in particular." He said, making me blush.

"Well, I have a good reason to be hesitant around guys. And I do not get nervous around Soda!" I argued. He just nodded and went back to his book, obviously not believing me.

Groaning, I marched back over to the kitchen to watch Two and Soda wrestle. Getting bored after a few minutes, I decided to be helpful and get the rest of dinner ready, when Darry walked in. He laughed at the sight of Two-Bit and Soda going at it on the kitchen floor and set his stuff down. "You know you don't have to do that, Andrea. We're big boys, we can handle it ourselves." Darry said, walking up behind me and pulling things out of the fridge to heat up for dinner.

Gesturing over to the two boys wrestling on the floor with my spoon I replied "Big boys huh? Those two over there were arguing like little children just a minute ago. Plus, with how much I'm over here, might as well make myself useful. Being the only girl and all, some would say this is my job." I smiled at him and he smirked at the boys.

"What were they arguing about?" Darry asked, trying to keep the conversation going. I blushed. That was all the answer he needed.

He hooted. "Finally! It took you two long enough! I was about to take manner into my own hands!" He said joyously and grabbed me in a soft headlock and rubbed my head with his first, successfully screwing up my hair.

I fought my way out of his grasp. "Did everyone know this was gonna happen?" I asked loudly.

He nodded. "Well, you two have known each other a month and a half and you haven't left each others sides since. It was kinda obvious." Blushing again, I looked away smiling. I knew it was true. But I didn't regret it.

Soda pried himself away from Two-Bit and came to stand next to me. "Ugh!" Two-Bit groaned as he 'bumped into' Soda as he walked by, laughing quietly. Soda ran into me lightly and I laughed at him, catching onto his game.

Soda laughed nervously. "I'm gonna hurt that boy one of these days. Hurt him real good too." He said with pretend anger.

Darry reached over and ruffled Sodapop's hair. "Aww, come on little buddy, he's just messin' with you. And besides, you know you like it." He laughed and dodged Soda's punch.

I grabbed hold of Soda before he could advance too much onto Darry, to free Darry and leave him be to finish diner by himself. The little punk! "It's okay So. It don't bother me none. Two-Bit's just doing this so he can cover up for the fact that he cain't get a girl of his own as fast as you can." I said, pretending to whisper, but not really. I wrapped my arms around his neck from the side I was on and kissed him lightly on the check, just to emphasize my point.

"I heard that, Missy!" Two-Bit screamed from the living room.

I laughed out loud as Soda and I walked in to meet Two-Bit in the living room, his arm wrapped around my waist. "You were supposed to, dummy." I paused and looked around at everyone in the house. "And it doesn't look like anyone's denying it. Not even you." I said, causing him to pout and everyone to laugh.

I unattached myself from Soda's grasp around my waist and walked over to Two-Bit's pouting figure in the armchair that Ponyboy was once in. I bent down to his face and kissed his check. "Don't worry Two-Bit. You'll find a girl crazier than you someday." I said, laughing and going back to Soda, who was now sitting comfortably on the long couch. He had his arm up on the back of the couch and I happily filled the gap and he dropped his arms so they lay on my shoulders.

I knew I should be terrified, but I couldn't bring myself to be. The feeling of that confusion brought back many painful memories. "Whatever." Two-Bit replied, trying to sound hurt, as we all turned out attention to the t.v.

No matter how much I fought them, the memories came back, hitting me like a wave. I felt my face fall as I went numb at the thought of him. Everything that happened confused me so much, I didn't even know what to feel anymore. I'd had my share of crying and I was done with that, but the fear never left. Unless I was talking to Soda. "You alright, Andie?" Soda whispered in my ear.

I burrowed my head in his should and shook it slowly. It was no use arguing. I can't keep avoiding it forever.

He didn't do anything for a moment. I thought he was going to let it drop, but he didn't. "Is it about _him_?" He asked. I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that he didn't even know who my ex was, much less what happened between us to screw me up so bad. I nodded, knowing I'd have to explain it soon. I felt him nod too. "Is it partly about us?" He asked, quietly. I could tell he was scared of what the answer might be, as he started to lift his arm away.

I picked my head up and grabbed his hand and pulled it back down. Studying it. Playing with his fingers and looking anywhere but at him. "No. Soda, things between us are great. Perfect even. I'm just...scared. That's all. This is all happening so fast and I just can't slow it down, and it brings back too many painful memories. It happened so fast with him, too. And it all just scares me." I whispered back to him, trying not to let Two and Pony hear. They were too caught up with Mickey Mouse to even realize we were talking, though.

Soda squeezed me to him as close as he could and began to rub my arm soothingly. He knew not to push it yet. He knew the boundaries. I knew he'd ask me later, just not here. Not in front of everyone else. He was thoughtful like that. I laid my head back down on his shoulder and shut my eyes tight, fighting back the tears. It was the first time I'd talked about it since it happened. First time I'd ever admitted I was scared. I always used to be the strong one. Now, I didn't have to be.

"I'm scared too, Andie. But I know we'll get through it." He said quietly. Then, as if to break the silence, Darry called us all in for dinner. I was thankful that he did. It got my mind off things, at least for a while.

I took my usual spot next to Soda, but for some reason, the chairs were a little closer. Actually, a lot closer. I shot Darry a glare and he laughed at us.

We joked and talked during dinner, mainly about Soda and I. I didn't think about _him_ once during dinner, and it felt good. It'd been haunting me since it happened, especially after I met Soda. I knew there was no use in fighting that I was beginning to fall for Soda, and that brought on memories.

Soda kept giving me worried glasses throughout the meal and I planned to tell him soon. I had to get it off my chest, and I knew he wouldn't let me not tell him for very much longer.

The second the first person got up, I dragged Soda outside, not knowing where to go but I knew I wasn't going to be around the rest of the gang when I told him this. He came along willingly, knowing what I was about to do.

I absentmindedly dragged him to the tree he found me at and sat us down, getting ready to do something very dangerous. Tell someone who I'm falling for about my past.

******A/N: OOOOOO..DUN DUN DUUNNNN! What do y'all think happened between Andie and her ex? I'd absolutely love to hear what you think! I hope you don't think I'm moving this story along to fast, because I was going to prolong the beginning of their relationship a little longer just to prove a point...but I know that would get super boring! Especially for me! Soooooooo please please please review as always! Love you Guys! **


	5. Here Comes the Flood

**A/N: Hey PEEPS! I really want to thank you for sticking with this story! I'm really falling in love with it...well in love with Soda! Ahh...he's perfect! Oh well. Anyway...please let me know what you think. This is the longest chapter yet, and the one that is closest to my heart. I'll explain later. But for now just read, enjoy, and REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders or Who I Am Hates Who I've Been.**

_You might think I'm losing my mind,_  
_But I will shy away from the specifics..._

_'cause I don't want you to know where I am_  
_'cause then you'll see my heart_  
_In the saddest state it's ever been._

Leaning my head against the trunk of the tree, I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. It was too early to start crying.

Soda sat next to me, legs crossed and my outstretched ones directly in front of him. He was watching me. "Andrea. You don't have to do this." He said quietly, taking my hand.

A tear dropped down quickly as I nodded. "Yes, I do Soda. You deserve to know. I can't keep this from you anymore. I can't and I won't. You need to know." I told him, opening my eyes to look at him. He nodded and waited for me to start. I didn't know how to though.

After a few minutes of me trying to figure out, Soda finally got impatient. "Just start at the beginning." He suggested. I looked at him blankly. What was the beginning? I just wasn't sure anymore.

I sighed and solemnly began. "His name is Mason Clarke. It was about a year and a half ago when we met at a party. A club really. It was the one thing I used to enjoy. I've never been a true greaser girl, but those parties just made me feel alive. Free. He just walked up to me and got real close and asked if I wanted to go somewhere more private, like a bedroom. I told him, of course, to get lost. I didn't do those kind of things, never have.

"He didn't like that. He tried to drag me back, but somehow I got out of his grasp and I ran away." I paused, trying to recall everything that happened. Soda's grasp on my hand tightened. Part in anger at Mason, and part for sympathy at me. I smiled lightly at him.

"I ran straight home and didn't turn back once. Didn't want to see him chasing me, because he seemed persistent enough to do that. And it turns out that we went to the same school. He was in half of my classes at school, and I was always passing him in the halls. For the first few days he just kept glaring at me, like I'd done something awful to him.

"I caught him bullying this kid once. He pushed him into the lockers hard and he fell. Mason just started kicking the kid, and a few of his other friends joined in. I couldn't just stand there and watch it happen, so I went over and I pulled him away, screaming at him. I told him I hated him, and I meant every word. The feeling was mutual.

"We went on like that for a while, until we were forced to sit next to each other in one of our classes, and we were on the end of our row, with no one to talk to but each other. He tried to talk to other people and he talked about things I knew something about and I had an interest in, so naturally I pitched into their conversations. After some time, we started to become friends. I'm not sure what changed but I thought it was for the better. We started talking a lot after that and we became really close. That's when things started going down hill. I just didn't realize it yet." I stopped, trying to catch my breath through the tears that were started to fall steadily down my face.

I took a deep breath and continued, trying to stop the tears. "We started to fall for each other. He told me on many occasions that he liked me, and I told him that I liked him too. I knew it wasn't smart for me to like him as much as I did, but I just didn't care at that point. Rodney tried to murder the kid when he found out we were dating." I smiled at the thought of what my brother used to be.

"Then, the real trouble started. We went on a trip once, with a group of friends, down to Texas. We were walking in the park one day and he kept complaining about his arm. And after much arguing, he showed me the thing that changed me." I said and got quiet as I remembered the turning point.

_ The sky was a beautiful blue as Mason and I walked hand in hand through the trees. Things couldn't get more perfect in my mind. Everyone was running around and laughing around us._

_ "My arm hurts." Mason complained for the umpteenth time. _

_ I stopped him and turned him to face me. "Okay. Either tell me what is going on or stop complaining." I demanded._

_ He thought for a moment. "Why don't you ask Rachel? She'll tell you!" He said to me. _

_ I groaned. "Why can't you just tell me, Mason!" I outburst._

_ He shushed me. "I'll show you later." He said, trying not to draw attention to himself._

_ I nodded reluctantly, knowing that was the best I was going to get out of his stubborn mind. We walked through the rest of the park, talking about pointless things. I couldn't get out of my mind what it could be. I doubted it was just a sore muscle, it was something he couldn't tell me in front of the group, and that scared me. Mason was never the type to keep stuff in. He was the tough guy._

_ I was talking with Rachel at the bonfire we had made. Her beautiful features were accented by the warm glow of the fire. She really was a very pretty girl._

_ "Hey. Andrea, c'mere." Mason said from the other side of the flames. I looked at Rachel apologetically and walked over to Mason, who was alone. _

_ "Yes, Mason?" I asked, knowing already what this was about. _

_ "So you know how you asked about why my arm hurts?" He asked. I nodded. He rolled his shirt sleeve up. "Well here it is." He said. As my eyes adjusted to the minimal lighting, I could see four or five long, thin, horizontal red lines. I knew instantly what they were. _

_ "I looked up at his face with shock in my eyes. I never expected this to happen. His eyes showed no sadness, not even pain. "Why?" I asked plainly._

_ He shrugged like it was no big deal. "Reasons." He said. I couldn't say anything, could barely breath, as I nodded and sat back down next to Rachel._

Soda shifted himself to be sitting next to me, and he pulled me into his embrace. I couldn't stop the tears from coming down any longer. He slowly began to rock me back and forth, rubbing my back soothingly.

"He didn't even look sorry that he did it, Soda. That's what kills me the most. He didn't tell me what happened, and clearly I wasn't the first to know. He almost looked proud of what he did! I didn't even know he had problems like that! I was his girlfriend, and I didn't even know! All my friends knew though! So I was the last to know! And that tore me apart. I tried so hard for so long to fix it. To fix him. To fix me. I tried so hard. So, so hard." I chocked out.

The sobs that were coming out of me were awful. They racked through my entire body. I couldn't control it. I was shaking and twitching, and I couldn't stop it. I can't seem to stop anything anymore.

"Andie. Stop. It'll be okay. I'm here now, and I swear I always will be. I'll never, ever hurt you like that. Don't beat yourself up about it. It wasn't your fault." He said, trying to calm me down.

I shook my head. "That's all I've been doing for the past year and a half. Beating myself up for everything I did. Everything I didn't. I've been blaming myself. Someone has too, I guess. He sure doesn't fell any remorse." I said, sobbing into Soda.

"Don't think like that Andie. It couldn't have been your fault. It sounds like you did everything you could. It's in the past now Andie, and I'm here. I won't let anything hurt you like that ever again. I promise." He told me once more.

I sighed. "I didn't do everything I could. If I did, it would've worked. You don't even know half of the story, Soda. How can you say that I did everything? You don't even know, and you can't protect me from it!t It haunts me every single day of my life!" I said, not even trying to hold back the sobs coming out from me.

Every memory came back. All the ones I'd hoped I'd forget. I didn't know that I felt this sad about all of this until now. I'd never told anyone this, and I'd tried so hard never to cry about it. I was so numb for a long time, and now I guess the dam of numbness had broken, releasing the destructive flood of memories.

Soda pulled me fully onto his lap and threw my legs to the other side, so that he was cradling me in his arms. I buried my head into his chest as far as it would go, trying to hide from the world. Hide from the memories. "I don't need to know the whole story to know that you're amazing in every way. That you would do absolutely anything to save someone you love." He said. He sounded sad, but I wasn't sure why.

I didn't bother responding. I was so tired of fighting this memory. Too tired to say anything. I just sat and sobbed into Soda's chest while he held me and told me it was okay.

I didn't remember falling asleep, but when I woke, I was in a dark room in a warm bed. I looked around and saw another bed on the other side of the room. I was alone in the room though.

The sheets were dark blue and the walls were the same shade. There was one window on the wall behind me, shielded by a white curtain. The pale light of morning was shining through, dancing on the walls. The sheets smelled like Soda, and I knew this was his bed.

I wondered groggily how I got here as I began to get up. I was still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday, my old jeans and an old, dark gray T-shirt.

I walked slowly out into the living room to find Soda laying on the couch. His head was on a pillow and he had a few blankets around him. It was clear that he slept here last night, but I knew he was awake. "Hey." I said softly. My voice was weak and scratchy.

He sat straight up and turned to me. Relief and concern crossed his face once he spotted me. "Hey." He replied.

I walked over to him and cuddled into him as he wrapped his arm around me. He kissed my head. "You okay?" He asked.

I nodded slowly. "I will be. Just give me some time. It's just a lot of painful memories, but now that I've told someone, they should fade. They shouldn't hurt so bad, they're just scars." I told him. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince more. He nodded.

It was quiet for a long time, with the exception of the television. I looked over at his pillow and blanket. "You know, you really didn't have to do that, So." I said.

He jolted a little bit. "Hmmm?" He groaned. I knew he had fallen back asleep, probably hadn't slept all night.

I giggled softly at him and wiggled out of his arm. He couldn't even keep his eyes open. I eased him back down onto his pillow and kissed his head, ruffling his hair. I pulled the blanket up around him and decided to get myself cleaned up.

I scoured through their closets until I found a clean towel and walked into the bathroom. I turned the water on in the shower and waited for it to warm up before I got in. I looked at myself in the mirror, and was appalled at what I saw. Whoever that was staring back, wasn't me.

That girl had her hair in a knotted mess and her eyes were puffy. She had dark make up stains running down her face and around her eyes. Eyes that once shined with joy and happiness, that were now filled with defeat and anything but life. Her eyes were dark, but there were small dots of joy in them, small, but still there. It scared me. I hoped that this changed soon, as I stepped into the shower.

The water felt good on my skin. Felt as if it was washing my worries and fears away. The heat of it felt cleansing. Melting away doubts and forcing them down the drain, never to be seen again.

After a while I shut the water off. I dried off and wrapped myself in a towel. Only then did it occur to me that I didn't have any clean clothes to change into. I cursed myself and only prayed that Soda was still asleep and that none of the other boys had showed up.

I grabbed my clothes off the counter and cracked the door open an inch. I watched and listened for any movement before I darted to Soda's room. I locked the door behind me as I looked around for a shirt.

I threw on my underwear and jeans and found one of Soda's red flannel shirts that he always wears. I smiled to myself as I buttoned it up, securing it to me. I drew my hair into a loose ponytail and ventured into the living room.

Soda was still alone in the room, softly snoring. I smiled and walked into the kitchen, looking for something to eat. I opened the fridge, hoping to find something. No such luck. I knew I would have to make something. I shot a glance at the clock. It was almost noon.

I was surprised. I never slept that long. Definitely not after what happened with Mason. He'd filled my sleep with nightmares. I slept soundly last night, though. I smiled because I knew it was because of Soda. It felt phenomenal to have a real smile on my face again.

I pulled out everything I'd need and I made myself a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. I grabbed a coke out of the fridge and went to sit in Darry's armchair and watched the t.v. I ate my lunch slowly and just relaxed for once.

I was just about to doze off when Soda stirred on the couch. Figuring he was just moving I relaxed again. Almost asleep again I heard a soft "Andrea?" It was Soda.

I sat up slowly and rubbed my face, trying to get my eyes to open. "Yeah, Soda?" I asked, groggily.

He was sitting up fully now with his feet on the floor and his elbows on his knees, head in hands. He was rubbing his face, trying to wake up. "What time is it?" He asked. I wasn't sure myself.

I shrugged. "1:00 maybe?" I told him. He nodded. I walked over and gave him a quick peck on the lips smiling at him. I ran my fingers through his hair that was now all over the place, despite the grease that was in it. "You hungry?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He said, still half-asleep. I laughed at him and kissed his forehead.

"Okay, Sleepyhead." I laughed as I walked into the kitchen again. I quickly made him a sandwich and grabbed two cokes from the fridge. I walked back and put the sandwich in his lap, along with the coke. I sat down next to him.

He began to dig into the sandwich, almost as if he hadn't eaten in a long time. I laughed as I tried to open my Coke. I couldn't get the cap to move. I sighed in defeat and handed it to Soda. He laughed at my defeated face and opened it easily. I looked at him in disbelief. "I loosened it." I scoffed.

He laughed again as he handed it back to me. "Sure, okay." He said in a mocking tone. I punched his arm lightly, causing us both to laugh. "No wonder you couldn't get it open. By the way, nice shirt." He smirked as he looked me up and down.

I looked down, forgetting what shirt I was wearing. I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I looked back at him. I laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, I took a shower. Felt dirty, but then I realized that I didn't have clean clothes to change into. I hope you don't mind." I said simply.

He laughed once again and wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in close to him. He took a swig of Coke and flashed me his heart-stopping smile. "Nah. I don't mind at all. You look better in it than me anyways. Plus, I like the idea of you wearing my clothes."

Something flashed in his eyes. Something...reckless. "But, then again. Maybe not, you might as well just take it off and give it back right now." He said. He flashed me a mischievous look and I caught on.

I laughed and slapped his chest playfully. "Soda! You're a rotten little devil aren't you?" I laughed as I leaned in and kissed him. A smile played on our lips as we laughed.

He pulled back a little. "Only on certain days." He joked and leaned back. "You know I'm just messin'. If I really wanted it that way, I'd have slept in my room with you." He laughed.

I smiled bigger. "I know." I said, tapping his nose with my finger playfully. "You know you didn't have to sleep out here. I'd have been perfectly fine sleeping on the couch. It's your bed." I told him.

He nodded and continued to gaze at me. "I know," He replied, tapping my nose, mimicking me. I laughed. "but I know my bed is more comfortable, and it was a rough day for you yesterday, and I knew Ponyboy wouldn't mind. He likes you, so why not?" He said.

I couldn't argue with him. I wasn't even sure how. I just laughed and twisted myself and scooted back so that I was leaning against the armrest with my legs across Soda's lap. I loved to sit like this, trapping Soda.

He just laughed at me. I loved hearing his laugh. It had become my favorite sound. It was light and full of life. It was very charming on him. Everything he did just captivated me.

We just sat there watching Bonanza, laughing at stupid stuff. He made me feel like a kid again, and I loved it. We made fun of all the characters, and made the serious moments funny.

Soon I was just sitting there watching my feet as I moved them with the theme song. My toes were painted a vibrant red color. Then, Soda grabbed my toes. "Stop." He said, slightly annoyed. He was laughing though.

I kicked a little. My feet were extremely ticklish. He released my toes and I decided to test him, feeling impish. I started to make my feet dance and again he took hold of my feet again. He starred at me with a look of forced, fake anger. I laughed. Partly because of his face, and partly because of my feet. He began to move his hand and I squealed and laughed.

He cracked a wicked smile and he began to tickle my feet. I kicked my feet and shrieked, begging him to stop through my uncontrollable laughter.

He began to move other ticklish places like my stomach and continued to torture me. I was kicking so hard that I accidentally fell off his lap and onto the floor with a loud thud.

Before I could even catch my breath, Soda hopped down and continued to dig his finger into my sides.

I could barely hear his evil laughter over my screams, but I knew it was there. I kept pleading with him to stop, but I wasn't very threatening when I couldn't stop laughing.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang and I knew it was the door. "Woah. Pony, looks like we're interrupting something...important." Someone joked. It was Two-Bit.

The door slam distracted Soda stop temporarily. Just enough time for me to squeeze out from under him. I ran over frantically to Two-Bit, who was still standing by the door. "Two-Bit!" I screamed as I hid behind him and grabbed his shoulders, using him a human shield between me and Soda.

I was breathing heavily. Two-Bit seemed confused and caught off-guard. "Well, I'm glad to see you too. Mind telling me what is happening here exactly?" Two-Bit said as Soda and I just laughed.

"He's trying to kill me!" I screamed dramatically. Soda just laughed at me, as I continued to try to catch my breath. He made his way over to us. I pretended to be afraid, just to emphasize a point. But my laughing ruined it.

Soda kept trying to get to me, but I kept using Two-Bit as a guard. Soon, Two-Bit turned around and grabbed me by the arms. He drug me around and shoved me over to Soda, despite my fighting. Soda wrapped both of his arms around my waist and arms as I tried to escape. Two and Pony just laughed at us.

"I'd be mad at you too if you stole my favorite shirt." Two-Bit commented as he tapped me on the nose like Soda had earlier and made kissy noises at me, teasing me. I just continued to laugh as he and Ponyboy walked into the living room and sat down, leaving Soda and I alone in the kitchen.

I stopped screaming and Soda just held me there, swaying softly, quietly laughing. He rested his chin on my shoulder and shut his eyes, a huge smile on his face. I just laughed and smiled and leaned my head back slightly and shut my own eyes, savoring this moment. Never wanting to leave.

After a while of pure bliss, a realization hit me. My eyes shot open. "Soda." I whispered urgently.

"Hmm?" He asked, sounding perfect. It made my heart melt. But, I knew I had to go.

Reluctantly, I pulled myself out of his grasp. "I gotta go." I said quietly, wishing it wasn't true. "My parents are probably worried sick. They'll be angry with me if I don't get home soon." I explained.

He looked sad, but he knew as much as I did that I couldn't stay. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, wishing I never had to let go. "I'm sorry." I said quietly. He nodded and I started to walked towards the door, his hand slipping through mine.

Suddenly, his grip tightened. "Wait, Andrea." He said softly. I looked back at him as he pulled me back close into him. He clutched me to him and leaned down. "I love you." He whispered in my ear.

I knew he meant it with everything he had. I could feel it. I looked back at him and he gazed into my face. My eyes started to water as I pulled away from him. I gave him a weak smile as I walked out the door, wishing for nothing more than to have the strength to say it back.

_I talk to absolutely no one._  
_Couldn't keep to myself enough._  
_And the things bottled inside have finally begun_  
_To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up._

**A/N: This was the longest chapter yet! Whoop Whoop! Anyway..this chapter and the whole story with Mason is really close to me because it happened to me. It really it the story of what happened to my friend and I. I had to tweak some parts to make it fit, like how they met. But almost everything else between them is exactly what happened...so yeah, this chapter was a little hard to write at the beginning. So, please, before I post more and pour out painful memories, let me know what you think about this. I don't want to go back into that time if no one likes this story...so please, please let me know what you think. Sorry if this chapter offended anyone.**_  
_


	6. Abuse I've Learned To Love

**A/N: Hey followers! I hope you are liking this story...if not...please let me know what I can do better. Theres is going to be a lot of things happening quickly for Andrea in the next couple chapters!**

_Don't let go_

_I've wanted this far too long_

_Mistakes become regrets_

_I've learned to love abuse_

_Please show me what I'm looking for_

I cried the entire way home. I could only imagine the hurt on Soda's face as I left him there, probably doubting how I felt about him. I knew I was falling for him, and that scared me.

It was killing me inside that I could have caused that much main, by not saying anything at all. I was kicking myself inside for being such a coward. I knew that's what I was. Nothing more than afraid.

Flashes of this notorious Sandy flashed through my head. I wonder if that is what he was thinking about too. That made me cry even harder.

I was surprised I hadn't remembered Sand until now. I remember all the girls talking about it. About them being together, and Sandy leaving Soda in cold blood. Or at least that's how they described it.

Sandy had been a beautiful girl, and seemed to be really sweet and loyal. I guess that wasn't true. I hated that girl. She'd caused Soda so much pain. I could see that in his eyes. She was his own personal Mason.

My mind was so jumbled when I opened the door to my house. The second the door opened an inch, my mother was already standing, facing the door. She had tears in her eyes.

She waited until I shut the door and faced her. She ran at me and embraced me tightly. It didn't feel like she was planning on ever letting me go. We were both sobbing now, for different reasons. "Don't you do that to me, Andrea! You had me worried sick! I thought you'd ran off for good. Or worse." She said into my shoulder.

I rubbed her back soothingly, like Soda had done for me. "I'm sorry." That was all I could say. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't help but feel like I shouldn't be here. I wanted nothing more than to be back with Soda in his arms.

When we finally got a hold on our emotions we let each other go. She led me over to the couch. "Where've you been Andrea?" She asked, studying my face with worry in her eyes.

I shrugged and fought the tears that I could feel coming on. "A friends. We lost track of time last night, and we fell asleep. It was an accident. I'm sorry." It wasn't all a lie.

My mother can read me like a book, though. She can see right through me. She smiled lightly at me and sat back. "Who is he?" She asked. She sounded happy again. I loved it when she was this way. She really got me.

I tried to deny it, but knew it wasn't any use. I sighed and sat back. "His name is Sodapop Curtis. He's real good to me, Momma. You ain't gotta worry about that. He respects me." I told her.

When I finally looked up at her she was smiling lovingly at me. "And you love him." She said. She made it sound so easy.

After a while, I nodded. Slowly and carefully. "He told me he loved me, and I just left him there! I'm such an idiot! I left him there without even an explanation!" I said, frustrated in myself.

She pushed a strand of loose hair back behind my ear and I looked back up at her beautiful, timeless face. "You need to tell him that." She told me. I knew she was right, she always was.

I put my face in my hands. "I know. But I'm so scared." I said quietly. She began to rub my back.

"There's nothing wrong with being scared. It's natural." She reassured me. I nodded, but before I could respond, Rodney came into the house.

Many different emotions crossed his face when he saw me, then back to icy stone. "Where've you been the past couple days? Huh, sis?" He asked, not really caring.

I brushed him off, rolling my eyes. He didn't like that. He walked over to me and stood close. "Not gonna answer me? I asked you a question." He said threateningly.

I stood up and faced him, our noses almost touching. It didn't scare me to be this close to my brother. He didn't scare me. "What's it to you, Huh Rod? You're never around here anymore anyways. Always on the ground at Tim Shepard's feet." I said, throwing as much venom into it as possible.

His eyes got darker as his voice got lower, more menacing. "Don't you say anything about Tim! You don't even know him!" He was growing defensive.

I cocked an eyebrow. A trick I'd learned from Two-Bit. I looked in his eyes and still saw nothing of the old Rodney in there. I let out a sharp, irritated sigh as I turned and walked away, knowing it wasn't worth it. "I've sure heard enough about him to tell that he is the most low-lying, lie feeding, jerks in the entire state of Oklahoma." I spat back, not even looking at him.

I started for the door, was going back to the Curtis', but then I remembered the boy I left there, and my mother on the couch crying because I was gone. So I turned and made my way towards my room.

Stopping in the doorway, I turned to face him again. This was going to be dangerous, but I wanted to see how far I could push him. I put on a fake smile, sweet, unlike my eyes. My eyes were stone hard, matching his. "By the way, I was at the Curtis' house. I'm one of them now." I commented venomously. And with that, I slammed the door of my room.

I threw myself on my bed, counting the seconds it took before Rodney came knocking at my door. Three-seconds. Rodney was pounding heavily on my locked door. "What do you mean you're one of them!" He bellowed.

I took a deep breath and put my cocky smirk back on my face as I quickly unlocked the door and swung it open. I tried to look like I didn't care as I leaned against the door. For some reason, I wanted him mad at me, and now I knew just how to get it. Pretend I don't care. "I mean that I'm part of their gang now. Hah! I'm even dating one of them. I don't understand what is so hard to get about that? Hmmm." I told him with a sharp laugh.

I saw his hand clench into fists. My plan was working. "You're _dating_one of _them! _Which one! I swear, if it's that Winston kid, I'll knock both of y'alls head clean off!" He said, like they were some rats. Like he was one to talk.

I laughed at his last comment. "I'm too good for Dallas. And I don't believe it is any of your business who I'm dating anymore. According to the system, you're family with _Tim_, and my family is my gang. And you know what! I'm perfectly fine with that! They treat me better than you ever did! And don't you be talking about them like they're some trash. We're all on the same side of the tracks here, and if anyone is trash, it sure as heck ain't my gang. It's _yours._" I spewed, not taking my eyes off his.

Suddenly, I was looking at the wall next to the one behind him, as something made contact with my face. I was stunned for a few moments as I stepped back from the force he hit me with. I wasn't sure if he had punched or slapped me, all I knew is that it was the worst pain I'd ever felt. I never thought Rodney would hit me, didn't think he would ever have it in him. Now I knew for sure that my brother was gone, never to return.

Then, he grabbed my shoulders and pinned my back against the wall behind me. He looked me dead in the eye and stopped for a second. I thought I saw a flash of regret in his eyes, and fear. Fear of himself. His grip loosened as he saw the fear that was creeping into my eyes, along with tears.

Then, it all left. Just as fast as it came, my brother left again. His grasp on my arms tightened. A little too tight, and it made me squeak in pain. I looked away, finally afraid of what my brother had become. "Look at me!" He demanded.

Slowly, I turned my head back to is. He was only a few inches away from my face and I could feel his breath on my face. I could smell the faint trail of beer and drugs on his tongue. It smelt stale, so I thought maybe the effects had faded some. If that was true, I didn't want to know what would've happened if it all had been fresh.

I begged my lip to stop quivering, but it didn't listen. I looked straight into his eyes, trying to mimic the coldness in mine, but all I could get was fear and pain. "Now you listen to me, and you listen to me good: Stay away from them! I'm still your brother! Your older brother, and you can't ever replace me. You understand! They aren't your family, Andrea. You're just another pretty face to them!" He said.

The ice crept back into my eyes. Easily. "Yeah, Rodney! You're _really_ _some_ big brother there! You haven't even batted an eye at me for the past year! I haven't gotten so much as a 'how are you' outta you for who knows how long! Don't go pretending that you would chose me over Tim! We all know who you'd save if you had the choice." I shot at him like daggers. I hope that hurt. I hope it killed him inside because he knew it was the truth. We all did.

He cursed loudly, and punched the wall as close to my head as he could, but it never touched me. He looked at me and opened his mouth to say something, but sighed angrily and walked out my door, punching the frame. Leaving me afraid and alone against my wall. "Yeah. You're some brother, Rod." I said to myself as the tears started to fall.

Soda didn't show up for lunch the next day. I knew why. I knew it was my fault.

Pony was the first person to say anything about my face at lunch. "Who did this to you?" He asked. It was obvious that it was someone. It was a very distinct handprint on the left side of my face.

I hadn't even bothered to cover it up with make-up. I wore it almost as a sign to others. _Don't trust anyone who trusts Tim Shepard. They aren't who you think they are._ That's what I thought every time I caught someone staring at my face.

I was quiet for a moment, not sure if I really wanted him to know. "Rodney. My _brother_did this to me!" I said angrily. I picked at the grass on the hill we were on. I was the only one sitting down. I had been waiting for Pony and Two-Bit.

They both were staring at me with their mouths open. They both looked pissed, especially Two-Bit. He was the next to talk. "I swear, when I get my hand on him, his toast. He had no right to do that to you! I may not be able to do anything for Johnny, but I sure as heck ain't gonna let your brother think he can get away with this. You're family now, and no one messes with our family!" He said, making me smile at his protectiveness. He reminded me of what Rodney used to be like. In more ways than just this.

I got up from the ground and wrapped my arms around Two-Bit. "Thanks Two-Bit. But, that's the reason he did it. I told him that I was one of you now, and I was bad-mouthing Tim. I told him Soda and I were a thing now. Actually I didn't tell him it was Soda, but he knows I ain't coming to him anymore. He over reacted." I said quietly.

I felt stupid and somehow responsible for what had happened. I shouldn't have pushed Rodney that far. Should've known better.

Two-Bit hugged me back, staying silent. He knew there wasn't anything to say and even if there was, he couldn't say it. He was filled to the brim with anger.

I pulled away and began to pace slightly. "It's all because of Tim Shepard. He changed Rodney. And it sure as heck ain't for the better. The old Rodney would never do something like this. Man, I hate the Tim Shepard with everything I have. It'll be his last day if I ever get a hold of that arrogant, manipulative, Son-of-a-" I started, but was cut off my Two-Bit.

He grabbed my shoulders. Stopping my pacing and forcing me to look in his eyes. "Look, Andrea. As much as I'm loving this whole little kick-butt thing you're going through. This ain't you. You gotta stop it. Plus, even if it was, you wouldn't be able to inflict serious damage." He said laughing at me.

I couldn't help but laugh. I knew it was true, I'd never be able to do any damage to Tim Shepard. It wasn't that I couldn't watch him get hurt, because I personally would love that. It was that I couldn't watch my brother get hurt.

As much as it killed me to admit, Rodney idolized Tim Shepard. They were like brothers now and it would eat him away if anything serious happened to Tim. I couldn't watch that happen.

I cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked. "I might be small but I can still hurt you!" I said and punched him playfully a few times.

He stood there like I wasn't doing anything. "Oh yeah, short stack? How do you figure that?" He asked, making fun of me.

I stopped hitting him and stood up straight. "You aren't the only boy I know who'll protect me. You forget the connections I have." I winked at him.

He laughed out loud. "Oh, right. You've got Soda! Man, he wouldn't really hurt me, even if he tried, he couldn't." He bluffed.

I raised my eyebrow higher. "Yeah, Two-Bit? You think you stand a chance against my boyfriend? Last time I checked, you had to call uncle last time you guys fought." I kidded with him, and stuck my tongue out in his direction.

He nodded, knowing I was right. He threw his arm around my shoulder. "So, it's official eh?" He changed the subject. He made little kissy noises at me. That seemed to be his favorite thing to do nowadays.

I punched him in the ribs lightly. He pretended it hurt. "You're darn right it is, so you can back off!" We laughed. He was such a flirt with me, ever since we met. I knew he wasn't serious, but I still loved to tease him about it.

We all were laughing when we laid back down on the grass. We messed around for a little bit and I desperately wished Sodapop was here. I got quiet.

They noticed and got quiet too. "What's wrong Andrea?" Ponyboy asked from beside me.

I rolled my head over to face him. "How bad did I mess it up?" I asked him softly, not really wanting to know the answer.

It took him a minute to realize I was talking about Soda. He sighed. "I'm not sure. He seemed kinda sad last night, but it ain't awful. But, I guess it might be more, considering he's not here." He answered, gazing at the sky.

"Nothing a big 'ol smooch can't fix, eh Andrea?" Two-Bit joked, trying to lighten the mood.

I didn't even react to his joke, which is weird. "Do you think he'd talk to me?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to fix this mess I made.

Ponyboy chuckled briefly. "Of course he'd talk to you. He loves you, and you're gonna have to be a real pain to change that." He reassured me.

I smiled and made up my mind as the lunch bell rang. We all got up but I wasn't heading back to school. I waved them goodbye to their last class and they nodded. "Don't forget to try the kiss thing first! I'm sure it'll work!" Two-Bit joked as We parted ways. I tried to find the perfect words, but what was the point? I'd forget them all when I saw his face. Always do.

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter! I know I did! Who's your guys' favorite character so far? Anyone you wanna see more of? Please..I'm begging you to let me know what you think. It kind of makes me upset that I only have 6 reviews..that is only one per chapter. That is kind of sad. I also have 8 followers and 5 favorites, which makes me happy...but only one of you has reviewed. I really, really would like more reviews, even if it just says good 's nice to know you guys care. Especially let me know if there is something you think I need to fix.**


	7. All To Familiar

_****_**A/N: Hey Everybody! I am so stoked at how many reviews I'm starting to get! Sorry about the wait for me to update, it's been a crazy week with homework! I've gotten some reviews saying that they aren't sure what Mason did or what Andrea looks like. Sorry about the Andrea thing. I'll try to do better. I promise that in the next chapter or two I will explain both! Hope you enjoy!**

_And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and _

_I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key_

_And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me_

I wasn't sure where he'd be right now. Wasn't sure if he was at work. He'd always come to visit us a school during lunch so I knew it was his break. Only problem: he usually spent that with us so I had no clue where he was.

I stopped by the DX to be sure. I found Steve sitting at the counter. He had his nose stuck deep in an old mechanics magazine. There was a Cherry Red Mustang on the front cover.

He looked up at the ding of the bell on the door. His face broke out in a half-smirk. "Wondered how long it'd take you to be over this way." He said.

I shifted awkwardly, pushing my bag back behind my hip. I gave a half-hearted smile. He sensed that I wasn't going to reply. "He's in the back." He said and pointed to the back office with his thumb. He went back to his magazine as I passed.

I stopped when I was next to him, grabbing on to his arm lightly. He looked at me. "How bad is he?" I asked, quietly. Praying Soda couldn't hear us.

Glancing backwards towards the door he answered me. "It's alright. I think he's just thinking about what happened with Sandy. He don't love you any less if that's what you're asking." I nodded and proceeded to the back door.

I knocked softly. "Soda? It's me. Can I come in?" I asked through the dark gray wooden door.

He hesitated for what seemed like forever. "Yeah. It's unlocked." I heard his beautiful voice say.

Taking a deep breath I opened the door and slid inside. I closed the door and leaned back against it, giving Soda his space, and dropped my bag on the floor softly. He was sitting across the room in a computer lab chair. He was facing me with his feet kicked out in front of him and he was sunk down in the seat. "Hey." He said. He sounded discouraged, but the light was still in his eyes when he saw me.

"Hey, So." I said, choking back tears. The fear was welling up inside me of letting my feelings out to this boy. I couldn't look at him. I didn't understand why this was so hard. I knew I felt it for him, and it was so strong. Maybe that's what scared me. The intensity.

It was awkward in the room, each of us waiting for the other to speak first. "What happened to your face?" Soda said, suddenly alarmed, catching a glimpse of my bruise as I looked to my right. I heard the wheels of the chair scoot back as he stood up. He was by my side in an instant. He reached out and touched my cheek tentatively.

His cool hand felt good on my face. Gentle and soft. I looked back at him and could see the fright and anger in his eyes. His eyes looked broken, and in the back of my mind, I knew I was the only one who could fix it. A tear ran down my check, dropping onto the ground softly. I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent more from falling.

Sodapop gently wiped the tear track away with his thumb. "My brother. He hit me." I said, forcing my eyes open to look at him. To look into his eyes that I've found all my comfort in.

He looked angry. I'd never seen him this upset, and that scared me. "There is no way you're going back there for the next day or two. Especially not tonight." He said firmly. I knew there would be no budging on the subject, and I didn't really mind. I didn't want to go home yet anyway.

I gave him a weak smile to let him know I was okay. "Soda." I said softly, remembering the reason I was here. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry. About last night." It was barely a whisper, but I knew he heard me.

He took the hand that was on my head and he pulled me in close. He clasped on the the small of my back with the other hand. His fingers were tangled in my dark dirty-blonde hair hair. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I know you're just scared. It's okay, I promise...It's just, when it happened, I felt like it was Sandy all over again, and I just couldn't take it. I thought I'd screwed it all up again." He said. Gosh, I loved this boy.

I pulled away just enough to look in his eyes. Our noses were almost touching. I threw my arms around his neck and ran my fingers into his hair. "Soda, I would never do anything like that to you. Never in a million years. It's no where near your fault. It's me. I'm just scared. That's all. I've just never had feelings this strong for anyone before, and it scares me." I said, trying hard not to cry.

"I know, and I'd never hurt you like Mason did. And you don't have to say it, it's alright. I know you do." He said.

"More than you know." I said as I closed the gap and laid my lips on his. He pulled me back in close and kissed me back. I dug my fingers wildly in his hair and his grip tightened around my waist and he picked my feet off the ground so we were the same level. I was only an inch or two shorter than he was, but it did make a difference.

He set my feet back on the ground shortly and brought his other hand up to my hair. We kissed passionately like this until we were interrupted by a small knock on the door. We instantly separated. We both ran our fingers through our hair, trying to look like nothing just happened. We smiled at each other and he grabbed my hand as Steve poked his head in the room.

He looked around until he spotted us and a huge grin cracked on his face. "I knew you two couldn't stay upset." He said, making me blush. "Anyway, Soda, you gotta get back to work, you're slacking." He laughed.

Soda looked at me and nodded as he led me to the front part of the store. I picked up my bag on the way out of the room. We walked to the counter in the front and since there wasn't any customers in the store, and no chairs, I hopped up on the counter and crossed my ankles, swinging my legs.

Soda smiled at me as he just stood at the counter. I looked around the store slowly. "So this is what you do huh?" I asked, trying to spark conversation.

Steve laughed. "Yeah, pretty boring ain't it." I laughed. He looked up sharply at me from the stacks of candy he was organizing on the racks as a realization dawned on him. "Aren't you supposed to be at school right now?"

Now they were both looking accusingly at me. I laughed. "Supposed to, but I don't learn anything there anything. Not like the teachers care 'bout a poor old Greaser like me." I said. I looked over at Steve. "Plus, I just couldn't wait any longer to come see you." I joked, as I slid off the counter and went to kiss him on the cheek.

I turned around to see a pretend pouting Soda. I giggled softly and gave him a short peck, right on the lips. He laughed in victory as he looked at Steve. I shook my head and hopped back up onto my spot on the counter. I dug in my bag and pulled out my notebook, deciding I should at least be productive while here.

We talked for a while I worked on homework. Then, two girls came walking in. They were both incredibly skinny and had long legs, exaggerated by the wedged heels they were wearing. They both had on short skirts and tank tops on. One had long blonde hair that reached to the middle of her back. The other had jet black hair that was cropped short just above her shoulders. Both of them had too much makeup on, and were incredibly pretty, and you could tell, well taken care of in a sense. Not quite Soc's, but not Greasers. They were as close to Socs as you could get without being one. High Middle Class girls. Trouble.

They walked straight to the drink coolers on the wall. Pulling out two Cokes, they walked up to the counter. It wasn't hard to notice the forced hip swing or the way they never took their eyes off Soda.

Soda rang them up quickly, obviously catching onto their game. I figured from how unfazed he was by it that it happened a lot. The girls didn't seem to catch that Soda was uninterested or that I was shooting daggers at them.

The girl with the black hair bent down on the counter, letting everything hang loose, giving us a clear shot down her tank top. She watched her fingers as she started to draw designs on the counter with her manicured nails as they inched closer and closer to Soda's.

"So, Soda. I haven't seen you 'round town lately. Where 'ya been, babe?" She asked through her bright red lips. I scoffed at the comment and got a glare from her before she rolled her eyes and turned back to Soda, giving him the biggest flirty smile I've ever seen.

Soda smiled. "I've been...around." He said and shot me a grin. I hopped down from my perch on the counter and went to stand next to him. I took hold of his hand, snatching it farther away from the girl's fingers. I reached up and kissed him softly. I pulled away and just looked at the girl's. I gave them my most fake smile I could manage and tried to make the message clear that he was taken and they should back off.

Their mouths were hung open slightly and then they glared and childishly stormed away. I smiled in victory. I turned around to hop back on the counter when I saw Steve gaping at me. He shook his head and whistled lowly. "Wow. _Someone's_ feeling a bit possessive today." He laughed.

I shrugged and looked back at Soda. "Well. You are mine. And don't you forget that Sodapop Curtis." I said, laughing. I smiled at him, and he returned it with his signature crooked smile.

"I don't think I can. You won't let me. Not that I'd want to." He winked at me and walked over to kiss me.

Steve threw a bag of chips at us from where he was sorting things in the isles. "Ahh, get a room." He said, pretending to be grossed out.

We laughed against each others lips as we heard the the ding of someone entering the door. We pulled away quickly, but apparently not fast enough. It was Two-Bit and Ponyboy.

Johnny was with them too. He looked rough, and I suddenly understood why he hadn't been at school the past few days. He had many new bruises and cuts on his face that you just couldn't explain. No one would ask about it at school, they all knew about what happened, but we all knew Johnny was ashamed.

"So, I'm guessing my theory worked, eh Andrea?" Two-Bit piped up. I laughed out loud. I'd forgotten about that.

I blushed. "I suppose so." We continued to laugh as Soda looked at me confused. I shook my head at him.

"Well, we're here to come pick up Andrea." Two-Bit winked at us. "We all know Soda ain't getting any work done with her here, and I sure as heck ain't letting her walk home alone today." He said. I smiled at him. I loved how much these boys cared about me.

I nodded and gave Soda a quick kiss goodbye and headed out the door with Two-Bit, Johnny, and Ponyboy.

I fell into step with Johnny, who was lagging behind. He was looking at his feet as he kicked a rock around while walking. "You okay, Johnny?" I asked him quietly.

He shrugged, but I knew he wasn't. I reached my hand out and started to rub his back comfortingly. "It'll be okay, don't you worry." I said. I knew there wasn't anything we really could do, but heres to believing.

Pony caught our attention back. "Hey, Andrea. Who were those two girls who were coming out of the DX?" He asked and turned around to look at me.

Two-Bit followed suit, walking backwards. He laughed. "Man, they looked pissed!" He seemed very enthusiastic about this.

I laughed, partly embarrassed. "I was sitting on the counter, clearly talking with Soda when they came up and were flirting with him. Hard. They were bending all over and just letting everything hang out, if you know what I mean. Well, I didn't exactly appreciate that because they could clearly see that he and I were a thing so I hopped down and I rubbed it in their faces. It's as simple as that. I don't think they'll be back for a while." I said.

They all cracked up laughing. Two-Bit was barely standing straight when we walked in the house. "Oh, what I wouldn't give to see their faces!" Two-Bit howled.

I just plopped down on the couch and they did the same, turning on the t.v. "Trust me, it really wasn't interesting Two. They just stomped away pouting like little children. No big deal." I said. We all laughed.

Later, after everyone was home and we had eaten we got bored. Darry finally had Saturday off and we had to do something! We were sitting in the living room trying to decide on what to do.

"Why don't we go to the lake?" Ponyboy suggested from his spot on the floor next to Two-Bit. Eagerly, everyone agreed. I was hesitant though.

I hopped up from the couch I was sharing with Soda and Johnny. "Well, I gotta go get stuff from my house. I'll be back." I said.

Soda hopped up, starting to follow me. I turned to him. "Soda. Stay here. I'm going alone. I'll be fine. Rodney won't be there anyways. It's a Friday night." I said to him, giving him a look to let him know I was dead serious. I didn't want him or anyone come to my house, just in case my parents were fighting.

Soda had already told Darry that he wasn't letting me sleep at my house tonight, and everyone knew about what Rodney did to me.

Understanding, yet reluctant he slowly sat down. I walked through the door and in the direction to my house that was just a few blocks away. We all lived in a close area on this side of the tracks.

I took a deep breath as I walked up to the blue door on my small white house. I twisted the knob and quickly walked in, going straight to my room. I emptied my school bag and shoved in a pair of clothes and a swimsuit and grabbed my sunglasses before walking back out to the living room. Thankfully, neither my father or Rodney were home. But, my mother had been sitting at the kitchen table, writing something down.

Her head snapped up as I walked towards her. I had to at least tell her where I was going. She eyed my bag and a look of sadness crossed her face and she couldn't peel her eyes off it. "Mom, I'm not running away. Don't worry. I just gotta get out of here and away from Rodney for a day or two. I'll just be at Soda's tonight. We're going to the lake tomorrow." I reassured her.

She exhaled loudly. She really thought I was running. I bent down and hugged her tightly. "I love you, Mom." I said and stood back up and made my way towards the door.

"I love you too, Andrea. More than you'll ever know. Don't ever forget that." She said. I smiled. I knew how much she loved me, she didn't need to remind me.

"I know." I said as I walked out the door into the night. It was gorgeous. You could see every star in the sky and the moon was full and bright. I breathed in deeply, savoring the perfect smell of flowers and trees in the park. It was late Spring and the weather was starting to get hot, but tonight, the light wind made things the perfect temperature.

I was walking slowly, taking in the night. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. Then, I heard a loud snap and the shuffle of many pairs of feet behind me. I stopped cold in my tracks and didn't dare to turn around.

A deep voice spoke behind me, and I instantly knew who it was. "Been a while, hasn't it Andrea."

_I'm giving up on doing this alone now_

_Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how_

_He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there_

**A/N: OOOO.. cliffhanger! Who do you think it is? Let me know what you think about this! Please! I'll try to update as soon as possible. I won't leave you hanging for too long, I promise! ;) Hope you enjoyed! If not, let me know too!**


	8. Not Going Down Without A Fight

**A/N: Hello, Lovelies! Sorry about the long wait for an update! Time got away from me. I hope you all are still enjoying this story as much as I am! I have some big plans for this one...**

**I also just wanted to give a shout-out to Rachel. She has reviewed on almost every chapter and I can count on her to review soon after I post too! It really means a lot to me! So keep reviewing everybody!**

I flinched at the sound of his voice. I could only pray that this was a dream, closing my eyes tight in hopes to wake up. The familiar sound of his now flinty voice made me shiver.

Once I realized there was no way out of this situation I took a deep breath and slowly turned to face him. I crossed my arms across my chest and tried to hide the fear that was welling up inside me. "What do you want, Mason?" I asked, staring straight at him.

I saw now just who I was dealing with as they slowly began to form a half-circle around me, preventing me from escaping. He was with Tim Shepard and his gang. I felt something die inside me. Tim had gotten to everyone I'd ever cared about. He got to Rodney, which affected my entire family, and now he had Mason under his control.

I looked around, and sure enough, Rodney was standing there staring at me. Everything began to hit me. It was all real. Rodney was one of them, and I could see that there was no going back.

Mason was standing in line with the other six largely built boys. Tim Shepard, being the leader, was the first to step up. He got to close for my comfort and reached out a hand to touch my face. He lightly stroked my cheek and pushed a strand of hair back behind my ear. Then, he got real close and whispered in my ear. "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?"

I felt the heat of his breath on my skin as he gently kissed my neck. I couldn't move, I was so scared. I'd heard about incidents like this before happening to girls and bad things happened. Sometime they even got killed because they tried to run away. But, this was Tim Shepard. Not a Soc.

I was angry now. Angry that he would do that to me, and angry that Rodney and Mason just sat there watching.

Without even thinking, I followed my instincts. I threw my knee up hard and fast, right into where I knew it hurt and pushed him off me. I turned and tried to sprint as fast as I could towards the Curtis' house, but I tripped.

I fell flat on my face, and knowing they were after me, I went crazy. "Soda! Two-Bit! Pony! Anyone! Help!" I screamed over and over again, just praying that they would hear me and get here in time. I knew I'd made a mistake by trying to run, but what's done is done.

I clawed at the ground, hoping I had enough time to get up and running again, but I knew I was wrong. Someone grabbed my leg and flipped me over. It was Mason.

He came and sat down on my abdomen, putting an end to my hope of getting free. I was kicking and hitting and screaming for all I was worth. Then, I stopped when the blade he'd pulled out of his pocket caught the light of the street lamp.

It was long and menacing, and I knew he could kill me with one swipe of it. "Atta girl. You just be quiet now, Princess." He said, causing me to flinch at the sound of my old nickname. The tone of voice he used made my stomach do flips. It filled me with fear and I just couldn't move. I tried to hide it, but the tears defied me and were pouring down the side of my face.

I wanted so bad to scream, but I knew that'd be one of the last things I ever did. He wiped away the tears, his hand trembling. I knew he was drunk. His hands were always steady, and it just had a distinct smell that wasn't hard to pick up. The thought of what could happen made me whimper quietly.

He took the blade and pressed it firmly against my throat. I felt a small stream of blood travel down my neck slowly.

My eyes went wide and he just laughed and got real close, like Tim had not to long ago. I only noticed then that Tim and the rest of his gang were surrounding us, watching the show.

I shot a glance at Rodney. I saw everything I needed to see in his eyes. It spoke volumes without him even saying a word. _I can't stand to watch this and I wish I could do something, but you're not my family anymore. You're one of them now._ That's what I saw in his eyes.

Mason slowly started to kiss my jaw and began making his way down when the sounds of angry footsteps got closer and closer. Relief filled my mind as air filled my lungs. Mason was ripped from on top of me and I curled up, coughing. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until now.

I didn't trust myself to move. I could feel every part of me shaking. I tried to keep my eyes shut, knowing what was happening around me and just not wanting to see it. Even though they both left me, I didn't want to see Rodney or Mason get hurt, no matter how much they deserved it. But, I just couldn't not watch. I needed to see if someone was going to get hurt.

I scanned the lot, looking for familiar faces. Soda was sizing up to Mason, Two-Bit grabbed Rodney, Dally was against Tim, and everyone els just grabbed the nearest person.

I knew that the three match-ups were going to be the worst. They had fire under them. Tim and Dally had always been some form of enemy, and Dally would use every excuse to slug the kid.

Two-Bit matched Rodney about right. They were both tall and linky, but still strong. Two-Bit was a smidge taller than my brother, and a bit heavier. Rod didn't stand a chance. Two-Bit was still angry about my face, and I knew his threat from earlier was coming true. I only hoped he remembered to get in some punches for me.

The last match up was the one that worried me the most. Mason was a big dude. He was a few inches taller that six feet, and was broadly built. He had wide, strong shoulders, and a face that could cut you into pieces with one look.

Something touched my shoulder, causing me to jump. I thought it might be one of Tim's gang. "Hey, it's okay, Andrea. It's okay, you're safe now. It's me, Johnny. It's gonna be okay." He said, offering me a hand.

Still unsure, I took it. I still wasn't sure if this was real or just a dream. My legs barely held me and I threw my arm around Johnny's shoulders and we walked back to the house as fast as we could, which wasn't saying much.

I was still sobbing hysterically when we walked into the living room of the house and sat down on the couch. I knew I was safe now, but I just couldn't calm myself down. That was so scary. I'd never seen Mason like that, never thought he could or would do something like that.

Johnny left for the bathroom and came back with a wet towel. Carefully, he inched it towards my neck, wiping away blood that had dried, and some that was still falling. I had forgotten about that in my fear.

I smiled reassuringly at him. I was fine. He smiled half-heartedly back, and I could see the fear and worry in his eyes. I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, head in hands. I was still digesting all that had happened.

Johnny was rubbing my back soothingly as I got myself under control. I took a lot of deep breaths and finally calmed down a little. My breathing was back to normal, and most of the tears had stopped falling.

I wiped away my tears and tried to think happy thoughts. Thought about Soda. Then I realized they were all out there fighting Tim's gang. I hoped they were being safe and not getting hurt. I couldn't live with myself if any of those boys got hurt defending me.

I began pacing left and right, rambling on and on about being worried about my boys. Johnny was leaning against the wall, silently watching me. I could sense that he was worried too, but showed it in a different way.

Finally I had had enough of this waiting. I stomped harshly on the floor, making Johnny jump. "Thats it! I'm done with this! I can't do it anymore." I yelled and ran out he door and back to where my boys were fighting for me.

I cornered Rodney up against a tree, keeping at least three feet between us. He wasn't a smart kid when it came to fighting someone. One of the biggest rules was never to let yourself get cornered. Another was never to fight someone who you knew you couldn't beat. He'd ignored both rules.

He was shorter than I was, younger. I could see the fear in his eyes. I was pissed at this kid, and had waited to do this for a few days. Ever since Andrea came over all busted up. Now, I had another reason.

I saw him try to get himself together. His eyes hardened up and went cold and dark. "Two-Bit, is it?" He asked, straightening up and taking one small step towards me. I just kept my thumbs hitched in my pocket, loose. Ready to strike at the perfect moment.

His fist balled up as they hung by his side. His arms were tense, his whole body rigid. I stayed silent, calculating his next move, and then mine. "Well, I hope you're enjoying my _sister._ She's a real pain ain't she? She'll get real old, real fast, my friend. Don't believe her. She just uses what happened with Mason as a sob story to pull people in and _ruin_ them. He didn't do nothing to her. She made it all up. Man, she really is such a-" I didn't let him finish, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

I caught him off-guard when my fist flew out of my pocket and nailed him square in the nose. I felt his nose break underneath my hand as he fell to the ground. He reached up to his nose briefly, the blood gushing out of it.

I stood there, waiting for him to get up as I felt the adrenaline corse through my body. When he finally did get up I threw him up against the tree by the shoulders of his shirt. "You don't deserve to call her your sister. You're just a good for nothing piece of trash." I said through clenched teeth as I released him and stepped back.

I wanted him to come at me. Wanted to feel this rush. I wanted to see how hard he hit.

I got what I wanted. He rushed at me, a bad move. He threw a punch at my face that I didn't even try to block. It connected with my cheek and the momentum of it knocked me back a few steps.

It felt good. He had some power behind him. I knew he was going to put up a fight now. I advanced on him and we took turns throwing punches and kicks to each other. He ended up on the ground and I took the opportunity to kick him straight in the stomach as hard as I could. "That's for Andrea, you dirtbag." I screamed, daring him to counter. He didn't.

I scoffed in disgust and went to find my next victim when an ear shattering bang filled the air.

Tim was standing across from me, threateningly. Something in his eyes told me that he didn't want to do this, but I know that I sure did.

"Dally, why do you waste your time with these losers? You know you could do so much better if you just joined us." He said to me, making my blood boil. These boys were my family, always would be.

He was holding his switch in his hands, extended it out towards me. I knew he wouldn't use it against me unless he had to. I kept my fists dangling by my side. Tim and I had always had a rivalry between us. He had never understood why I hung out with my gang, but I didn't care.

He always was bashing on them, and I'd waited for this moment for a while. A fight where we weren't on the same side. I didn't want to fight Tim without a proper reason. Sure, I'd fight anyone else for saying one bad thing about the guys, but this was Tim Shepard.

I had a certain, twisted respect for him. He was good to keep on your side, useful when he needed to be. But, I couldn't let this pass by. He'd gone too far this time.

"You know what, Shepard? I think I'll pass. You ain't worth my time." I said, no emotion at all. He threw the first punch, knocking me backwards. I caught myself and recoiled hard.

It felt so good to hit him. We were matched pretty evenly. He was strong, but so was I. We both had fire behind us, a rage that just keeps building until you can't take it.

We continued fighting each other, until we realized that with stakes this even, no one was going to win.

He pulled out his switch again, and held it out, close to my skin. I just laughed. Tim didn't have it in him to stab me.

Confusion flashed through his eyes but he quickly covered all emotion except hatred. He didn't get a chance to react before I lifted up my shirt to reveal the heater in my waistband.

Fear and doubt filled his eyes as I pulled it out and raised it. "You should know better than to bring a knife to a gun-fight, Shepard." I said as I pulled the trigger.

Rage was filling me up to the brim as I stared at the burly boy who thought he could get away with trying to assault Andie. He would have to learn better, and fast. I wasn't thinking clearly.

I didn't stand a chance against him. He was taller than I was, and clearly he was stronger. He was broadly built and looked very threatening. The fury inside finally was too much to handle.

Without saying a word to him, I lurched for his face. I got in one good punch before he recovered. I could smell that he was wasted, his breath sure wasn't hiding it.

He grabbed me by the throat and forced me off him and too the ground. My breath escaped me and I started to see stars. I fought it, knowing what would happen if I didn't. I tried to get up, and thankfully he was so drunk and disoriented that I managed to do just that. I got out of his grasp, but he was just as fast.

He stood up, facing me. That's when I spotted the blade in his hands. I was defenseless. I had nothing but my bare hands to protect myself with.

He advanced on me and slashed a few times. I didn't feel it connect with me. Being drunk, he wasn't thinking straight. He gripped the blade in his hand and went for a punch. I tried to lean back as far as I could to dodge, but it wasn't far enough.  
I felt the blade cut into my cheek and the blood loosely begin to fall. My head was thrown to the right as he made contact. My hand flew up to my face instinctively and my crimson blood covered it.

I recoiled and came back swinging. I wasn't paying much attention as to where I was punching, just funneling the rage inside me and knowing I wanted to beat this kid until I couldn't anymore. No one messes with Sodapop Curtis' family.

A deadly bang rang through the air and I knew instantly it was a gun. My eyes shot over to Dally, the only one with a gun. That was a mistake.

The kid I was against began to panic and my distraction didn't help. I yelled out in extreme pain as I felt something sharp run straight through my abdomen, and I knew I had made a possibly fatal mistake.

Stars and darkness filled my vision as I felt myself fall to the ground. I heard a blood-curdling scream and I knew instantly that it was Andrea. I looked over at her shocked body. She couldn't move.

I was fading fast as she regained her composure and ran to my side, tears pouring down her face. She threw herself onto her knees beside me. She didn't know what to do. I focused on her face, trying to stay conscious. "Help!" She screamed over and over again as she cradled my head in her lap. She was raking the hair out of my face and bent down to kiss me softly.

"Soda, please. _Please_ don't leave me. I need you. I love you." She cried softly. That was the last thing I heard before the darkness pulled me under.

**A/N: ! What did you guys think? Will Soda die? What about Tim? What happened to Mason? Or Rodney? So many questions. Let me know what you thought. And as always, any advice is welcome!**


	9. Please Don't Leave Me

**A/N: Hey People! I'm so excited about this chapter! Bet you guys are wondering what happened to everybody...;) Well, here you go. Please Please Review please. This chapter is back in Andrea's POV.**

_I wish that you could see_

_All that's left of me_

_In this land of broken dreams_

_I still try to believe_

My legs carried me fast back to where I left the boys, and just like I thought, I didn't like what I saw. I saw Rodney crumpling to the ground underneath Two-Bit's fist. Ponyboy was holding his own-barely-against one of Tim's smaller boys. Pony wasn't big or strong, but he sure was fast.

Darry was easily pinning another one of Tim's to the ground and slugging him. I looked over just in time to see Tim Shepard himself pull out his switch-blade and hold it close to Dally. Surprisingly, Dally just laughed and pulled out a gun. I gasped as he pointed it in Tim's direction. He wouldn't really shoot him would he?

Vaguely, I heard him say something before he pulled the trigger. I gasped and was locked to my spot.

Everyone began to scatter at the sound of the shot, realizing the fuzz would show soon. My eyes remained locked on the two boys who were both still standing. Dally had missed! No. Dally wouldn't miss from point blank. He shot in another direction, demonstrating his power.

I exhaled as I searched for Soda. I spotted him just as Mason grabbed him by the shoulder and drove a blade into his stomach. Soda doubled over as Mason ripped it out and ran quickly in the other direction, following his gang.

Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion. Soda fell down screaming in agony, and a blood-curdling scream escaped my lips at what I just witnessed. I may have just witnessed a murder. A murder of the boy I'm madly in love with by the one my world used to revolve around. Funny how life works isn't it?

For a moment I couldn't move. No one moved. Then, I realized that every second we stand here motionless is another precious second that could be one of Soda's last. I bolted forward towards him.

The tears were pouring uncontrollably out of my eyes as I knelt by his side. I didn't know what to do, didn't know how to help. I finally settled on just cradling his head in my lap as I waited for help.

He gazed up at me, but I knew he couldn't see much. His eyes were glassy and tears were spilling out. I couldn't even give him a reassuring smile as I pushed the hair off his forehead and bent down to kiss his face. His eyes started to go distant and I knew we didn't have much time. "Help!" I screamed, hoping to break someone out of their trance.

The rest of the gang was soon surrounding us. I heard Darry's voice frantically command someone to call 911. It dawned on me that I may never get to have another conversation with Soda. Never feel his hand in mine, the feel of his lips or his warm embrace.

A horrible noise escaped me as I leaned close to Soda again. "Soda, please. _Please_ don't leave me. I need you. I love you." I pleaded with him. I cursed myself mentally for not telling him this earlier.

I felt his body go limp in my grasp and his eyes shut. I want to scream, but I know that won't get us anywhere. All we could do is sit and wait for help to come. Darry knelt down on the other side of Soda, in front of me.

Tearfully, I asked. "Is there anything we can do for him?" Darry looked up at me, tears starting to sprout in his eyes. I'd never seen Darry cry or even come close before, and that scared me.

He searched his mind for a moment before answering. "All I can think to do is to apply pressure. Ya know, to stop the bleeding." He said, seeming frantic over his brother.

I nodded as he quickly ripped his shirt off and balled it up, pressing it firmly to Soda's wound while I kept his limp head in my lap.

He was a scary sight. The loss of blood made his face incredibly pale, and the subtle light of the street lamp glowing on us made it worse. He had a large gash running diagonally on his face, from about his eye down to his chin. It was large and red. A harsh difference from his ghostly white skin.

My sobs fell into a sort of harmony with Two-Bit, Steve, and Dally's cursing and the quickly approaching sirens. The ambulance seemed to take forever, although it arrived within minutes of when Ponyboy and Johnny returned to us.

Two paramedics quickly hopped out and grabbed a stretcher out of the back of their truck and rushed over to us. They took Soda from my grasp and secured him onto the black gurney and put him in the back with two other paramedics.

We all just stood there watching this happen. It was the worst thing I'd ever had to watch in my life. They didn't even bother stopping to ask what happened or to invite one of us to ride with them. They could tell that he didn't have much time.

As we watched the ambulance drive away we all bolted back to the house and piled into Darry's truck and he drove us to the hospital as fast as we could. I was starting to go into panic mode, hyperventilating as Two-Bit, Steve, Johnny and I sat in the bed of the truck.

Two-Bit, who was sitting next to me, fidgeting with his fingers, placed a comforting hand on my knee. I glanced at him, my eyes not really focusing. I saw his mouth pull up into a sympathetic and understanding smile. He was just as scared as I was.

I looked around at the gang in the night sky. Johnny was sitting on the other side of the truck. He was curled up and hiding his head in his hands.

Steve was next to Johnny, cross-legged and breathing heavily. His face was blank, blocking out what was happening. Soda was Steve's best friend, and I knew this was hitting him hard too.

Soon we pulled up to the hospital parking lot and we all rushed in quickly. Darry led the way to the front desk as we all got frightened looks. I knew that we all looked rugged, but frankly I didn't care. "Hello. How may I help you?" The receptionist asked.

She looked awful nice, but she didn't look thrilled about being behind a desk. She looked to be in her mid-thirties, although you could plainly see laugh lines on her face. She was very pretty, with her deep brown hair and playful green eyes.

Out of breath, Darry answered, trying hard to keep his cool. "Sodapop Curtis? He was just rushed in on an emergency call?" He asked.

The lady at the desk nodded and checked her computer. After reading something, she gave us an update. "He is in critical condition right now, and is getting prepped for emergency surgery. You'll have to wait in the waiting area. I'll have a doctor come talk to you as soon as possible." She said with a sympathetic smile, knowing that's not what we wanted to hear.

Reluctantly, we all went to sit in the waiting area. There was only a couple sitting on one side of the room. They looked to be in their fifties or sixties. They looked ecstatic and were absolutely glowing. I figured they were having a grandchild on this warm night. I smiled briefly at the thought. Life was such a beautiful thing.

We sat down on the other end of the room and stayed in nervous silence for about an hour and a half. "It's all my fault." I whispered into my legs as I bent in half, too ashamed and scared to look at anything.

Someone placed a hand on shoulder. I sat up and saw Ponyboy's pleading eyes. He was crying too. He pulled me into a hug and we sat there crying into each other. "It's not your fault Andrea. You can't blame yourself for every bad thing that happens." He whispered into my ear.

That was something Soda would say, and that made me smile. I nodded into him, not bothering to argue. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I fired that gun, and it made that kid panic." Dally said from next to Darry. He rubbed his face in frustration.

Darry placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at all of us seriously. "No. It's no ones fault here. It could've happened at anytime. It's in the past so we just need to deal with it and stop blaming ourselves. We've gotta do what's best for Soda, and he wouldn't want this." He said, exasperated. We all nodded, knowing better than to argue with Superman.

"Family of Sodapop Curtis?" A doctor suddenly asked. He was standing in the entrance to the hallway looking at a clipboard.

All of our heads snapped towards him. Darry was the first to speak as he got up and made his way over. "Yes, Soda's my brother. I'm his legal guardian." Darry said.

The doctor and Darry spoke in hushed tones for a few minutes. I stared at Darry's face, trying to detect any emotion changes. He looked slightly relieved as he made his way back to us.

We all stared at him expectantly. "Soda's fine. The knife didn't go in too far, only about three inches. It punctured his stomach, but that was an easy fix. It was an easy surgery, but he lost a lot of blood. They put him on an antibiotic drip and he should be able to leave by tomorrow if everything checks out in the morning. He's going to start waking up soon, but we can only go see him one or two at a time. Don't want to overwhelm him." He said.

We all visibly released a huge sigh. He was okay. He was going to be just fine. We all looked around and hugged each other, as if it was some sort of accomplishment we had pulled off. We all knew it was Soda. He was too stubborn to die.

"So can we go see him now?" Ponyboy asked. The hope and joy in his eyes was contagious as he stared at Darry, who just nodded.

Darry and Ponyboy went back first and stayed for what felt like forever. I needed to see him. Needed to prove to myself that he really was okay. I had to grip the arms of the chair I was in to prevent myself from pacing.

My leg was shaking when Pony and Dar came back. Smiling and looking straight at me, Darry said. "He's asking for you. Better not keep him waiting." I hopped up, a little too fast.

My head started to rush. "Whoa." I said and the boys laughed as I bent down to grip the table until my vision came back.

When it did, I headed back to his room. I had to stop myself from running straight there and into his arms. I opened the door slowly. He looked over my way, and he honestly looked awful.

I hurriedly shut the door and threw myself into the chair that was pulled up to his bed. I immediately grabbed his hand. "Soda." I said softly as I took him in. He had too tiny band-aids on his face, keeping the long gash together. His shirt was off and his chest and stomach were wrapped in white bandages. I stared at them, scared to know what lies beneath.

His face was closer to its normal color than the last time I saw him. He gripped my hand tightly and then put two fingers under my chin and forced my eyes away from the bandages and up to his face.

He wiped away a few loose tears. "Andie, I'm fine. Don't you worry 'bout me." He said with a smile and grabbed my hand. I smiled and nodded.

I stood up and leaned forward to kiss him. He kissed me back sweetly. We pulled away and stared at each other. His eyes were a gorgeous chocolate brown and I never wanted to look away.

"This isn't your fault. You know that right?" He told me. He knew me so well. His eyes were scanning my face, as I felt it fall. I didn't know how he could see through me so easily.

I sighed and pulled back and sat back down in the armchair. I rubbed my face with my hand. Too many things were flying through my head right now. "Andie, look at me." Soda said, sensing that I wasn't prepared to answer that question.

I glanced up at him through the cracks in my fingers. His eyes were still searching my face, trying to decipher my mind. Not even possible. I don't think I could even sort through my thoughts right now.

"This wasn't your fault and you know it. I looked away for a split second too much. Don't you dare even blame yourself. There isn't anything to blame you for. It's not like you asked for that to happen. It's not like you killed anyone. I'm still here, ain't I? I'm alive and breathing and conscious. Don't make this more than it is, Andie. And don't blame yourself for any of it." He said seriously. He almost sounded on the brink of anger, and I didn't know why.

I couldn't even answer him. I just pulled my legs up into the green squishy chair and held them. I dropped my head onto my knees and tried not to start sobbing again. Taking a deep breath and letting out almost a harsh laugh. "Do you even know who that was, Soda?" I asked. My voice was close to accusing. Not at him, though. He did nothing wrong. He was just protecting me.

His forehead crinkled up like it does when he's confused. I had my answer. "Should I?" He asked innocently.

I chuckled softly. Rubbing my face again and taking a deep breath I answered him. "That was Mason, Soda. He came back for me. He's one of _them _now, though." I spewed. Venom was dripping from my words as I thought about Tim and his gang and their infuriating power to brainwash everyone I care about.

Soda was dumbfounded. His mouth was hung open and his eyes were wide. He wasn't expecting that. "Wh-w-what!" He exclaimed and cursed under his breath. "Should've hit him harder." He said, completely serious.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at him. He glanced back over at me. "That's what you're concerned about. That you didn't hit him hard enough. Not the fact that he's back and knows where I am and is actively hunting me down?" I said, sarcastically. Trying to get him realize what the real problem here was.

Mason wasn't the type to back down. He didn't stop until he got what he wanted, and right now, that was me. Now, he knew where to find me, and he knew how to hurt me. That was all he needed. Leverage.

His hand reached out for me and I willingly gave him my hand. He shook his head. "No, c'mere." He said and dragged me over to him. I could tell he wanted me to lay down beside him, but I knew that wasn't smart.

He saw me hesitate and gave me a slight smile. It melted my heart and made me realize just how much I needed him and wanted to be as close to him as I could. "You aren't gonna hurt me, c'mon." He said. Being extremely careful, I curled up beside him.

His nose crinkled in pain and I could tell he was holding in a hiss. I instantly started to stand back up, but he latched on to my arm and wouldn't let me go. "Soda." I pleaded with him. I didn't want to cause him anymore pain.

"No. I'm fine, Andie. I'm fine. I promise you." He said and flashed me a smile that melted all my resolve. Sighing, I let him pull me close again and he kissed my forehead.

I laughed slightly at him. "How do you do that?" I asked him.

"Do what?" He asked quietly. Curious and relaxed. The accusations and the anger had left both of our voices. He sounded content.

I shut my eyes and breathed him in. He didn't smell like him anymore. He smelled like antiseptics and bandages. You could vaguely make out the scent of blood and sweat, but they were very faint underneath the overwhelming hospital smell. But it still felt comforting to know that this indeed was Soda. _My_ Soda.

I fully relaxed myself into his form and listened to his heartbeat for a few moments, reminding myself that he was alive and breathing. And that he wasn't just a dream, a figment of my imagination. He was 100% real.

"You can melt all my resolve with just one look. You always make everything better. You tore down the walls that I had built so thick for so long, just with one touch. You make me laugh, even when all I want to do is cry. I always find myself smiling when you're around. You know how long it's been since I've truly smiled? Way too long. And you made it happen the first day we met. Just, how? How do you do it?" I asked.

I felt him laugh beneath me. "I guess we're just meant to me." He whispered, barely audible in my ear.

I felt my smile grow so big that I thought my face was going to tear right in to as I opened my eyes and lifted my head to look at him. His eyes were glowing, drawing me into them like moths to a flame. "I guess so." I whispered, just as quiet and closed the distance between us.

The kiss was sweet, absolutely no lust in it. Just pure love. I pulled away, smiling at him, and my eyes never left his. Without any hesitation or thought at all I said. "I love you, Sodapop Curtis."

His eyes got brighter and his smile broadened. I finally said it, and I wasn't scared at all. Not one single bit, and it felt utterly fantastic. "I love you too, Andrea Westbrook. Forever and always." He said. The truth in his voice and the way he said my name sent chills up my spine.

I smiled. "Forever and always." I agreed and closed the distance again.

_watch the rain fall clean from the heavens_

_As the skies part open I search for a sign_

_But I don't mind if you don't mind_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I did. And yes, Soda lived. I couldn't live with myself if I killed him. He's my favorite. Don't worry. I'm working on including everyone else more into this story, and they should show up more in the next few chapters. Please, Please, Please review! Good or Bad! Thanks!**


	10. Pieces I Can't Find

**A/N: Hey Y'all! I know it's taken me longer than normal to update lately and I'm sorry about that but I've just had a lot of stuff happening lately. However, I am really dissapointed. I only got 2 reviews on the last chapter. That really makes me sad, because I feel like I deserve more than that. Because of that I've decided I'm not going to post until I get at least five or more reviews on each upcoming chapter, including this one. So please, please, please review.**

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore  
_

Soda was released from the hospital the next day and I spent the whole week at his house, not even bothering to go back home. I knew I really should, my Mom will be worried, but frankly, Soda needed me more. I needed him.

We postponed the lake trip until the next Saturday, and it was much needed. We all needed to get away for a while.

It was a beautiful day outside. Not a cloud in the crystal blue sky. The sun was pounding with heat, but Soda and I stayed out on the sidelines for a while. His doctor told him to take it easy for a week or two until the wound completely heals. I knew Two-Bit and Ponyboy wouldn't let me stay out forever, so I was wearing my swim-suit underneath my shorts and t-shirt.

Around noon, Two-Bit got tired of waiting for me. "Andrea! Get your skinny little butt down there in the water! Now! I ain't waiting anymore!" He yelled as he dragged me out of my chair.

I laughed and stopped once he had me standing. "Okay, okay, I'm coming. Just give me a second." I quickly pulled my dark dirty blonde hair into a ponytail and took off my shirt and shorts. I leaned down and gave Soda a quick kiss before running down to the dock.

I was standing on the edge of the dock deciding to stand here for a while and tease the boys in the water below. They tried to jump up and grab my ankles and drag me in, but it didn't work. I just jumped back before they could get hold of me.

Then, the boys stopped fighting and trying to coax me in the water and just laughed as they looked behind me. Wondering what was had changed, I turned around.

Soda was running full speed at me. He had yanked his shirt off and had just his board shorts on. Before I could do anything, he tackled me into the water. I screamed and got a mouth full of water in return.

Soda didn't let me out of his strong grasp as we floated back to the surface. I coughed slightly, trying to get the water out of my lungs and fought against him to get away.

They were all laughing at me, and I couldn't help but giggle myself. Finally Soda loosed just enough for me to turn around and free my arms. Once I did he squeezed back tight again. Shaking my head I playfully hit his chest and then wrapped my arms around his neck. "That wasn't very nice." I whined, pouting.

Knowing I was joking he laughed. He gave me a mock sympathetic look. "I'm sorry. Here. Let me make it better." He said sarcastically. He pulled me in close for a kiss. There were hoots and whistles from behind us and we smiled against each other lips and pulled away.

"Hey. Didn't the doctor tell you to take it easy? Ya know, not too much physical exertion?" I asked him, cocking an eyebrow like Two-Bit taught me.

He laughed again and flashed me his superstar smile. "Eh, that was more of a suggestion. Besides, rules are made to be broken. You of all people should know that." He winked at me.

I shook my head and leaned in for another kiss. "You're rotten, Soda. You know that?" I said.

He shrugged. "I try." He said. I laughed and peeled myself away from him. I looked over to where the rest of the boys had turned their attention to each other and were wrestling in the water.

I turned around and winked at Soda and motioned for him to follow me and to be quiet. He nodded and slowly we made our way over to them. Two-Bit had just popped his head up out of the water after escaping from Steve's grasp.

His back was turned to us and he was yelling something about the fight not being fair. Steve caught sight of me and I waved my hand around my neck, letting him know to act natural. Quietly I snuck up as close as I could behind Two and then I made my move. While he was in the middle of yelling something I jumped up and placed one hand on each of his shoulders and forced him down hard and fast.

His head completely submerged under the water. Coughing, he bolted out of the water, flinging his hair out of his eyes. He flipped around to find me laughing my head off.

He gave me a pretend scowl and then it quickly melted into a mischievous grin. I knew he was about to attack me, so slowly I swam backwards. He followed me slowly, waiting for the perfect moment. Then, I ran into something sturdy. It was Soda.

I turned around and latched on to Soda, hoping he would save me. I couldn't help but giggle, knowing what was about to happen. Soda looked down and gave me the same kind of smile Two-Bit had. "Oh, no." I said, realizing he wasn't going to help me and started frantically swimming in the other direction as fast as I could, gaining some good distance between me and them.

"No you don't." Someone said behind me. They grabbed my ankle and yanked hard causing me to flip around and come back towards them. It was Dally. He had witnessed everything that just happened, and unfortunately, I had swam right in his reach.

He reeled me in and locked his arms around my stomach. Not in the sweet way that Soda did, but in the kind of way that meant that torment was coming. Like a pesky brother, which really is what he was to me now. He laughed evilly as I flailed.

As I struggled his arms didn't budge. Like steel pipes. My thrashing caused my swim-suit top started to glide up. His arms brushed against my stomach and I saw a look of shock cross his face and his grip briefly loosened. When I looked up at him he shot me a questioning look and I shook my head, knowing he knew what he had felt.

Before he could question me more, the rest of the gang was there. Both of us covered our emotion like we both knew how to do so well and I looked at the gang and continued laughing. They were looking at me like I was some sort of prey.

They all looked at each other, nodding and then looked at me. They all came foreword quickly and I threw myself under the water, hoping to get out of Dally's grasp and swim away.

I managed to get out of Dally's grasp, but didn't escape from the boys attack. Two-Bit grabbed my waist and pulled me back to him. He leaned into my ear. "You think you can get away with that easily?" He laughed and he forced me back under the water. I started to kick as hard as I could. He had my arms in his grasp.

He held me under for a long time. Then, I started to kick slower, growing tired, and then I went completely limp. Stopped moving entirely. I heard their laughs stop as Two lifted me back up quickly. I opened my eyes and kicked away from him.

Their faces were priceless. They looked as if they'd seen a ghost. It took them a minute, but then they all sighed. Two-Bit shot me a glare. Soda wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. "Now, _that_ really wasn't very nice." He said to me like I was a child. Spitting my words back at me.

Two-Bit sighed again and looked around and then back at me. "Man, Andrea. Don't do stuff like that! I thought I killed you!" He said, serious, but laughing at the same time.

I laughed at him and leaned back into Soda and put my hands over his. "You probably would've if I hadn't made you let me go. Besides, I wouldn't have died. I'd just have blacked out, unless you kept me under a lot longer, which you proved you wouldn't have. I would've been fine." I told him matter-of-factly.

He stuck his tongue out at me childishly and splashed water at me and Soda. "Still wasn't nice." He mumbled under his breath, knowing I was right. I giggled at him and Soda kissed the back of my head.

"Guys! The burgers are ready! Come get 'em!" Darry yelled from where he was grilling things.

We all rushed out of the water and over to the table where everything was laid out. I didn't even dry off. I knew if I took that time, all the food would be gone so I had to get up there first so I knew I had something to eat.

I loaded my burger and got some chips and whatnot and went back to the lawn chair next to Soda's. I set my plate in my chair and dried off then sat back down and waited for Soda to return.

"So you gonna make me beg for answers?" Someone said to the right of me. I looked up to see Dally sit himself in the chair next to me, a plate of food in one hand and a beer in the other.

I sighed and glanced over at the line that was forming for food. Soda was messing with Darry and I knew he would be a while. I brought my attention back to Dally who was getting settled but obviously still waiting for an answer. "It's nothing, Dal. Trust me." I said, and took a bite of my burger.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "You're an awful liar. You think I don't know what those were? No, _you _trust _me._ I've slept with plenty of girls who've hated themselves so much that they went that far. I'm not oblivious like everyone else." He said, not taking his eyes off me.

I was taken back. I didn't really need to know how he knew. I looked away and rubbed my face like I do when I get frustrated. "It was a long time ago, Dally. A stupid mistake. Just forget about it okay?" I said quickly, wanting this conversation to be over.

Thankfully, Soda began to walk our way with a plate full of food. Dally saw it too. He looked at me sternly. "We aren't done with this conversation. Got it?" I sighed and nodded and put a fake smile on my face, pretending that conversation didn't happen.

Soda looked between the two of us suspiciously then gave me a confused look. Dally wasn't even paying attention to him, just burying his face in his burger. Slowly Soda sat down and stared at me. I dropped the fake smile, knowing he didn't buy it.

_What's wrong?_ He mouthed. I shook my head, not wanting to get into it. I went back to my food, avoiding eye contact with either of them.

He touched my arm, making me look at him. He shot a sharp glance at Dally, questioningly. I shook my head again, knowing it wasn't Dally's fault.

He sighed, knowing he wasn't getting anything out of me. The rest of our lunch was filled with awkward silence between the three of us. Occasionally we would laugh at others, but mostly we kept to ourselves.

Soon, I got tired of it all and I got up. I threw away my trash and threw my shorts and shirt on and walked over by the trees, hoping to find a trail or something. I shot Dallas a look as I left, telling him to follow me. Quickly, he followed my lead.

I felt everyone's eyes on us as we walked to the forest, but I didn't turn around. Once we were behind the cover of trees I stopped and turned to him. "Okay, spill." He said.

I sighed, not exactly sure how to explain this. "Okay, but I'm only telling you this one and I swear if you tell anyone, you won't live to see another day, got me?" I threatened. He gave me a smirk and nodded. We both knew I couldn't do any harm to him.

"It was a couple months ago. I was going through something really, really tough, and one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I guess I'd...heard...about ways to make pain to go away, I suppose. I drank until I couldn't see straight. I got a hold of a blade and I locked myself in the bathroom. I was sobbing the entire time, and I haven't looked at a blade since. Like I told you. No big deal." I said quickly. I started to tear up thinking about it. It was an awful memory.

_ I walked into Buck's house. I just had to get everything off my mind, and I'd heard this was the place. _

_ You could smell everything that was happening in here, nothing was hidden. Sweat and beer were the most prominent. You could hear everything that was going on upstairs, and I mean _everything_. I ignored that and went straight to the fridge and pulled out a beer. I planned on just having one, but that grew into two, then three, than too many to count._

_ Everything was a haze. I couldn't tell people apart from furniture. All that had been happening was still the only thing I could think about, even in this drunken stage. _

_ I stumbled to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I let myself fall to my knees and crawled my way over across from the toilet. It smelt awful in here, but I didn't really care at this point. Whatever it would take to get this to go away, I would do it. _

_ My fingers fumbled around until they found their way into my pocket. Shakily, I pulled out the small pocket knife I had found earlier. The reflection of light off the blade was blinding as I unfold it. _

_ I had already planned out where to do it, a place where no one would see them. I lifted up my shirt and pushed the blade against my bare stomach. I took a deep breath and jerked the knife to the side, ripping a tear in my skin. I had to restrain myself from screaming. I hadn't expected it to hurt so bad, but to feel so good at the same time. _

_ Tears started pouring uncontrollably from my eyes as over and over I sliced at my stomach. Soon my skin was raw and painful. It was bleeding slightly, but not to bad. I hadn't cut too deep. _

_ I leaned my head back against the wall and took deep breaths. I felt better, but I felt guilty at the same time. Isn't this what I was upset about in the first place. This is exactly what Mason was doing and I'd told him I don't know how many times that I was disgusted by it and would never do it. _

_ I threw the knife at the wall, disgusted with myself. I pulled my shirt down and grabbed the counter and dragged myself to my feet. Still stumbling, I made my way out. I couldn't be here anymore, it would ruin me. To afraid to go home like this, I slept in the park that night._

Dally put one hand on each shoulder and looked in my eyes, trying to judge if I was telling him the truth. Tearfully, I stared back into his. "You sure you're clean? You're okay?" He asked softly.

Not so sure I was okay, but sure I wasn't going to ever do it again, I nodded. Just then, Soda came through the trees. He stopped when he saw sight of me. I met his gaze for a moment before I sunk down to the ground, not wanting him to know about this. It was just another painful memory I was ashamed of.

I curled my legs up to me and sobbed into my hands. I heard the boys talking, but I couldn't understand them through my crying. Arms soon wrapped around me and pulled me close. "What wrong, Andie?" Soda whispered into my ear.

That meant he didn't know. Dally didn't tell him. I was thankful for that. I shook my head. "I'm fine, So. Really." I pulled away from his arms, taking a deep breath and wiping away my tears.

I finally got the tears to stop flowing so much, but I still couldn't look at Soda. I just stared at my hands and fiddled with my fingers in my lap. He put a gentle hand on my chin and made me look at him. "You're an awful liar." He said, chuckling softly.

I looked at him and gave him a weak smile as the waterworks started up again. His eyes were laced with worry and anger. Anger at whatever was making me do this. He reached out slowly and put his hand on my cheek. Ashamed, I looked away, pulling away from his hand.

I didn't want him to see me like this. I was tired of my past ruling over me, haunting my every thought. I was tired of crying. That's all Soda's seen of me it seemed like.

I didn't want him to comfort me right now. Somewhere deep down I wanted him to yell at me, to tell me to get it together, to just stop. But I knew he wasn't going to.

"Andie?" Soda asked. He sounded hurt, and I know that it was because I was pulling away and retreating in myself. I vaguely wondered if he thought this had to do with Dally. Did he think something more was going on between us?

"Soda, I just don't want to talk about it, okay. And I'd kinda like to be alone right now." I said quietly, exhausted from everything. To tired to deal with anything.

He was silent for a moment and I saw his hand drop. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me, and I could see something stirring up inside him. Did he think I was rejecting him again?

He just nodded slowly and got up with out a word. Once he walked out of the trees I started sobbing again and leaned back up against the tree. I was just so tired of trying to be strong.

The sobs eventually stopped pouring from my eyes and I knew I'd have to go back out there eventually. They would all be worried about me. I knew I had to fix things with Soda. Man, we sure were fragile when it came to feelings sometimes.

I took a deep breath and rubbed the remnants of tears away from my face. I walked out of my green hideaway and made my way to where the boys were sitting in a big circle of lawn chairs. Everyone was there. Except Soda.

Two-Bit saw me first and he stopped. He breathed out in relief and the rest of the boys did the same when they saw me. I gave a sheepish wave and Two-Bit gave me a sympathetic look and pointed to the dock subtly. I gave him a small nod and walked over to the dock.

Soda was sitting on the end of it, staring into the water and dangling his feet. I hesitated for a moment when I saw him. I didn't know what to say to him. I was scared to see his face, to hear the hurt in his voice.

I took a deep breath and walked the rest of the way to him, plopping myself down beside him. I made sure to leave a little space between us, though. I hung my feet over the edge and played with my fingers in my lap. I stared intently at them, as if they were going to give me the words to say what I needed to.

We sat in uncomfortable silence for a minute or two. The un-surety going through each out our minds was nearly palpable.

Getting tired of the silence, Soda spoke up. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. He picked his head up but looked away from me, gazing into the trees. I stared at his face. He knew what happened.

Shock and confusion must have been on my face because when he finally looked at me he let out a sharp laugh, and it almost was a sound of disgust. I felt a pang of hurt hit my heart at the look he gave me. "Do you really think I wouldn't have found out? I basically had to get down on my knees and beg Dallas to tell me what happened. He sure got a kick out of that." He scoffed. "Dallas! Of all people. Dallas Winston! You can tell Dally this, but you can't find the words, or the _decency_ to tell me? Your own boyfriend?" He sounded angry. He had a right to be, I suppose. I'd be angry too if I were him. It's not exactly a small secret.

Now it was my turn to look away. I felt a stray tear fall down my cheek. I felt a pain in my heart that I couldn't describe. I'd ruined yet another relationship. All because I can't figure out my emotions. Can't figure out myself. I ruined it with Mason for being too outright with what I thought, and know with Soda because I couldn't say anything that crossed my mind.

I wanted nothing more than for us just to go back to how we were this morning. Happy together. Nothing could rip us apart.

"I'm sorry, Soda. I know I should've told you but, I'm just ashamed of it. It's not something I like to talk about. It scares me to think that I could do something like that, and I just don't want you to see me like this. I don't want you to know how broken I really am. What happened with Mason just tore down everything I was, and I can't find the pieces to put myself back together." I said, barely a whisper, but I knew he heard me.

He didn't answer. I put my head in my hands and tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall. I wasn't going to cry today again. I've done enough. "I just can't stop making a mess of everything." I said to myself.

He sighed beside me and put a hand on my back, rubbing it slowly. "Hey. Hey, don't think like that." He said softly. I could hear the pleading in his voice, for me to believe I was wrong, and to come back to him.

Hesitantly, he pulled me to him. I more than willingly did. His familiar warmth radiated as he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and focused on his scent. I didn't even know what he smelled like exactly, a smell unique to him. That's what I loved about it. It was all Soda.

He rocked me barely and buried his head in my hair. He kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten so worked up. It's just that..I just...I don't know. I just love you so much, Andrea. And I guess I just thought that you trusted Dally more than me and that scared me. For some irrational reason I thought that something more was going on and it just kinda got me...worked up, I guess. It was stupid, and I overreacted. I'm sorry." He said.

I pulled away, just enough to look at his face. "It's not stupid. It makes sense. I'm sorry I made it seem that way. I can promise you one hundred percent that nothing's going on between Dal and I, and that I absolutely trust you without a doubt in my mind. I didn't want to tell him, but he just wouldn't leave me alone about it." I said, looking into his eyes. He was so gorgeous.

The sun was casting shadows on his face and his hair seemed to be glowing in the light. I realized just how hopelessly in love I was with him. A wide smile played across my lips.

"What?" He asked, innocently. He couldn't understand why I was smiling all of a sudden when I had been so near tears a second ago.

I closed some distance between us and put my forehead against his. "Has anyone ever told you that you're cute when you're flustered?" I laughed and closed the rest of the distance, pressing my lips to his.

It was a sweet kiss. Both of us letting each other know just how much we needed the other. He pulled away too soon. "I don't think you understand how much I love you." He said and stared straight into my eyes.

I smiled mischievously at him. "Try me." I winked and closed the distance again. We kissed as the sun began to set behind us, leading us into the cold of night, but I knew we'd find a way to stay warm. Together.

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm pretty sure it is the longest so far. Let me know, good or bad. I need at least five to post the next chapter. Please! **

**Anyways, I know I told you guys in a previous chapter that what happened with Mason and Andrea happened to me, but I just want to let you know that it is still true, however, I didn't do what Andrea did to herself. Let me know what you thought about this chapter. I'm trying to add more influence of different characters as I go along, and this chapter was really the introduction of Dally. Hope you like it! Let me know!**


	11. PLEASE READ

**Hey Y'all! I just wanted to let you guys know that I already have the next pretty much two or three chapters written but...I'm still waiting to get five whole reviews on the previews chapter. I have two, from the only two people who actually seem to review..ever...so I still need three more! I have over 1,500 views on this story, and over 63 on the last chapter alone so I know people are continuing to read my story, but can only count on two or three people to review for every chapter: Rachel and DauntlessProdigy04. So thanks to you two, but everyone else: step up your game please! I'm near begging over here! Please just let me know! I really honestly don't care if it's bad, just as long as you don't completely tear me apart, but if you need to do so, please do. I love criticism! It lets me know you guys are really invested in this story! So please please please please with a cherry on top and the whole shabang, just please review, just three more. At least one person review and I might post the next chapter. I'm getting desperate. Just please help me out!**


	12. Scars Reopened

**A/N: Hey guys! I finally got those 5 reviews. I actually got more than that and I'm stoked! Keep it up I'm begging you! So, as promised, here is you're new chapter. Kinda slow, but the next few chapters will make up for it majorly, I promise. It's gonna get really intense, really fast, so please keep reviewing. I'm still gonna wait till I get 3-5 reviews to post the next chapter!**

The sun had all but disappeared when Darry called. "Hey! Love-birds, time to go!" You could practically hear his smile in his voice.

I groaned. They just couldn't resist could they? Goodness! They're such children sometimes. Soda and I got up and walked back to the group, fingers still laced together. Not letting go anytime soon.

Two-Bit saw our hand and gave me a creeper kinda look, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "Gosh, Two-Bit, you're so weird. Don't do that. You're freaking me out." I whined and pushed on his shoulder. He just laughed evilly. Thank goodness Soda didn't see that. That would've made things even more awkward. Soda and I wouldn't get to that for a long time. Neither of us would feel comfortable, especially with what almost happened last night with Mason.

"What was that about?" Soda asked me. I laid my head on his shoulder as we walked to Darry's truck swinging our hands.

I smiled, happy to just spend time with the boy I loved. "Nothing. Just Two-Bit being...well...Two-Bit." I said and laughed. There was just no way to explain him. I was in a surprisingly good mood all of a sudden. After I got all of it all just off my chest, and now I knew just how much this boy loved me, and how much I loved him.

He laughed at me and kissed my head. "Has anyone told you how great your laugh is?" He asked out of the blue.

He helped me hop up into the bed of the truck and climbed up after me. I looked at him skeptically as we sat down against the back of the cab. "No...why?" I answered slowly.

He started to play with my fingers. "That's a real shame. Because it really is one of the best laughs I've ever heard." He said.

I laughed again. "I think you might be just saying that. I mean, you're kind of obligated to say that." I said and started to study his face like I do so often. His golden hair was in an almost organized mess. His tanned skin blending well with his soft smile and chocolate brown eyes.

He laughed, almost nervously and met my stare. "No. I'm being completely serious! Its like...like...like the melody of a flowing river in the spring." He joked.

I laughed out loud, only making him smile bigger. "Oh my gosh! Where did you get that from? That is the cheesiest thing I've ever heard!" I laughed.

He laughed too and threw his arm over my shoulders and pulled me close. "I thought you liked cheese!" He joked in mock hurt and winked at me.

I laughed at his face. "Yeah, well, only certain kinds." I said and closed the distance to give him a quick peck on the lips.

He smiled at me when I pulled away. "It worked didn't it?" He gave me a victory smile.

I just smiled at him and laid my head back down on his shoulder, shaking my head. Two-Bit and Steve hopped up in the back with us then, while everyone else jumped into the cab of the truck. I didn't even bother to answer Soda. I mean, what do you say to something like that.

As Darry drove away I watched the setting sun fall below the water get covered by lines of trees. The biting wind from the moving car and the night made me cold. I nestled further into Soda and his arm just tightened around me as he placed his other arm on the edge of the truck bed, apparently not bothered by the bitter cold.

Two-Bit and Steve didn't seem bothered by it either as they sat against the tailgate, the wind going directly in their faces. I laughed at myself. I felt like a wimp for being so cold, but oh freaking well.

"So, lovebirds. What are you gonna name your kids?" Two-Bit asked out of the blue. He was looking at us with that characteristic smile of his. He wouldn't stop calling 'lovebirds.' No one would. Not even when we weren't together. It was starting to get annoying, but we had to live with it.

I was shocked. Why on earth would he ask something like that? We both must've looked shocked because Steve and Two-Bit began laughing really hard. "Wha-What? Why would ask something like that?" I stumbled over my words as I spoke.

He just laughed harder. "Aww come on. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it yet! I mean, seriously! You guys have been official for what, almost two weeks now!" Steve said from the other side of the truck bed.

Steve squirmed to get away as I tried to kick him from where I was sitting. I was trying to stay close to Soda because I was still freezing, but that just made it easy for Steve to escape me.

"You guys just won't let us be will ya?" I asked dramatically. They didn't answer, just went on laughing.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Soda. He was staring at his feet, a smile on his face. Not one of his normal beautiful smiles, but one that showed he clearly was not comfortable with this topic.

I could sense that he wasn't happy, and I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with Sandy. How she left him. Kid on the way. I knew that scar was just as knew and big to him as Mason was to me.

I reached up with my right hand and laced it through his fingers that were dangling off my shoulder. I looked to my left and I was about level with his ear. "Forever and always." I whispered, so only he would hear.

He instantly perked up. He lifted his head and looked at me. He smiled and pulled me closer, kissing my head. "Forever and always." He said back. I smiled and cuddled into him.

We pulled up into the Curtis' driveway a little while later. The engine died and the silence filled the air. The air was brisk and the night was dark as we all hopped out of the truck. Soda never let go of my hand as we jumped to the ground.

We walked into the house after we gathered up our things and immediately everyone began to argue who go the first shower. I'm not gonna lie, we all smelt pretty bad. Darry won that argument, considering it was his house, and he was the oldest, and no one really wanted to argue with Superman.

While we waited, Steve suggested we play cards. Reluctantly, I agreed. I didn't know how to play poker, which was what they always played. But, I was outnumbered, and Soda promised to help me. I knew he was the only one who would. Everyone else would use my limited knowledge to their advantage.

Settling on the couch, Ponyboy broke out the cards and started shuffling and dealing. Soda, Johnny, and I were all crammed on the couch, while Pony was lounging in Darry's armchair and Two-Bit, Dally and Steve were perched on the floor around the coffee table.

We all looked at our cards and I pretended to look confident as Soda attempted to explain the game and helped me sort my cards. He explained to me the ten different hands I could have and how to get them and which would beat which. I just smiled and nodded my head, not remembering any of this.

The game was full of losing and laughing at my clueless self. When Soda left to get a shower, I was left defenseless. I tried to play by myself, and I did pretty good. Or at least I thought I was doing good. About twenty minutes later I had put everything in, and lost it all. I gave up.

I spent a few minutes just watching them. I caught Steve trying to cheat a few times, and I called him out, ruining his fun. But it got him to stop. He kept glaring playfully at me though, while I just laughed right back.

Soon, I got bored of watching them argue. I looked at the clock in the kitchen. Soda had been gone for about forty-minutes. No one takes that long to shower. I'm a girl, I would know. I listened for the water and didn't hear any.

I slipped away unnoticed by the arguing boys and went to Soda and Ponyboy's room. Knocking faintly at the door, I called to him. "So? It's me. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, it's open." I heard his voice reply.

I creaked the door open carefully and slipped in, shutting it behind me. He was standing across the room, his back to me and hunched over his dresser. I could see him in the mirror in front of him. He was looking down at something on the wooden surface. All I could really see was his blonde hair hanging all wildly all over the place. He was wearing one of his white undershirts and a pair of black sweat pants.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I laid my head against his back and breathed him in. He smelled fresh, smelled like him. When he didn't react at all I got worried. "You okay?" I asked him softly.

I felt him shake his head. Curious as to what he was looking at, I slid myself around to his side, looking at him questioningly. He didn't look up from the dresser as he slid what he was looking at towards me, but I was still fixed on his face, worried.

"The anniversary of their death is tomorrow. It'll be two years." He said quietly and slowly. I finally looked down at what he slid to me. I unraveled myself from him and picked it up to get a better view of it. It was a picture in a dark brown wooden frame.

I knew it was a picture of his parents. His mother had beautiful deep blue eyes. They were the color of the Caribbean Sea. She had the same dark gold hair that Soda had, and was absolutely stunning. She had a big smile on her face as she gazed into her husband's eyes, their foreheads pressed together. She looked young and filled with life.

His father seemed to be a complete opposite feature wise of his wife, but they fit together perfectly. He had Darry and Pony's brownish-red hair with a small cowlick in the back. His eyes matched Soda's but were a little darker. He had a great smile, and it wasn't hard to see where the Curtis boys got their good looks from. With parents like that, there was no way you couldn't be gorgeous.

I felt tears start to spring in my eyes as I set the picture down and looked back at his face. He was still stuck in the same spot I left him. Arms outstretched and gripping the dresser like it was the only thing holding him on his feet.

I put my hand on his shoulder and pulled him into my arms. We just stood in each others embrace for a few long moments. His breathing kept getting deeper and I knew he was holding back tears. "Hey. It's okay to cry, Soda. It's okay." I whispered as I rubbed his back. He shouldn't be holding this all in. Granted, I wasn't one to talk, but I know how bad it hurts to try and ignore it. You gotta let it out sometime.

I felt sobs staring to come out of him and I led him to his bed and sat him down. For some reason, it seems easier to cry while sitting down. It didn't make sense to me, but I knew it from experience.

I cradled him in my arms and rocked him back and forth carefully, shushing him like he had done to me so many times before.

I tried to hold back my own tears as I held him. It tore me apart to see him like this. I instantly felt guilty. This must be what he feels like all the time around me. I made a promise to myself not to cry for a really long time, but I knew eventually that would be broken. All my promises to myself are.

His tears started to slow but I still held him. He sat up out of my arms and ran a hand through his hair, trying to get a grip. "Sorry, about that." He apologized quietly as he leaned his head back on his headboard and shut his eyes.

"Don't apologize, So. I don't mind. You've had to do the same thing for me multiple times. I owe you. Besides, it's a big deal. You lost your parents so fast. Anyone would lose their mind." I reassured him.

He opened his eyes and put a weak smile on his tear stained face. "They would've liked you." He said and put his arm around me and pulled me close. Well, he got happy fast.

I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest. I began to slowly draw circles on his chest. "I'm sure I would've loved them just as much." I told him. This is the first time he's ever mentioned them to me, and I didn't want him to stop. I hesitated slightly before asking. "Tell me more about them."

He gave a small sigh, anticipating my question. "Where to begin? Well, I guess the beginning. They met in high school. She was middle class, and he was a Greaser. They never really got the chance to meet before. They were in one of their science classes, chemistry, I think, and they got paired together as partners for an assignment. They said that it was love at first sight, but they were always exaggerating things.

"Well, they started didn't hang out a whole lot outside of school, due to his gang. They didn't exactly like that she wasn't a Greaser girl, but they never really said anything or stopped him from seeing her. But he knew. He didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable and didn't want his gang to turn against him, but he couldn't stay away from her forever either. She ate lunch with them every day, and they managed to sit together in the classes they had with each other.

"Then, high school ended. They got married not too long after. After about two years, they had Darry, then me, then Ponyboy. Mom was a teacher for the younger grades. She taught first and second grade, depending on the year, and she absolutely loved it. She was such a free-spirit. It wasn't hard to see why my Dad fell for her. She was always smiling. She always made everything better. You and her would get along really well. You'd be like the daughter she never got."

He stopped and smiled at me. She sounded just like him, and I wish I had met her. When I didn't say anything he kept going. "Dad was similar. I guess that's why they worked so well. He was more laid back though, but he sure was fun. He was one of those guys that you want on your side because he's so nice and lovable but if you threatened or insulted him, his family, or anyone he cared about, you'd regret it." He laughed slightly, probably at a memory, and continued.

"He worked in the hospital as a doctor. He was real good to. Was working his way up and was pretty close to the top and close to being the most asked for doctor in Tulsa when they died." He got quiet. Knowing he was fighting tears, I gave him a small smile to cheer him up a little. It worked as he went on.

"He's the person who got me into cars. The owner of the DX was one of his old buddies, and Dad occasionally worked there when they were shot-staffed. He'd take Darry and I down there when he went, and we just worked on the cars that were there. He taught me everything I know. Darry and him made plans to open up their own shop when Darry graduated. They had it all worked out. But now, it doesn't even sound possible." He took a deep breath and changed the subject slightly.

"Anyways, we usually went to the DX everyday my Dad had a day off. Sometimes Pony would come too, but he was never really interested in stuff like that. He's always had his nose stuck in those books a' his. Guess he got that from Mom. They'd always hang out when Dad took Darry and I to the DX. I'm not sure what they would do, but they were aways really close, so it really doesn't matter. Maybe I'l ask him one day, when it don't hurt so bad." He stopped, and I knew he was hurting.

I slid my arm out from under his body and propped myself up on my elbow. I reached up and ran my fingers through his crazy hair slowly with the hand that was on his chest a moment ago. I didn't look away from his eyes.

My hand cradled his face as we stared at each other. "It'll be alright, So. I'm here if you need me. Always will be. I know it's hard, but we'll make it through. Together. I love you Soda. So, so much." I comforted him.

He nodded and gave a weak smile. He reached up and placed a warm hand over mine. "I know. I love you too. Some days are just harder than others." He said.

Laying my head back on his chest, I listened to the rhythmic pounding of his heart. It was slowly lulling me to sleep.

I had dozed off when Soda suddenly spoke up. "I suppose we better get back to the guys. You know how they are...assuming things." He laughed half-heartedly and winked at me. I knew he was just trying to mask what was inside.

I smiled and reluctantly, we stood up. Grabbing his hand I leaned up and pecked his lips before leading him out of his room. We walked straight back to the couch where we had been previously been. Two, Steve and Dally all gave us a smile that spoke volumes. They thought they knew what we had been doing in there, and it wasn't hard to tell what they thought. But they were wrong.

I didn't even smile at them. I was still so worried about Soda. Cuddling into his arms we watched them play this round of cards. Johnny and Ponyboy was staring at Soda a lot. They knew what was wrong. Pony had to deal with it, and he'd probably confided in Johnny.

It wasn't all that hard to see that something was off with Soda. If you looked closely you could tell that Soda's eyes were still red and his smile was only partly real. They shared a long, discrete, understanding look and I fought to keep back the tears. The sadness between the two of them was so prominent.

I jumped when there was a loud pounding at the door. All the members of the gang were here, and if they weren't they wouldn't have knocked. The boys were all invested in the game, so I knew I was the only one who was going to get up to check who was here. "I got it." I said and untangled myself from Soda and walked towards the door slowly.

It was close to nine o'clock, so I found it strange that someone would be coming around about now. The brisk wind of the night poured onto me when I opened the door.

There were two men on the porch. They were dressed in dark uniforms and I noticed instantly the guns and badges on them. "Hello, ma'am. We're with the Tulsa Police Department. We need to speak with the adult in charge. Do you live here?"

******A/N: Ohhh...why do you think the police are there? What did you think about Soda's parent description? Do you think I need to revisit it in another chapter?...and I will anyways...what else do you think he should tell her? Please Please Please review and let me know! Remember I need at lest 3-5 to post the next one. I promise it'll be worth it!**


	13. Striking Lighting, Pounding Thunder

**A/N: Hey Y'all! I just wanted to tell you guys that you are awesome! I got those 5 reviews in a day...Wow! Please Please Keep it up! So, because of that, I'm rewarding you with a chapter so soon! This chapter is pretty dramatic, so brace yourselves...enjoy!**

I was speechless. Why would the police be here? We hadn't done anything bad the past little while.

"N-No. I don't live here. Just one moment." I said, politely, still star-struck. He nodded and I shut the door. I was starting to panic a little bit. Were they here for me?

As I walked by the living room to find Darry, the boys caught sight of me. "Who was at the door, Andie?" Soda asked.

"The police." I answered in a monotone voice, but in reality I was scared. I wasn't sure what of, but I could feel inside me that something was really wrong. "Darry?" I shouted when I didn't see him in his room.

"Yes, Andrea?" He asked as he walked to his dresser from the bathroom that was connected to his room.

"The...police are here. They need to talk to you." I said quietly. It felt strange to say that for some reason.

He froze and stared at me with a face of disbelief. When he sensed that I wasn't lying he cursed and brushed past me and went to the door. I followed close behind.

By now the boys had stopped their card game. They had heard that the police were here and were all worried. I mean, everyone is worried when the police are banging at your door and without an explanation ask to speak to the one in charge. But, for the Curtis boys, it was even worse. They knew that any one little slip-up would get them separated. The state was just waiting for a chance.

I was standing close behind Darry when he took at deep breath and opened the door. "Hello officers. I'm Darrel Curtis, is there something I can help you with?" He asked politely. You could sense his fear, yet he hid it well. But we knew him. Knew the fear lurking behind his eyes and smile.

The fuzz didn't look really interested. They weren't that much different from Darry in size. One was a little leaner with light blond hair in a box cut. He was slightly taller too. An uninterested look written plainly across his face. He had the same broad shoulders, but wasn't nearly as toned as Darry was. He looked like he was in his mid to late twenties, not much older than Darry.

The other was slightly shorter than Darry and looked much older. He was thick in his stomach and had a dark brown, bushy mustache and hair to match. He looked to be somewhere in his forties. Experienced.

They both had a set look on their face. Maybe it was the way they clenched their jaws, the look in their eyes, or maybe it was the way they were standing, but I knew that something was different about why they were here.

Somehow I knew it wasn't because of the Curtis boys. "Yes sir. We're here looking for a Dallas Winston. A boy was shot about a week ago, and it has all been traced back to Dally. Is he here by any chance?" The tall one with the blonde hair explained. I laughed inside that they called him by such an informal name. A true testament to just how long Dal's record is.

But the laughter vanished as fast as it had come as realization hit me. I couldn't move. A boy had been shot. Dally had shot him. A week ago. I had been there, we all had. Dally had shot that gun when they were fighting Tim Shepard's gang. My thoughts instantly flashed to Rodney. _Please God, don't let it be Rodney!_ I silently begged. "Who was it?" I blurted out before Darry could answer. "They boy who got shot, I mean." My eyes were wide with fear and worry was laced firmly in my voice.

The officers turned their attention to me. The taller officer answered. "Mason Clarke. He's not dead, don't worry. He was shot in the side. It caused him to go into shock, and then he blacked our for a day or two. The bullet scraped one of his lungs and broke a rib or two, but he's fine now. The surgery went smoothly, and he's scheduled to be released from the hospital tomorrow." He explained, hearing the concern in my pleading.

My hand flew up to my mouth. Half in relief, half in...in guilt. Relief that it wasn't Rodney. I felt guilty because..well..I don't know why. I just did. I didn't want anything to happen to Mason, no matter how much he hurt me.

Ignoring me, the cop turned back to Darry. "So, Darrel. About Dallas. Is he here or not?" He asked impatiently.

"Yeah, I'm here. Don't get your panties in a wad." Dally said as he made his way to the door. The blonde cop immediately cuffed him and began to slowly lead him to the car.

I was still in shock. Mason couldn't have gotten shot, could he? He was well enough to stab Soda and run away. Wouldn't he have fallen down or something then and there if he had gotten shot? Wouldn't he have reacted more?

"C'mon, Andrea. He'll be back soon. He always is." Soda said to me and tried to get me to leave the door. He clearly didn't understand that I wasn't upset about Dally.

The shorter cop was about to turn away when he snapped back and looked at me, some form of recognition going off. "I'm sorry, but you wouldn't be Andrea Westbrook by any chance would you?" He asked politely. Now everyone turned to stare at me.

I furled my eyebrows and nodded skeptically, utterly confused on how he knew me. Sorrow crossed his face as he uncomfortable shifted his weight. "I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this but your mother has...passed. Bullet to the head. Reported as suicide three days ago. Your father reported you as a runaway, and I'm required by law to take you home. So I need you to come with me. I'm sorry I had to be the one to break the news." He said. He didn't sound to sorry if you ask me.

That hid me like shards of glass being thrown at me. My mind went blank. I couldn't think. I couldn't believe this. It wasn't possible. Mom would never do that, would she?

My legs gave out from under me, but I felt Soda catch me. He pulled me back to him as I started to sob. He held me as tight to him as he could.

Knowing that there was nothing he could say to make this better, he stayed silent. He'd been through almost this same thing. Almost. His parents didn't chose to leave him. Mine did. No. She couldn't be dead. This was all some giant twisted dream. I really did fall asleep against Soda and when I woke up, everything would be fine. I was sure of it.

Not long after the fuzz decided it was time to go. "I'm sorry miss, but we need to go now. I've got to get you home to your father. He's been worried sick about you." He said gently.

I didn't want to leave Soda's embrace. He was the one thing I needed right now. The only thing that could make me feel even slightly better. Soda slowly forced me away from him and I could sense that he didn't want me to leave either. He ran a hand through my hair and slowly kissed me head. "It'll be okay. I'll come by later, I promise." He whispered to me.

I just nodded and made my way over to the policeman. I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone, for fear of bursting back into hysterics. I had gotten some of the tears to stop, but they were still steadily falling.

The police officer put a comforting hand on the back of my shoulder as we walked to his car. It was then that I noticed that Dally had resisted going to the car and stayed to listen to what the fuzz had to say about me.

The shorter cop held the door open for me and I slid in, catching one last glance at the house. Soda was outside on the porch, looking worriedly at me, and I swear there were tears in his eyes. The rest of the boys were standing starstruck in the doorway. I couldn't even muster a reassuring smile as I slid over to make way for Dally who was being forcefully put into the car, even though he was going to go willingly.

I stared out the window as we drove away from the Curtis' house. I stared blankly out at the passing trees as I finally stopped the tears. I was focusing on anything else, like how green the trees were or anything.

"Andrea." Dally whispered from the other side of the car.

I turned to him, surprised he said something. So far it had been silent in the car with the exception of small chatter into walkie-talkies of the police in the front. I didn't say anything.

"You alright?" He asked quietly, concern in his eyes. That seemed like a stupid question. Why would I be alright? I just learned that my mother committed suicide. Who would be alright after learning that?

If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want to blow up on Dally, or the fact that I didn't want to burst into tears, I would've said all this to him. Instead I just gave him a simple "No." and let it be.

He nodded slightly, knowing that I didn't want to say more. "It'll all work out, Andrea. Look at the Curtis brothers. They're doing just fine now." He said.

I had to hold in a laugh at how wrong he was. Soda was still torn up about his parents and it'll be two years tomorrow. It'll never leave. I didn't say anything though. "Hey, you two, quit your chatter back there." The blonde cop said, not even looking back to us.

"What are you gonna do, sue me? She just found out her Mom is gone, okay? I was just seeing if she was alright." Dally retorted harshly. I gave him a small thank-you smile as a single tear leaked out of my eye. He just nodded and looked out his window and I did the same.

We pulled into my driveway and I didn't even budge until the shorter police opened my door for me. I dreaded having to walk in there and having to face my father, and face my mother not being there. When I didn't move, he offered me his hand and I knew I really needed to go.

Slowly, I took his outstretched hand and he helped me out of the car and lead me to my door. Not even two seconds after he knocked on the door, it was flung open to the image of my father. He looked rugged in his white shirt that was stained with many things, underneath his greenish-brown cargo jacket on. He had bags under his eyes that were now red and somewhat puffy.

No one even said anything before he pulled me to him. He nuzzled his head into my shoulder and took in a deep breath. He reeked of alcohol and that scared me. If something happened, Mom wasn't here to protect me anymore.

"Oh Andrea! I thought I lost you too! Don't you ever do that to me again!" He said quickly, and then looked at the officer. "Thank you for finding her." He said. I could hear the slur in his words, but he did a good job at hiding it. The officer nodded and went back to his car and soon they were gone.

Then, everything changed. As soon as they were gone he dragged me into the house and forced me to the floor hard. "Where do you think you've been for the past week!" He demanded.

I knew he was drunk when I saw all the empty bottles on the counter and scattered around on the floor. Fear encompassed me. "The Cur-Curtis'." I stuttered.

He hovered over me as I sat up with my back against the wall. He grabbed me roughly and nearly dragged me to the kitchen. The table was gone and he there me to the floor. I landed on something sharp and I felt it cut into my back, arm, and hands. I looked down to see the shattered brown glass I had landed in. "Right there. Thats where she died! Right where you are! That's where I found her!" He screamed at me. "It's all your fault that she's dead! She thought you died, so she wanted to be with you! You killed her! It's all your fault!" He screamed at me.

Tears flowed out of my eyes freely now. "You're just a worthless piece of trash! Just like her! Neither of you even deserve to have lived! You don't deserve to live now!" He boomed as he began kicking me. Then, he bent down and threw his fist on me hard and fast, like lightning. His voiced boomed threats and nasty words at me like thunder.

"Daddy, stop! You're drunk! Just please stop! Please! Daddy! I'm sorry!" I begged over and over through my tears and the pain. Talking was a struggle, as the wind was blown out of me many times by his hand.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and got real close to my face. I could nearly taste the alcohol it was so strong. I had to refrain from gagging or looking away. I knew if I did that it'd just be worse.

I couldn't even bring myself to look away even if I wanted to. I was so scared at the look in his wild bloodshot eyes. He almost resembled a rabid animal with the way he was preying on me.

"Don't you tell me what I am and what I'm not." He said dangerously quiet. I tried to keep my sobs down. I was so scared. So sad that it all came to this. Our family used to be perfect. We all used to be happy together. We'd never even dream of hurting each other, much less killing each other, which was what my father was planning on doing.

I was proved right when his hands lurched for me. Easily, his wrapped around my skinny neck. He began to squeezed, making my breath even hard to get. My hands flew up to his, trying hopelessly to pry them from my throat until my knuckles turned white.

The air I was getting was decreasing quickly and black dots began to fill my vision. I was chocking wildly, attempting to scream, but it was useless. My flailing legs began to slow and my grip on my fathers hands began to loosen as I started to loose consciousness. Slowly, my eyes shut.

Just before I blacked out completely, the door was burst open. "Get away from her!" A voice demanded. I was so scared that I couldn't even decide who it was. I wanted to believe that it was Rodney.

I didn't dare open my eyes. I was afraid that I was only imagining this. "Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me? You?" My father said laughing, his grip tightening still.

"You better believe I am. Now you step away from her. Right now." Said the same one who burst through the door. The hostility in their voice frightened me even more. I forced my eyes open. I saw Soda standing at the door. A look of urgent helplessness on his face, but his voice was demanding.

Then, he gave in and ran straight at my father, knocking him off me. It seemed almost easy while my father was in this drunken state, but I knew he still had strength. I began coughing profusely and curled up, trying to suck as much air as possible in. My hand threw up to my neck, as if I could hold it together when it fell like it was falling apart. But I knew I wasn't strong enough to hold anything together anymore. My whole life was crumbling before me and I tried to hold up the pieces, but it never worked.

I forced myself to roll over to watch my father and Soda. Soda was standing protectively between me and my father. He had his back against the counter as he stumbled clumsily to his feet. I could see that he was scrambled and confused about what just happened.

He looked around frantically, and finally found what he was looking for. He grabbed an empty beer bottle and shattered the end of it on the counter and pointed towards Soda. "You best get outta' my house right now if you know whats good for you boy." My father threatened menacingly.

Afraid of what might happen to him if my father advanced on him again, I intervened. "Soda." I called hoarsely. He didn't look back at me, afraid to take his eyes off of my father. He motioned for me to head towards the door and get out behind his back while my father's eyes were trained on him. I didn't want to leave him here but I knew it was my only chance to get out.

Slowly, I crept the short distance to the door. Then, my father started to make awful noises and doubled over, emptying his stomach. Seeing his opportunity, Soda turned and grabbed my hand. He dragged me up and we ran through the door, taking our only chance.

The lack of air getting in my lungs was inhibiting my running ability. I tried ot run, but it is incredibly hard when you literately cannot breath. Soda started with just encouraging me to keep going, but knew we weren't going fast enough. My father would be following us, without a doubt, but we both knew if we got to the house, we'd be okay. The whole gang could easily take my drunken father.

Soda stopped briefly and scooped me up bridal style and continued sprinting to the house. My coughing had gotten worse from the running and I was having trouble staying conscious from the lack of air, but I didn't dare let myself go. I kept a steady watch behind us for my father over Soda's shoulder as I clung to him. I didn't see any sign of him, but I was still so scared.

Tears were still steadily falling from my eyes as we finally reached the house. Soda nearly kicked the door down, making the boys inside jump. They all stood once they caught sight of us. I knew we sure were a sight to see.

A chorus of questions rang out as Soda carefully set me down on the couch and disappeared again. Two-Bit was by my side in a second. "Andrea! Your neck! What the heck happened to you?" He exclaimed. Everyone else was just staring at me, mouths agape.

I couldn't answer him. "Her good for nothing father happened." Soda said venomously as he walked back to my side with a glass of water in hand. I graciously took it and gulped it down quickly. It helped a little. My coughing ceased, but it still hurt.

He sat by me and I climbed onto his lap, wanting nothing more than to be close to him. I felt safer around him. He wrapped me up while I just sobbed into his chest, everything hitting me like a brick wall. Everything that had just happened with my father, and what happened with my Mom. What she did to herself.

"Hey, hey. Andie. It's okay. You're safe now, you're alright. I've got you. Don't worry. I'm fine. I've got you." Soda cooed in my ear, effectively calming me down.

The tears were still coming uncontrollably down my face, but it wasn't as many as earlier. I was curled up as tight as I could into Soda. "Please don't leave me. Don't let me go." I pleaded with him quietly.

He squeezed me tighter to him. "I never will." He said and kissed my head.

**A/N: What did you think? Was it what you were expecting? What did you think about her Mom? What about what her father did? Let me know! I'd love to hear what you think! Still need at least 3-5 to post the next chapter, so the quicker you do that, the quicker you get to read more. By the way, if you are just reading this, don't be afraid to review on previous chapters either. I'd love to hear what you thought about the others as well. I don't care how late you are. ;) **


	14. The Hammer Fell

**A/N: Hey my People! You guys are so good to me! I got a lot of reviews these past couple of days, so please keep it up! This chapter is the same as the last chapter, but in Soda's POV and I added a bit more to it. Enjoy!**

**Soda's POV**

_When this memory fades_

_I'm gonna make sure it's replaced_

_With chances taken_

I was pacing restlessly in the kitchen, glancing up at the clock constantly, muttering quietly to myself and wanting so badly to run to Andrea. To comfort her, but I knew I had to give her time. Time to mourn with her Dad and Rodney. It sure was killing me inside though.

After fifteen continuous minutes, Darry had finally had enough "Soda. Would you quit that! You're making me dizzy! You can go see her soon. Just give her some time." Darry snapped from his spot at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper.

I forced myself to stand still. "Sorry, Dar. I'm just worried, that's all. She took it kinda hard, don't you think? I mean I just wan-" I was rambling when he cut me off.

"Soda. She'll be fine. Just calm down." He set down his paper and looked at the clock, then back to me sighing. "Give it ten more minutes, then you can go see her." He said, and went back to his paper.

I nodded and went back to my pacing. Darry gave me a look over his paper, and I caught myself. I walked over to the couch and plopped down on the couch behind Two-Bit who was on the floor. My leg was bouncing up and down furiously. A nervous habit of mine.

"Geez, Sodapop! Are you trying to start an earthquake or something?" Two-Bit complained.

I looked at the clock. It hadn't even been a whole minute yet. "I can't take it anymore." I exclaimed and ran to the door. I heard Darry start to protest but quit when he realized there was no stopping me.

I ran straight to her house. I slowed to a walk at her driveway, trying to catch my breath again and actually look presentable. That's when I heard strangled cries from inside the house. I brushed them off as her just crying, but as I listened closer, they sounded more struggled than sadness.

I heard kicking and I carefully glanced in their front window. What I saw struck fear and panic deep inside me. Andrea was on the floor close to the door, legs kicking furiously. Her father was over top of her with his hand firmly wrapped around her throat. He was staring at her like she was some prey, and had a sickening smile on his face as he watched his daughter slowly fade away to death.

Not wasting another second I raced back to the door and flung it open. "Get away from her!" I screamed at him. I kept my eyes trained on him as he slowly looked up at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Andrea slowly stop struggling and noticed her eyes were closed.

I knew I had to act fast, or else she could die. I was so scared, but I tried not to let him know that. "Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me? You?" He laughed at me, and I suddenly felt sheepish for saying something like that. It was dumb to say anything. I just needed to separate him from her.

I was finally pushed over the edge when his grip tightened around her neck. "You better believe I am. Now you step away from her. Right now." I demanded. When he didn't budge, I lunged for him. I shoved him off of her, and tried my best to keep my own footing.

I heard Andrea start coughing from behind me and I stood protectively over her, being her wall from her father. He looked frazzled and scared as I leaned forwards towards him in fighting stance, forcing him back to the wall.

He slowly inched himself up the counter, obviously drunk, and grabbed an empty beer bottle. Just like any Greaser would, he smashed the edge on the counter, causing a make-shift form of a switch, and held it towards me.

I knew that I no longer had the upper hand. "You best get outta' my house right now if you know whats good for you boy." He threatened me.

"Soda." Andrea pleaded from behind me. I could hear the fear in her scratchy voice as she said my name. I slowly brought my left hand behind my back and gestured towards the door, silently begging her to leave and go to my house, where I knew she'd be safe.

Slight shuffling filled the air behind me as she struggled to get to the door. Her father shifted his vision towards her. He took a step towards her to stop her and I instantly tensed, ready to defend her. Before either of us could attack the other, he doubled over and began puking. I knew this was our only chance.

Quickly I turned around and grabbed Andie's hand and dragged her to her feet and out the door. I was trying to sprint, but she couldn't go that fast. I knew she could barely breath, but I knew we had to get to my house as soon as possible. He'd be following us no doubt.

Knowing that he could be on us at any second, I stopped and scooped her up in my arms, bridal style and pressed forward towards our only refuge.

She gripped on my shirt with one hand and wrapped the other around my neck as she forced her eyes to stay glued behind us, watching for him. I could feel every cough course through her entire body as she tried to catch her breath unsuccessfully.

After what seemed like forever, we arrived at the house. I virtually kicked the door open, my arms full, and barged in. The gang all jumped up when they saw us, all shooting up from their seats, concern all over their faces.

I rushed in and set a coughing Andrea on the couch gently. She immediately went into a bigger coughing fit as I went to the kitchen. Frantically, I searched the cupboard for a cup and filled it impatiently with water. The faucet seemed to take its dear time, while there was a near dying girl in the other room.

"Andrea! Your neck! What the heck happened to you?" A concerned Two-Bit asked, studying her neck. There were distinct hand-shaped bruises lining her neck like a collar, already deep shades of black, blue, and purple.

"Her good for nothing father happened." I said angrily as I walked back to her and handed her the water. She took it and gulped it down in record time. Her coughing seemed to stop, but that just freed way for tears. I knew she must still be terrified.

I sat next to her and she instantly was crawling into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and gently rocked her back and forth. "Hey, hey. Andie. It's okay. You're safe now, you're alright. I've got you. Don't worry. I'm fine. I've got you." I cooed into her ear softly, trying to calm her down.

She answered with sobs. They hadn't slowed at all, and I didn't figure they would anytime soon. I knew she'd probably end up crying herself to sleep. She did that a lot, so I just let her cry.

Her cries sounded strange and awful through her hurt throat. She still sounded strangled, and it killed me inside. Anger filled me, but I knew that I couldn't dwell in it yet, she needed me here. She needed me to hold her and tell her things would work out, even though at this point I wasn't so sure.

I knew we could protect her from her father, but I knew for dang sure that I couldn't protect her from herself. She was the one who was going to tear herself down from the inside out.

Then her faint voice broke through her sobs. "Please don't leave me. Don't let me go." She barely got it out. I knew it caused her loads of pain to even breath, much less cry or talk.

I did all I could. Squeezing her tighter to me, I tried to console her. "I never will." I said softly.

By now the gang had surrounded us, shooting me questioning looks. I merely shook my head, telling them to wait until later. Andrea didn't need to relive all that just happened to her.

Thats when I noticed the blood. Some of it was coming slowly from her hands, but most was coming from her lower back. I tried to remain calm as I got her up. "Andie, c'mon. Get up. Lets go get you cleaned up." I instructed her.

She nodded and slowly rose to her feet. I kept my arm firmly around her shoulders, just waiting for her to collapse. Wordlessly, Ponyboy brought me the First Aid Kit when I lead Andrea into the bathroom and made her sit down on the edge of the tub.

Ponyboy stayed briefly in the doorframe while I dug through the kit, but left soon after. Stealing glances at Andrea, I realized she was no longer crying hard. She had forced the tears to slow. Now she was just staring blankly at her torn up hands. They didn't look too bad, but there were definitely some cuts that might leave scars.

I found the disinfecting stuff and some bandages and walked over to her. Squatting in front of her I waited for her to look at me. Her emerald green eyes were shattered. The sadness that were in them when I first saw her had returned, this time even worse. I had finally thought I fixed whatever Mason broke in her, and now she was shattered more than ever. I knew this was going to take a long time for her to heal from it, if she ever did. I was still trying to heal from losing my parents and that was two years ago. She'd lost so many people, and I only prayed that I could be the one to turn that around, and I would if she would let me.

There were tear stains down her checks that were shadowed by dark black stains from running and smeared make-up. Everything about her looked broken, and I hoped she'd let me fix her.

Cautiously, I reached forwards and wiped at her checks delicately and latched my hand through her hair on the back of her head carefully. "It'll be okay. Just let me help you, and we'll make it through this. I swear. I can protect you if you let me." I told her, willing her to believe me.

"You can't protect me from everything, Soda." She said, looking back to her hands. I wondered vaguely what exactly she was talking about.

"I know I wasn't there to protect you soon enough this time, but I promise that won't happen again. I'll protect you now, I swear." I said to her, trying to get her to look back in my eyes.

"Soda, you got there just in time. If you hadn't come then, I'd be dead right now. But, that's not what I'm talking about. You can't protect me from myself. I'm my own worst enemy." She told me, like it was obvious.

I sighed in defeat and moved to work on her hands. I tried to pick out the bigger pieces of glass with my fingers, but ended up having to use the tweezers that were in the kit to get all the pieces out. It was a tedious process, as the glass turned clear in her skin and were hard to see. After that I applied the disinfecting cream and covered her skin with Band-Aids. I knew they wouldn't stay, but it was the only thing I knew to do. I was trying to be very careful with her, but she winced almost every time I touched her.

Before I got the chance to apologize again, she spoke up. "You shouldn't have come, Soda. You didn't need to see that." She said softly and slowly.

I was caught off guard. That seemed like a silly thing to say considering if I hadn't shown up she would've been killed. It hurt just to think about what could've been. I pushed the thought out of my head. _She's okay. You saved her. _I reminded myself. "I'm glad I did come. If I'd come in ten minutes like Darry told me too, you probably would be dead by now." I choked out. It was hard to even say that.

"Then you should've let me die! It's all my fault she's gone! She killed herself because of me! I have to live with that now! Why can't you just understand that! Understand that by saving me today, you're just killing me slower! You should've just let him kill me! I deserve it!" She said as loud as she could. It was close to screaming, but sounded awful. It must've took a lot of effort on her part.

I was in complete shock. What made her say something like that? I could tell by the look in her eyes that were still trained on her hands that she was serious. Guilt washed over me. Was she right? Was I wrong for saving her? Was I just prolonging her pain?

The guilt was over ridded by anger. Anger that her father had gotten that far into her head. I knew that she beat herself up about things and blamed herself, but she would never ask me to let her die because of it. Her father must've enforced the feeling. "Andrea! Don't you dare say that! It was not your fault! Why can't you realize that you aren't the only one who cares about your life! Did you ever stop to think about what would happen to me if you had died! Did you ever think about the fact that I've been going through the same thing for the past two years! I know what it's like! You think I don't know that it's not easy! I know that! But I know that you can make it through it!" I was almost screaming back. I tried to restrain my anger, for fear of pushing her further into herself like I knew it would.

Her head snapped up to meet mine. Behind her eyes were a mix of emotions that I couldn't distinguish. "Don't you dare even say that you know what it feels like! Your parents were taken away from you unwillingly! My mother _chose_ to leave me! I wasn't enough of a reason for her to stay! I didn't even see her for the last week of her life! My father tried to _kill_ me! He doesn't love me! He never did! My brother barely knows I exist anymore! He doesn't care about me! I have _no_ _real_ _family_ _left_! So don't you tell me you know what it feels like! Because you don't, Soda, you just don't!" She yelled, her voice beginning to get stronger.

"That still doesn't give me a good reason to just let you die! Why would you have even thought that I could do that! It's crazy!" I said, my voice getting louder.

She shot up to her feet, and I followed her. She looked me straight in the eye, anger clearly defined now. "Because I don't deserve this! I don't deserve this pain! You don't deserve this! You're too good for me and I'm just dragging you down with all my problems! I ruin everything, and I don't want to ruin you! I'm just a mess this world doesn't need to deal with! A mess you shouldn't have to clean up! I'm tired of being strong! I'm tired of living this life like this! Just tired of this life! Is that enough reason for you!" She screamed at me, tears starting to fall once again as her hands threw themselves around, accentuating her words.

Everything in my heart broke after hearing her words. Her deepest fears and feelings. I kicked myself for even raising my voice at her. I let myself soften."Andie, I admit, I don't know exactly what it feels like, but I know what it's like not to have parents. It's hard, I know. I know it's hard to carry on. If you're tired of being strong, than don't be. I can be strong enough for both of us for a while. I can help you through this. I swear we'll get through this. I know it's hard, I do. But I also know that it's not your fault. Why would anyone want to leave you? I know I don't, and I never will. I know that even though you don't have any blood family that cares, you'll always be part of the gang, and we'll never stop caring about you, okay? You aren't alone in this. We'll all be there every step of the way, I can promise you that. I love you, Andrea. Just please, please, let me help you." I brought my voice back down to normal, and I saw her soften, every bit of anger leaving her.

She threw herself into my arms and began sobbing again. "I'm sorry, Soda." Was all she said, her voice going back to a whisper.

"It's okay, Andie. It's gonna be okay. We'll be okay." I soothed her and pulled her close.

Then, as if on cue, a burly voice echoed through the house. "Where is she! Where did the little brat go!" It yelled. I recognized it as her father's own menacing voice.

I felt Andie go stiff under my arms. Her breath caught in her throat and I could feel that she wasn't breathing. I quickly pulled away slightly and cradled her face in my hands, making her look in my eyes. "Breath, Andrea, breath. We'll take care of it. We won't let him touch you. We'll protect you. I'll be right back, okay? You just stay right here." I said quickly, eager to get out there and face her father. I sat her back down and waited until she nodded slowly and let out a big breath before I walked briskly out of the room.

The gang were out on the porch in a line, guarding the door. I made my out on the porch and squeezed my way between them so I could see. I was right in the middle, in front of the stairs.

Andrea's father was stumbling up to us on the sidewalk that led straight from the door to the road. He finally made it to us and stood right in front of me, getting in my face. He recognized me, I assumed. "She in there?" He asked quietly, pointing inside the open door. Like I was actually going to let him get to her.

"You bet she is. But there ain't no way you're ever gonna step foot in there. I'll make sure I'm dead and buried before you even _look_ at her again." I said, a look of plain disgust on my face. The boys on either side of me looked just as angry as I felt and looked to be itching for a good fight.

"Look, boy! I ain't got time for this! You don't want her anyways. She's just a filthy piece of trash. I'm just trying to do the world a favor and throw her away." He said, as if that was a great reason.

That really set me off. I knew deep inside that I couldn't do anything about it. We couldn't afford any trouble. I knew that if I started this, he'd go straight to the police and that'd end up getting me and my brothers separated. That was the last thing we needed. My hands were balled up in fists so hard that my knuckles were a blinding white.

Before I could do anything, Darry cut in, recognizing how close I was to ruining us. "I suggest that you get off of our property and leave her be. The police are only a phone call away and we've got connections. Don't make this harder than it has to be. Just walk away and get off our land." Darry said, scarily calm. He was trying to negotiate with him! But in his eyes I could see that he was just as angry as I was.

Slowly, Andrea's father pried his bloodshot crazy eyes away from me and over to Darry. He pointed angrily to the door again. "I ain't leaving your property 'till I get _my_ property back. She's my daughter and you can't keep her from me. You'd do well to remember that." He said and tried to force his way in to her.

Steve and I instantly stopped him, each of us grabbing an arm. "You don't own her. You have no right to call her your daughter anymore. And _you _would do good to remember _that_." I said and threw him away from me, afraid of doing something I'd regret. He still struggled, but Two-Bit quickly filled my place restraining him.

Before I could do anything more, I stormed back into the bathroom where I'd left Andrea. Without thinking, I threw the door open that I had shut on my way out. She nearly jumped off of the toilet she was perched nervously on as she let out a small yelp.

_Way to go, Soda._ I yelled mentally at myself. "Hey. Hey, Andie. It's okay. It's just me. It's Soda. You're okay. I've got you." I said softly and pulled her into my arms.

She was shaking and I wondered how much she heard of what just happened. Tears had begun to flow again at how I'd scared her. I cursed myself for being so thoughtless.

A muffled yelling could be heard faintly from outside and the typical sounds of a fight breaking out rang through the house. I knew she could hear it too but I wished she couldn't. I didn't want her to hear this. She must have sensed me worrying about it. "He deserves it. It doesn't matter if he's my father, I know he deserves it." She said quietly into me. I didn't know if she was trying to convince me or her more.

I pulled her closer and buried my head in her hair, waiting for this to just end. I heard someone come in and start calling the police. It was a last resort option. We avoided situations that involved the fuzz at all costs, so that must mean that her father wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

I just held her and let her cry as I heard the sound of sirens get closer, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Then they shut off when they were right out front. After about five minutes of muffled talk, Darry walked hesitantly into the bathroom frame. "Andrea. The police are here...They'd like to talk to you, if you're up to it." He said gently. I knew she wouldn't want to. Heck, I didn't want her to, but we both knew she had to.

She took a deep breath, wiped her face, and stood up. She had a death grip on my hand as the three of us made our way to the police officer. It was the same short, chunky officer from earlier and his eyes went wide and softened in sympathy at sight of Andrea.

There were also two medics there, waiting for Andrea I presumed. Darry must've told them when he called. "Andrea, can you clarify that that man is your father?" The shorter one asked, calling her by name. She simply nodded and looked over to him. She paused when she saw him.

He was handcuffed and currently getting searched. He had his hands on the hood of the police's car, facing us. He was getting patted down by the blonde cop who was also here earlier, and he was staring intently at Andrea. He still looked angry and bloodthirsty, but also somewhere in there I could see the regret in his eyes. I looked away from their stare and focused on the cop, who was analyzing Andrea. He had a clear look at her neck which was colored black and blue with hand-shaped bruises, and looked at her hands. I noticed that the Band-Aid's were already falling off her hands.

He had nothing but sympathy in his eyes as he continued to question her. "Could you explain to me exactly what happened?" He asked. I had been dreading this question that I knew was coming.

I watched in agony as she relayed the story to him. She winced a lot and the tears would squeak out every once and a while. I knew she was trying to hold them back, but she's never really been good at that.

All I wanted to do was steal her away from all this. Just wrap her in my arms and hide from the world for a little while, but I couldn't. This is about as far into reality as she could get, and it killed me to know that I may not be able to save her.

When she got done explaining what happened the cop asked her a few more pointless questions and led her to the medics. I never left her side.

The inside of the ambulance was a dark, crowded place to be. We were surrounded by beeping machines, needles, and other various medical equipment. They decided that she didn't need to go to the hospital, but that they still needed to stitch up some cuts, so here we were. In the back of an ambulance. Just the thought of hospitals scared me now. Ever since what happened with Ponyboy last year, I haven't been able to go near the place. Too many memories.

She was sitting on a stretcher, feet dangling over the edge as I held her hand tightly. The doctors were busy with the long cuts on her back, but I tried to distract her. With our eyes locked together, we led on a pointless conversation. Mostly, I was the only one talking because she could barely talk right now and I was nervous. Anything to do with a hospital makes me jittery now. I was a hot mess when you added that with the police being here, and on top of that what Andrea had told me earlier was still haunting my mind.

Her hands were already bandaged and cleaned up. The bandages that her hands were wrapped in was rough underneath my grip. I was trying to be conscious about her injured hands, but I was so nervous that I couldn't help hold her hand too tightly.

She seemed to notice. "Soda. It's okay. I'll be alright. You can calm down." She said with a small laugh and placed her other bandaged hand on my cheek. She seemed completely calm and at peace now with what had happened, but I knew her better than that. She was just trying to make me feel better, putting on a mask for the medics and police and the rest of the gang. I knew she was still torn apart inside.

I instantly stopped bouncing my leg and gave her a weak smile, putting on a similar mask. Then she winced and her hands pulled away from me in pain. "Sorry about that, miss." Said the medic who was pulling glass from her lower back and stitching her up.

She just nodded and started to breath normal again. I put my head in my hands. "It's all my fault. I should've been there earlier." I said to myself, guilt filling everything inside me.

"Soda, this is not your fault. Don't be ridiculous. You saved me for crying out loud." She said seriously.

There were so many things I could say to that. Sarcastic comments and fighting words, but I bit my tongue. Neither of us were well enough to fight, and this wasn't the place.

I just kept my head in my hands until she was done, trying to block out all the noises that brought me fear. "Alright, you're finished. Just try not to do anything too strenuous or you'll tear the stitches." The medic instructed Andrea.

Almost too eagerly, I hopped up and out of the back of the ambulance. Andrea was following closely behind as I went over to the gang. Darry and I shared a brief questioning look. We were both freaking out inside about this situation. Without speaking we knew neither one of us was okay.

Two-Bit and Steve were still glaring at Andrea's father, both still fuming. Pony was obviously reliving the same thing Darry and I were, while Johnny looked indifferent to the whole situation. He was staring at his feet as always, but he was acting more reserved than usual. I figured that he was feeling the fear of the same thing happening to him. Even though his old man beat him and his mother ignored him, he'd never want them to go to prison. He still loved them, for some un-comprehendible reason.

When I turned back to Andrea, guilt once again washed over me. I regretted ever being mad at her. I'd been mad that she could be mad at me when all I did was save her. I'd been mad that she had actually thought she should leave me here. Leave me, just like Sandy did.

Hoping to convey a silent apology, I laid my arm around her shoulders as we watched them drive away with the hammer that shattered her to pieces I had to put back together again.

_I'm not going _

_cause I've been waiting for a miracle_

_And I'm not leaving_

_I won't let you_

_Let you give up on a miracle_

_When it might save you_

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! As always let me know what you think, good or bad. I still need at least 5 reviews, preferably more on this new chapter than old ones, but those are still just as welcome!**


	15. Time To Think

**A/N: Hey guys! I know I'm a little late and I'm sorry. School has just been hectic lately with homework and whatnot...we have seven days until finals so our teachers are loading us with homework. That means I haven't had much time to write so this chapter is kinda short. Kinda slow. I'm sorry. It's not my best but I promise it'll get better! **

The night was dark and cold. In more than one way. So many things had happened today that I was having trouble coming to terms with. My mother had killed herself. My father tried to kill me. I told Soda that he should've let me die, and that scared me, because I knew I had been serious.

The thought that this all had driven me to this point struck fear within me. I'd never want that. Was it because I was upset? Or did some part inside of me really want that? I wasn't sure. Not sure of anything anymore, except Soda and the gang.

I felt awful for all that I said to Soda. I figured he was still upset at me and I just wanted to take it all back, but at the same time, I'm glad I said it all. It would've just sat on my mind and gotten worse and worse if I hadn't.

We were standing around while they forced my father into the back of the fuzz's car. I was so scared and sad and angry at the same time. He kept stealing glances at me, and all I saw was the bloodthirsty monster who beat my mother and tried to murder me. He still had anger in his eyes as he stared at me, but I couldn't peel my eyes away from him. I never thought I would see this day, much less live through it. I always thought that we'd all make it through this hard time and then someday, maybe we could be a family again. But if it wasn't for the gang, I wouldn't even know what a family was anymore.

My thoughts changed to guilt and anger at myself as the memory of what I said to Soda rang through my head. Did I ruin it? Did I ruin us? Was he mad at me? I wouldn't blame him if he was.

My questions were answered when Soda threw his arm hesitantly around my shoulders and pulled me close. I watched plain-faced as they drove away with my father, but the anger emanating from the group of boys who were my family was overwhelming.

When we couldn't see them anymore, I was the first to start towards the house. I just needed to get away from all that had happened, and just pretend for a while that everything was normal. Soda was joined at the hip with me as always, and the gang wasn't far behind.

Nearly dead with a sudden fatigue, Soda and I plopped down on the couch and I laid down with my head in his lap. He played with my hair as the gang filed in, taking their respective spots on the couches and floor.

All was quiet for a moment as we all stared awkwardly at each other. The tension was still radiating from the boys, but they didn't say anything because I was in the room. "Guys, just say it. It's not like anything you say can hurt me more. He deserves it anyways." I said, tired of the silence.

I shut my eyes and relaxed into Soda. Stunned silence filled the house, then the band broke. "It just doesn't make sense to me! He had no right to do that!" Two-Bit exclaimed. Their conversation went on like that for a while, and I fell asleep to the sound of them spewing angry names and threats.

I sat up suddenly in fear, breaking out into a cold sweat. Breathing heavily, I looked around, incredibly afraid. I'd had a nightmare, but I couldn't even remember it. That's what scared me. I was in the Cutris' living room still, and Soda was still next to me. Darkness filled the room as I glanced towards the clock. It was 3 a.m. I sighed and laid my head softly back down on Soda's lap. He stirred awake. "Andrea? You alright?" He mumbled tiredly.

"It was just a nightmare, Soda. Go back to sleep." I said quietly, not sure if the other boys were still here.

He seemed more alert then. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked, serious. We both knew what it was about, and he was scared, and so was I.

"No. There isn't anything to talk about, I don't remember it. Just go back to sleep. I'll be back, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." I said and got up.

My eyes had adjusted to the light so it was easy to make it to the bathroom, but the light hurt my eyes when I flipped the switch. Shutting the door behind me I set my thoughts free. I let my mind wander over treasured memories of what my family used to be. Memories of my mother. When she was happy and still so full of life. I wondered vaguely if there really was a heaven like so many have said there are. If there was, was she up there? Up there with loved ones who have been torn away from others. Like Soda's parents.

I thought about Rodney and wondered how he was taking Mom's death, or if he even knew. Did he even care? The old Rodney would be just as torn up as I am about it, but now I wasn't sure how he would be handling it.

As I started pacing slightly, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. What I saw made me stop. I walked towards it and placed my hands on the edge of the sink, steadying myself.

The girl staring back at me wasn't me. It couldn't be, and yet she looked just like what I was feeling inside. Her tawny hair was very unkept and scattered. Her green eyes were deep and dark, surrounded by an endless ring of black makeup that had been smeared. Here face looked broken, and she had a strong sense of hopelessness surrounding her.

The most distinguishing part of her that made me know she was me was the ring of black and blue around her neck. I stared at it and rose my hand slowly to touch it. There was a little pain when my fingers met it, but I didn't stop.

I could still feel where he'd had his hands, and occasionally I still felt like I was chocking. His hands were big and covered my entire neck with black and blue and purple. It was an ugly bruise, and I couldn't make up a story for it if anyone asked. Not that anyone would. Everyone would already know what happened. It would be on every news channel.

That's the problem with living in such a place like Tulsa, nothing happens here and when it does, there isn't one person who doesn't know. Now everyone will know about my mother and how she killed herself and how my father tried to kill me. They'll exaggerate it no doubt, making assumptions on who I am and who my parents were.

I was tracing the shape of my father's hand on my neck when I heard Soda's voice. "Andie? Can I come in?" He asked.

I let my silence be the answer and he walked in quietly. I didn't stray my eyes away from the mirror and the girl who was staring back at me. I saw him come up in the mirror, and I noticed how tired he looked. He wrapped one arm around my waist from behind and the other hand reached up to take mine away from my neck. He pulled it down to my waist and wrapped both arms securely around me. Pulling me close he leaned down and kissed my neck softly while I still stared starstruck at the mirror.

"You know I still love you just as much right? Scars and all." He whispered into my shoulder.

I looked over at his face. He had his eyes closed as his mouth still rested on my shoulder. He almost looked asleep but I know he wasn't. Guilt washed over me when I saw his face. I knew I was the reason he looked so tired. He probably hadn't gotten any real sleep last night worrying about me and what I'd said to him. "I'm sorry, Soda. For what I said earlier." I said softly.

His eyes opened at that. He stood up fully again and turned me to look at him. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I know you didn't mean it. You were just upset and confused. I'm the one who should be sorry for even getting mad at you." He said, completely serious.

I couldn't help but fall more for this boy. He was so sweet. "No, Soda. You did nothing wrong. I would have been upset too if I were you. But the thing that scares me is that, I really was serious and meant it when I said it. I don't feel the same way now, but I did then. I really just wanted to die, and that scares me." I admitted.

Concern and fear crossed his eyes as he searched my face. I just stared into his beautiful eyes. I felt the tears pull up behind my eyes as I saw the pain behind his. I threw my arms around his neck and just pulled him close. He returned the hug and it didn't feel like he was letting go anytime soon. "I'll never let that happen." He reassured. I wasn't sure if it was me or him that he was trying to convince more.

We sat there in our embrace for a while before either of us said anything. "C'mon. Lets go back to sleep. I'm beat." He said and pulled away.

"You go ahead. I'm gonna go get some air." I said as he walked out and to his room, his hand in mine.

"You wan't me to come out there with you?" He asked. I smiled at him. I knew how tired he was and I didn't want him to stay awake longer on my account.

"Naw. You just go to sleep. I'll be back in later, I promise. I just need some time alone for a while to think everything through, alright?" I said and ran my fingers through his hair, which had become my favorite thing to do.

He thought about it for a moment, but then nodded, understanding my need to be alone right now. I smiled and watched him go into his room before heading out to the backyard. I perched myself on the cement steps leading down from their house and leaned against the walls. The night was chilly, but not to bad.

Staring at the star-filled sky, I relived the events of the day. I hadn't really believed it had happened until now. It was all hitting me like a ton of bricks now. My family really was gone. I wondered what this would mean for me. With both of my parents gone and me not being eighteen yet, I knew that the state would wan't to take me away. But maybe not, considering I was seventeen already and Rodney was almost nineteen. Maybe they would just let us be, but I knew things were never that easy. They sure weren't for the Curtis boys. I sighed at the thought that I might be pulled away from the only family I had left.

Staring at the sky, I vaguely wondered if there really was a heaven like people talked about. If there was, was that where my mother was? I sure hope she was doing okay wherever she was. Was she with Soda's parents? Were they friends? I sure hoped so.

Then another thought crossed my mind. My father was just thrown in jail. The same prison that Dally was in. Would Dallas recognize my father? What would he do to him? Nothing he doesn't deserve, but I didn't want Dally to be in that place for life or anything. I still really cared for Dally as if he was my older brother. Even though he reminded me more of the new Rodney, there was something different about him. I knew he still cared about me, unlike Rodney. He was the only one who truly understood what I'd done to myself the past year, and I needed him back desperately. But I knew it'd be at least a year before he got out. It was partially in self defense, and Dally always found some way to get out early.

"You okay?" A quiet voice asked me from behind, making me jump. It must be at least 4 a.m. What was someone doing awake? I knew it wasn't Soda by the voice. I turned around to see Johnny come to sit beside me.

"I never can sleep after I deal with my father real bad, didn't figure you would be able to either, especially the first time. I woke up and you weren't there, and this is where I'd go so I thought I'd look here first and talk to you about it." He said. That was the most I've heard him say at once. He laughed softly as I just stared at him, shock written on my face.

I was thankful for him. He knew almost exactly what I was going through. Almost. He was the closest person though. His father beat on him everyday of his wretched life. though his mother hadn't left, she barely knew he was there unless she was yelling at him. I don't think his father ever got to the point of killing him though, like mine was trying to. And his parents hadn't been arrested yet, so while our situations were close, they were very different too.

"Do the memories ever fade?" I asked him just dying to forget it.

He sighed. "Honestly, they never will. But then again, I have a hard time distinguishing which times were recent or not. I can't remember the first time it happened to me, but I also can't remember a time where it hasn't happened. So I guess I don't really know." He was surprising me how much he was saying about this, considering it was such a sensitive topic.

I just nodded, figuring that would be the answer, just not wanting to believe it. "I just wish I knew why he does it." He admitted. That was when I remembered that I wasn't the only one with problems. I reached over and grabbed his hand, hoping to give him silent reassurance.

"It's got to be something messed up with him, because I know you had nothing to do with it, Johnny. I haven't heard one single person say that it is your fault." I said to him quietly. I was hit with a sudden sense of Deja Vu. Soda had said almost the same thing to me earlier.

Johnny looked at me and smiled, knowing the same thing I did. I just chuckled and leaned back against the wall, turning back to the stars. "Do you think she's up there?" I asked.

He was silent for a moment as he figured out what I was talking about, pondering the right thing to say. "I don't know if there really is such thing as Heaven or Hell, but I'm sure she is. She'll be hanging out with Pony's parents, while your Dad can rot in Hell with mine." He said. I couldn't tell if he was trying to crack a joke, but I couldn't help but laugh slightly at it. He was just so abrupt about it. This wasn't the Johnny I knew, but I sure liked him.

I wondered what was changed in him. Maybe he fact that now he wasn't alone in what was happening. Maybe there was someone with the same or even worse problems. Someone he could talk to. Either way, I'm glad I had someone who really understood what I was going through.

"Thanks Johnny." I said and reached over to grab him in a hug. Somehow, this sad conversation had made me happier. I didn't care that it didn't make sense. I just cared that I was feeling better.

"Your...welcome. I guess." He said awkwardly. I pulled away from him and laughed at him. The gang wasn't exactly "huggy" so I didn't blame him for feeling awkward in my arms.

A yawn instantly stopped me from apologizing. I laughed slightly and stood up. "Well, I guess it's time for me to go to bed." I said. I didn't understand how I was so happy all of a sudden, but I didn't question it. Maybe I had just come to peace with it, knowing there were worse things that could be happening.

He nodded and stood up. We both walked inside and I instantly collapsed into the couch and he curled up in the armchair. Soon I was out like a light.

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for continuing to read my story! It means a lot! I've gotten a lot of reveiws on previous chapters when I want reviews on the newer chapters...so I would really appreciate it if you could give me at least two or three on this chapter! Thanks. I still need 3-5 Sorry about the chapter. It was kinda awful and had a lousy ending, I know, but better stuff is to come I promise. Just bear with me!**


	16. My Last Worst Fear

**A/N: Hey Y'all, so so so sorry about how long it took to update. I was at the beach all weekend and didn't have access to a computer so I couldn't write. Thank you to all who are reading this! Please continue to R&R!**

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile._

_When I thought that I was strong._

_But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone._

I woke up before everyone else the next morning, not surprisingly. I figured it would be a while before I would get a full nights sleep, but I was used to that by now. I had only slept about two hours since I fell asleep last, so it was only 6 a.m. The boys would probably be up soon. Soda and Darry had work, and I was pretty sure Steve was still here too.

Deciding to make my time useful I made my way to the kitchen. Darry deserved a break for once, so I decided to make them breakfast. Scouring through their fridge, I found the ingredients to the only food I really knew how to make. Pancakes. I grabbed some eggs too.

As I mixed together the ingredients, I heard the boys start to stir awake in the other rooms. Then, strong arms were around my waist. "What are you doing awake?" Soda asked as he kissed my cheek and set his head on my shoulder.

I looked over at him and kissed his forehead. "Making breakfast. I couldn't sleep. Figured I'd give Darry a break." I said and went back to mixing.

"Pancakes, huh? They look different than the way I make 'em." He said. Peeling himself away from me, he walked over to a cupboard and pulled out the skillet for cooking the pancakes.

He had a smug grin on his face as I stared at the batter, trying to figure out what I was missing. "What am I missing?" I asked innocently after adding up all the ingredients and knowing for sure I wasn't missing anything.

"Color." He said and winked at me. I remembered then Ponyboy making some smart remark about Soda putting various food colorings in his food.

I laughed at him as I plugged in the skillet. "Sorry I like normal people food." I said sarcastically. He just laughed at me and went back to his room to get dressed in his work clothes.

"Andrea, how many times do I gotta tell you that you don't have to cook for us all the time?" Darry said as he emerged from his room.

I turned to him and smiled. "About as many times as I won't listen to it. I couldn't sleep anyways and it helps to get my mind off things." I said with a sad smile.

His eyes softened. "It'll all work out. We'll work things out with the state, so don't you start planning on going anywhere, 'cuz you ain't going nowhere." He said and ruffled my hair like he does with his brothers. Except he actually messes up my hair when he did it.

It was almost as if he had read my mind about the worries I had earlier about having to leave. I smiled at him and went back to the eggs which were about to burn. "Thanks Dar." I said.

"No problem, Kiddo." He replied. That had become his nickname for me. I guess none of the Curtis boys liked my real name. Slowly, but surely all the boys were coming up with their own nicknames for me.

Before I knew it, all the boys were awake and in the kitchen, getting in my way. Irritated, I put a big plate of pancakes and eggs in the middle of the table, making sure to grab a pancake for myself before sitting down next to Soda.

Pulling my feet up in the chair, I began to nibble at my pancake. I hadn't been hungry at all since the incident with my father, but I knew they would all worry if I didn't eat anything at all.

"So what's everyone doin' today?" Darry asked from across the table. He wiped away food from his mouth as he looked at all of us.

"Well Johnny and I thought we'd go see Cherry today. She's been asking to see us and I figured we owe her a visit." Ponyboy said as he stuffed another fork-full of food in his mouth. I saw Johnny nod from the seat next to him.

Darry nodded and looked at me as I looked at Two-Bit. "Looks like you're stuck with me today, eh Babe?" He said and winked at me. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Oh goodness. It was nice knowing you guys, but I don't think I'll live to see you guys get home." I joked and smirked at Two-Bit.

He gave me a wide, toothy grin. "Sounds like you're already spending to much time with me. It's starting to rub off." He kidded back.

"Might as well sign the funeral papers." I retorted dramatically and took another bite of my pancake.

Two-Bit gave me a pretend glare but he couldn't keep it up for long and it broke into another wide grin. He was about to say something but Darry was too fast. "Well, as much as I'd love to watch the two of you go at it, I'm gonna be late if I don't leave now." He said and took his plate to the sink, gathered his things and headed out the door with a goodbye.

Soon the rest of the gang was done eating and putting away their dishes. I was surprised that they did this because they weren't exactly the tidiest bunch of boys.

I lazily followed Soda back to his room. Leaning back against his dresser, I watched him grease his hair back in the mirror. "So what are you gonna do today?" He asked, trying to spark conversation while I was perfectly fine just looking at him.

I looked around the room. "Well, I figured I owe Dallas a visit; he seemed pretty worried in the car yesterday. Then, well, I was thinking I should go see Mason." I said hesitantly. I knew Soda wouldn't want me to go see him.

He stopped and looked at me. "Andrea, you know I can't let you do that." He said, seriously.

Knowing this would happen, I looked back to him. "Soda, I know he's done some bad things in the past, but that doesn't change the connection we used to have. Now, now he's hurt and I can't help but feel like I should see him, considering it was partly my fault." I said, begging him to just understand.

He gave an exasperated sigh. "Andie, that wasn't your fault. If we hadn't stopped him, who knows what it might have gone to! He's hurt you and I don't feel comfortable with you going to see him! He can't be trusted." He said, trying hard to control his voice. I knew he was getting angry at the memories of what he did.

"Soda, I know he's changed, and I know that he tried and did hurt me, but he used to be my best friend. I just can't forget about him. I'll bring Two-Bit with me. Nothing is gonna happen, he'll make sure of it. Besides, Mason's been shot and is seriously injured, there isn't much damage he can do." I said.

"You don't have to have physical ability to hurt someone. You of all people should know that, especially from him!" He said, trying to get through to me. I knew he was just worried about me, and he had a real right to be. Mason had hurt me time and time again, but I still felt the old friendly yearning to see him.

"Soda, I know that. I know, I do. Just please. I'm worried about him, and I need to talk to him. I have questions that have been eating away at me. Just please, try and understand. I'll be careful, I promise." I nearly begged him.

He looked at the clock and then back at me. Looking me in the eyes he sighed and pulled me to him. "I don't like it, but alright. As long as Two-Bit goes with you. But I swear if Two-Bit tells me anything that isn't right, I'm gonna make sure he doesn't come out of the hospital next time." He said.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. This boy couldn't be more perfect for me. I could still sense his worry in the tense way his arms were around me. "Soda, I love you more than anything and I would never do something to hurt you or to make you worry if I didn't have to, but I need to see him." I said softly.

He nodded and kissed my head. I could feel him relax a little at my words. "I know, Andie. I just don't want to see you get hurt again. It kills me every time that I couldn't protect you." He said, bringing down his voice.

I pulled away slightly and put my arms around his neck. "Soda, you've protected me the best you could since we met, but some things we just have to let hurt us. Some things you just can't stop. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Now get going, you'll be late for work. I'll come by for lunch, okay?" I told him. He smiled and nodded. I smiled back and kissed him goodbye, shoving him out of the room towards the door.

Once him and Steve were gone, I sat in my spot on the couch above Two-Bit, who was laying down on the floor, watching Mickey Mouse intently. Johnny and Ponyboy were leaving to go see Cherry, abandoning me to the helplessness of being stuck with Two-Bit.

He rolled around to look up at me. "Do you guys ever stop making out?" He asked with his signature smile.

"We were not making out! I kissed him once!" I said, defending myself. He was making me sound like a slut.

"My point exactly. That was one looonnng kiss." He said dramatically and winked at me and sat up.

I reached down to push him over. "Why do you make things so difficult?" I exclaimed, pretending to be exasperated.

He pulled himself back up. "Because you react like that." He said and laughed. I glared at him and he smiled in victory. He turned and leaned back against the couch. "So what'cha wanna do today?" He asked, already bored.

"I need to go see Dally. What time do visiting hours start?" I asked.

He looked at the clock on the wall. "We can go now." He answered and hopped up from the floor eagerly. He grabbed the keys to his truck and I followed him to his jacked up maroon truck.

The engine started with a loud rumble as he started towards the police station. "So why exactly do you _need_ to see Dal?" Two asked and glanced at me.

I had been staring out the window when he asked and turned to look at him. "I don't know. He just seemed worried when we were in the back of the fuzz's car yesterday. Figured I oughta' let him know I'm alright." I explained.

He gave me a skeptical look. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, somewhat concerned. I looked back out the window as the flood of memories came rushing back. "No one's gonna blame you if you aren't." He said after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm not sure if I am or not anymore, but I think I will be with time. I'll just take it day by day, I guess. It's the only thing I can do right now. But I don't want Dally to be worried 'bout me the whole time. He'll have enough to deal with what with my dad being in the same place he is. But if I tell enough people I'm okay, I'll believe myself eventually." I said.

He was quiet for a moment. "I guess so." He said finally, clearly not believing me. I didn't blame him, but I was tired of everyone worrying about me. I'm tougher than they think.

We pulled up to a short, gray, brick building. It didn't have many windows, and didn't look too friendly.

Two-Bit parked and we walked into the daunting building. I let Two-Bit do the talking at the desk since he knew what to do. This being my first time, I was a little intimidated. Maybe I was scared of seeing my father. Scared of how Dally would react at what I had to tell him. I was just scared.

The receptionist then had an officer lead us to the back, where the inmates were kept. It happened to be the same officer who had been so kind to me through the whole experience. He was short with dark brown hair and a bushy mustache. "You here to visit your father, Andrea?" He asked cautiously. He looked at me with a sense of pity that I just couldn't escape now.

"No. We're here to see our friend Dallas." I said, shaking my head. I didn't think I'd ever build up the courage to come see my father. I couldn't look him in the eye and listen to those hollow apologies of his.

The fuzz nodded and punched in a code on a locked door and lead us through. After a few more doors we ended up in a large room that looked like a cafeteria with circular blue tables with chair surrounding them.

It was empty except for the guard in each corner of the room as Two-Bit and I sat down at a table. We sat in silence for a minute or two before a door opened across the room to reveal Dally in his orange jumpsuit and handcuffs with another officer behind him. He was lead and over and seated at our table.

His eyes widened at sight of my neck, similar to how Two-Bit had reacted. "What the hell happened to your neck?" He asked in an angry voice.

I looked down, ashamed of what my father had done to me. "My father. He tried to strangle me last night." I answered quietly. It still hurt to say it and accept that it really was true.

He cursed under his breath. "Is that the bastard they drug in here last night? Man, he came in screaming. Half-crazed and drunk to the point of drowning in the alcohol in his system. Been passed out the whole night, thank goodness." He said, almost to himself.

"Yeah. He was brought in late last night after he tried to come for me at the Curtis's." I said, quietly. Looking back at him I inquired further. "What was he screaming when he came in?" I asked hesitantly, not really wanting to know the answer.

I saw his cold eyes soften a little, then freeze back to his normal harsh, not-caring face. "Not really anything intelligent, but he was drunk so it's kinda hard to tell. I just know he woke me up with the fuss he was making." He said. I knew he was lying to me mostly, but I let it pass.

The flames behind his eyes were somehow making them colder. "Dally, don't do anything stupid." I told him seriously.

He understood what I meant immediately. I didn't want him to go after my father and get himself life in prison for murder, because we both knew that's what it would lead to. Dally wouldn't control himself.

We shared a serious stare as he tried to tell if I was serious. "He's still my father and even though I want to hurt him just as much as you do and I know he deserves it, I don't want that to mean you'll never get out of here, Dally. You still have people who care about whether or not you get out of here. Just promise me you won't do anything stupid." I pleaded.

He continued to look at my eyes for a few moments then leaned back in his chair. He sighed as he rubbed his face with his hand before looking back at me. "Fine. But don't expect me to be nice to him." He said crisply.

"I don't expect that, and frankly I don't want it. Be as harsh to him as you want, just don't go farther than that unless he forces it." I said. He nodded and I relaxed back into my seat. "So, how's life treating you?" I asked with a smirk on my face.

A wide, cocky smile spread across his face. "Ah you know. Same ol', same ol'. Little of this, little of that." He joked.

I smiled at him, then stared at my hands, wondering what to say next. Two-Bit spoke up hen and they carried on a conversation about seemingly pointless things. It dawned on me just how close I was to my father right now. He could be just beyond the brick wall on the other side of the room. Conscious or not, he still scared me. Despite my best efforts my hands started to shake lightly. I could smell the alcohol on his tongue and the cologne he wore. Suddenly, I felt his hands around my neck and I felt like I couldn't breath.

I began to panic and I just couldn't take it anymore so I stood and walked promptly to the door. They seemed to take forever to open the automatically locked doors. I had to restrain myself from sprinting outside when they finally freed me.

The air outside filled my lungs as I breathed frantically running to Two-Bits truck. I knew the doors would be locked so I just slid down against the tire. Cradling my head in my hands I tried to catch my breath.

Adrenaline was coursing through my body and I felt like I needed to get as far away from here as possible, but I knew I couldn't do that. Frantic footsteps rushed towards me. The fear inside of me told me to run, but I could tell it was Two-Bit when he called my name. "Andrea! Andrea? Where are you?" He yelled. He probably thought I had run off and would get myself hurt. Soon I saw his figure come into my view. "Andrea. Gosh, don't do that! I though you'd run off and would get yourself jumped or something." He said relieved.

"Sorry, Two-Bit. I just..I...I don't know. I guess I realized just how real it was. How close he was to me and I guess I just...panicked." I answered slowly, still trying to figure it out myself.

Sighing, he sat down next to me. "Andrea, he ain't gonna hurt you no more. He's locked away for good. He ain't ever getting out of that place. You don't have to worry about that. And if he ever does get out of that place, he'll have to go through all of us first. Besides, he'll have to go through Dal to get outta there, and there's no way that's ever gonna happen. Alright?" He reassured me.

I gave him a weak grin. "Thanks Two-Bit. I know all that, it's just all...so real now. I'm just trying to figure it all out." I said and stared at my feet, embarrassed.

He threw an arm around my shoulder. "It's alright, Babe." He said and flashed his toothy grin my direction.

"Two-Bit Mathews! How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?" I exclaimed laughing. He just wouldn't stop calling me that. It didn't really bother me because I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but I just loved to argue with him.

"About as many times as I won't listen." He said, using the same words I had said to Darry this morning. I smiled and punched him playfully, all the past fear forgotten.

He just beamed at me before getting up and walking to his side of the truck, hopping in and revving the engine. That was my signal to follow suit, so I did. "So whatcha' wanna do the rest of the day?" He asked.

I hesitated, wondering how he would react when I told him. "I was thinking that I should probably go see Mason." I said softly.

"He looked at me with seriousness written all over his face. "You honestly think I'm going to take you to see him? After what he tried to do? No way. It's out of the question." He said somewhat angrily.

"Two-Bit, I know what he did, but he used to be my best friend, and I need to see him. Whether or not you come with me is up to you, but I'm going to see him." I said matter-of-factly. I knew Mason wouldn't do anything to me today.

He cursed under his breath, realizing I was 100% serious. "Soda'll have my head if he finds out. You know that right?" He said.

"I already talked to him about it. He said he's alright with it as long as you come with me. Please Two-Bit. I need to see him. I have so many questions I want to ask him. Just please. If you really don't have a good feeling after I'm talking to him, I'll leave. Just give me the signal. But, please. Just let me talk to him." I nearly begged.

He sighed. "Fine, but he says one wrong word or makes one wrong move and we're outta there, got it?" He agreed.

I nodded. "Thanks Two. I owe you." I said. He nodded, his eyes looking stressed slightly. I gave him the instructions to Masons house and we made our way over.

Mason's house was just as I remembered it. One story with simple blue shutters and door. The yard was still just as unkept as I had left it the last time I saw him. It was all so familiar that it was almost painful to walk towards it.

All the things I had planned to say left my mind as I knocked hesitantly on his door. There were sounds of movement coming from the house as we waited tensely on his porch in the hot Oklahoma air.

The door opened to reveal Mason. Dark bags shadowed his eyes as they widened in surprise. Caught of guard, he stumbled on his words. "Andrea? You're the last person I'd expect to see at my door again." Regret was caked in his voice as he studied me.

I shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his stare. "Yeah. I, um, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I heard you were in the hospital." I said awkwardly.

"Um, yeah I was. Got out this morning." He paused and noticed Two-Bit behind me. "Do you wanna come in?" He asked, bringing his attention back to me.

"Sure." I said and followed him in. He went directly to a tan armchair and slowly eased himself into it. He looked rugged. His light brown hair was disheveled and the white hospital bandages were showing under his shirt. The blue in his eyes had darkened even more than the last time I had seen him sober, giving him an injured look.

He turned the television off as he motioned for me to sit. He could tell that I wanted to talk to him about something, and he also knew that might take a while.

I could feel his eyes on me as he waited for me to begin and I couldn't help but feel like he was staring at my bruises, my neck in particular. I regretted ever coming here. I just didn't know where to begin with him. "So I see that you're still walking around?" I asked, trying to provoke conversation.

He nodded. "Yeah, guess I am. Doctor says it's good for making the lung stronger and something about circulation or something like that." He said plainly. He obviously didn't want to talk to me. I didn't exactly want to have this conversation either but I was tired of it eating away at me.

I waited for him to say more. I figured he knew why I was really here. "So I heard about what happened with your Dad. It's all over the news." He said. I knew he would avoid it. That would also explain why he didn't say anything about my neck or the other signs it had truly happened.

"Yeah. It happened, oh well. Just gotta live with it right?" I said. I could hear the venom creeping up into my voice as memories of the things he did reappeared.

Sensing the hostility behind my words he sat up a little straighter then nodded. "Oh, so _that's_ what this is about, huh? I thought we both agreed to forget that and leave each other alone." He said in the same cocky tone he'd always used with me.

"Don't blame me for that. I'm not the one who didn't leave the other alone. If you hadn't bothered me that night, neither of us would be here now would we?" I spit back, letting the venom spread through the air with my words.

Things were starting to heat up quickly, and all I had wanted were some answers. So much for that. I had forgotten how hard it was to have a real civilized conversation with this Greaser in front of me. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down so I could get the answers I'd been looking for for so long. "I just wanted answers. Then I'll be gone for good, alright?" I said gently.

He sighed. "Fine. But I doubt you'll accept the answers I give you. Never did. I'll always be wrong, but go ahead and waste both our times." He said.

I had to suppress the immense yearning to go over and knock that smirk right off his face. We'd never get anywhere. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I was always the last to know everything. Why?" I asked him. It didn't come out nearly as smooth as I had planned, but it would have to do.

He gave a harsh laugh. "Always the same questions ain't it?" He said and looked at me. When I didn't answer he continued. I knew his tricks, trying to avoid the question. "I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't understand, and clearly I was right, judging by the way you acted. Plus, didn't figure it was important to you. It didn't matter." He said as if it were nothing.

I was struck silent by his response. "You tried to commit suicide and you don't think that's just a little bit important? I can't believe this. I just don't know why I even bother trying to talk to you. C'mon Two-Bit. I'm done here." I said and got up, heading back towards the door.

Two-Bit followed me and we were nearly to the door when a little boy came rushing up and grabbed my leg. Caught off guard I laughed at his sudden affection. "Well hello there little guy." I said and ruffled his curly blonde hair. He came up to a little past my knee and had a death grip on my leg. He looked up at me and gave me an adorable few-tooth grin. His dimples were prominent against his freckled skin and blue eyes. He looked very familiar.

"Danny! Let go of her!" A new voice yelled from another room, but was quickly advancing upon us. Soon a girl with beach blonde hair came and pried the small child from me and scooped him into her arms.

She was very beautiful with her china blue eyes and petite figure. She didn't look old enough to have a kid, but I knew he was hers by their similarities. He had her blonde hair, but his eyes were very much someone different. They looked vaguely like another Greaser I knew who happened to be in the other room. The pieces started to fall together.

"Sorry about that. He doesn't usually act that way towards strangers." She apologized as she looked at him and wiped some food off his cheek. He was still smiling wide at me and I couldn't help but return it.

"It's fine. Really." I said.

She looked up then but froze when she laid eyes on Two. "Two-Bit? What are you doing here?" She asked.

When I looked at Two-Bit, he was completely star-struck. He didn't move, just stared wide-eyes at the blonde girl with a child bouncing on her hip. "Sandy." He said, nearly a whisper, not believing. My eyes widened as I looked to her. The three of us stood gaping at each other.

My last worst fear was coming true. We didn't need this. This girl was going to come and crash whatever may be left of us all. Our own final destruction.

_But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go._

_The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down._

******A/N: Hey! I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! I tried to make it as long as I could to reward you for waiting patiently. Let me know what you think about Sandy coming back! And about Andrea's freakout (this will probably happen more often), or her conversation with Mason! Just let me know what you thought! You know the drill!**


	17. Coming to Terms

**A/n: Sorry, kinda short chapter. Let me know what you think!**

You could hear a pin drop in the stunned silence that filled the room as we stared at one another. "I thought you moved away. What are you doing back?" Two-Bit asked Sandy with ice in his startled voice.

Her face became somber at his harshness, knowing the hurt had never left. Everyone in the gang was affected when she left, not just Soda. It changed him and threw off the balance in the gang. Soda'd always been the one cheering people up and happy all the time and when he broke, no one knew what to do.

"Well Danny grew up a little, and my grandma decided to ship us back here together, but my Mom still didn't think it was a good idea and told me that I couldn't live with her. So, well, I mean, Mason _is_ Danny's father, so he's letting us stay here until we get on our feet." She stumbled through the words awkwardly.

I was too stunned to say anything. She had just confirmed what I had thought earlier. Mason was the little boy's father. That means that Mason cheated on me with Sandy. He cheated on me with the girl who gave up Soda. It really is a small world after all.

Something in the way she said Mason's name made me think that she wanted out of here as soon as she could, but she had nowhere else to go.

When neither of us said anything she continued. "So, Two-Bit, how's Soda doing? I'd love to see him again." She said cautiously. I looked at Two-Bit, wanting so badly to tell her off but not knowing what to say to her.

His face went stone cold. "Well he's doing just dandy considering that the girl he loved more than anything up and left with someone else's kid. And he's doing just fine without you, so don't come knocking on his door." He said icily. And with that he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the house.

Both of us fuming with anger he drove off away from our new source of destruction. He was tapping on the steering wheel angrily. I was trying to calm down because I knew we were going to the DX to meet Soda for lunch, even though it was still early for his break, and I didn't want to be mad when we got there.

Soon he couldn't take it and he pulled off the road sharply, earning a lot of angry honks from behind. He punched the steering wheel in frustration and let out a string of curses. "We're not going to tell Soda about this, alright?" He demanded at me. I nodded in agreement, but was doubting my skills to keep it from him. Soda could read me like a book.

After a minute of deep breathing he pulled back onto the road back towards the DX. Neither of us got out when we parked in the lot of the small white brick-building. We both just stared at it, putting on our game faces before finally building up the courage to go in there.

An older man who looked to be in about his forties passed us on our way in, carrying a pop bottle and a bag of chips.

Soda was standing behind the counter and looked up at the jingle of the bell on the door. His face lit up when he saw us and my composure began to crack. I couldn't lie to him. He rounded the counter and pulled me to him, placing a welcome kiss on my lips. He kept one arm around me as he turned to Two-Bit, saying hello and then turning back to me. Concern suddenly laced his eyes. "Is everything alright? Did something happen with Mason?" He asked, clearly seeing through the cracks of my mask. He looked at Two-Bit.

I hesitated, knowing I couldn't lie to him. "Well, she kinda had a little bit of a panic attack when we were visiting Dally." Two-Bit covered for me.

Soda looked back to me with even more concern. "What do you mean panic attack? How bad was it?" He asked.

"Well, I kinda, sorta, may have run out of the jail without an explanation, literately not being able to breathe. Really, I'm fine. It's nothing to be worried about So." I said, as if it were nothing. And really, it was nothing compared to everything else that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

"Doesn't sound like nothing to me, but if you say you're okay than you're okay." He said. He'd finally learned how stubborn I was about 'being okay.'

Two-Bit and I didn't say anything. We just looked at each other awkwardly. "Alright, what aren't you two telling me? And don't say you aren't because I know you are. Two-Bit's never shut up for this long. What happened? I swear, if it's Mason, I'm gonna m-" Soda started, evil ideas running through his mind.

"Soda, that's not a good idea." Two-Bit paused Soda's rant.

"And why not? I have more than enough reason to beat every last breath out him. If he hurt you, you can't expect me to just sit back and let it slide. I told you this would happen, Andie." He exclaimed.

"Soda, I know. But there's something you need to know. The kid is Mason's. Sandy's kid. She's back and living with him." I told him quickly. His face went blank as he digested it and he didn't look like he was breathing. "Soda? Say something." I said worriedly.

He shook his head slightly. "She told me she was never coming back. She told me she was gonna start a new life without me, why is she back? Are you sure it was really her?" He said, looking at Two-Bit. It tore me apart to hear him say those things with such pain in his voice.

"Yeah, Soda, I'm sure. She said something about wanting to come and see you, and if she's still the same Sandy I knew, she'll be by in the next few days." He said quietly. That was a first.

His face went a little paler. "And what did you tell her when she said that?" He inquired.

"Well, I told her not to come, but you know she never listened to me." Two-Bit told him.

Soda thought about it for a minute. "I just don't know what I'm gonna say to her." He said quietly.

"The truth. Tell her what a real low-lying, cheating, two-timing, wh-" Two-Bit started but I cut him off. He was just making Soda look even sicker than he already did.

"Two-Bit." I said sharply, effectively shutting him up when he saw Soda's face. "Soda. You don't have to say anything to her. You might not even need to; it sounds like Two-Bit's got enough to say for everyone, alright? Don't worry about it." I said an combed my fingers through his golden hair. His eyes met mine and I could see the cracks starting to become larger. I pleaded silently with him to understand that everything would be okay, but I was having trouble believing it myself. Everything with my father and my Mom was enough, but now she had to come and tip the scale more. Talk about bad timing. We couldn't handle this.

Suddenly, the phone rang loudly from behind the counter. Soda hurried to answer it. "Hello?" His voice called through the receiver. He listened intently for a minute before looking at me. "It's for you." He said. Something in his voice was off, but I wasn't sure if it was Sandy or the call. People rarely called the DX, and nobody ever called for me. I didn't work here, so how would they know to call here?

Slowly, I walked to the phone, taking it out of Soda's outstretched hand and placing it to my ear. The two of them were staring at me as I spoke. "Hello?" I said, just barely loud enough to hear on the other end.

"Hello, this is Officer Joseph Holden from the Tulsa Police Department, is this Andrea Westbrook?" A familiar voice answered on the other end. I knew it was the same short officer that had been through this entire situation.

"Yes, this is her."

"Hi, Andrea. I meant to talk to you about this at the Station but you ran out before I could, and judging by how quickly you left, I didn't think you would want to come back. So the next easiest way is to do this over the phone, if that's alright?"

"Yes Sir, that's fine. Is something wrong?"

"Okay, well, since both of your parents are gone, you are legally considered an orphan in the state of Oklahoma. Normally, this would mean you would be shipped off to a Girl's Home that is most likely far from here. However, because you are almost eighteen, and your brother is nineteen, the state is allowing you to stay where you are. There are a fe conditions though. Your older brother, Rodney, is now your legal guardian, so you are going to have to live with him in your home. Someone from the state will come by randomly every once and a while to check up on the two of you until you are eighteen. You also have to maintain a certain standards involving grades and behavior at school, but judging by your records, I don't think you'll have much of a problem with that. Does all of that make sense."

"Y-yes Sir. Thank you for letting me know." I stuttered.

He hesitated for a moment. "Andrea, that's not all. The state also thought it right to give your mother a proper funeral, considering you cannot possibly pay for it yourselves. Would you be in favor of that?"

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't even thought about that. The idea of seeing my mother's dead boy inside a casket hard and cold and lifeless brought me chills. I didn't want to see that. I still hadn't come to terms with the act that she really was dead. Despite my thoughts I answered, "Yes. That'd be fine."

"Alright, I will let them know and they will be in touch with you or your brother soon to work out the details. You have a nice day know. Goodbye." He said.

"Bye." I said mechanically and heard the click of the phone as I hung up. Taking many deep breaths, I put my elbows on the counter and my face in my hands, trying my hardest not to break down. I knew both of the boys were still staring at me, but I didn't care right now.

"Drea, you alright? Who was that?" Two-Bit's voice rang out. He'd started calling me Drea recently, just like the rest of the boys and their own nicknames.

"That was Officer Holden. He just called to say the typical stuff I should've expected, mostly. He said that legally I'm an Orphan now, but because I'm almost eighteen they are letting me stay, but that means that Rodney is my legal guardian. He told me about the standards I have to keep in school and the people coming from the state to check on us, but that's nothing I didn't really expect." I told them.

"And? I know there's more. There's always a catch." Soda said. He would know about this. He'd been through the same thing not to long ago with his parents.

Sighing, I continued. "And the state wants to throw a funeral for my Mom. I don't know, I just haven't really accepted the fact that she's really dead so it's just kinda a lot to take." I said truthfully.

Soda came around and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Andie. It'll be alright, though, I promise. Trust me, I know. I'll be there every step, it'll be okay." He said quietly. I melted into him and just let him hold me.

A loud bell rang from behind as a customer walked in. Soda kissed my and pulled away from me, giving me an apologetic look as he waited for the man to come to the counter. As more people filed in I realized we wouldn't get any more time alone so I motioned to him that we were going to go. I needed to be alone.

He gave me a sad look before nodding. Two-Bit drove us back home but when I got out I decided to go to my own house. Two-Bit looked like he was about to object but let me go, only if he could take me, for safety reasons or something.

My house had a sense of emptiness pouring out from it and I almost wanted to just go back to the Curtis' house, my real home now, but I didn't. I needed to go inside, so reluctantly I walked up the daunting steps and entered the old blue house.

The furniture was all in the same place I left it, but the shards of glass were gone. The police had collected them when they conducted a search of the house. They had to have evidence that he did it, and I was dreading the day that I would have to go to trial to testify against my father.

The collection of evidence had been quick. They didn't need much. The biggest piece of evidence was taken when they took pictures of my neck, so I had been cleared to be in my house again. I was surprised at how fast it was, but the faster it went the better it was for me. If I was lucky, I thought, I might not have to testify because the evidence was so strong, but I knew I was filling my head with lies.

Slowly, I walked around my house, inspecting everything as if I'd never seen any of it before. Somehow, I ended up at my parents bedroom door. I took a deep breath and slowly pushed it open. The smell of my mother's perfume still lingered and it was painful. I walked to her dresser and looked in the mirror above it, staring at the pictures in the frame of it. There was a picture of me and Rodney when we were about 8 and 9. It was Christmas and we were sitting at the table in our pajamas waiting for breakfast with huge smiles on our face. There was a picture of my parents wedding day, and below it pictures of the day Rodney and I were born. The picture that caught my eye was one of our whole family, happily hugging and smiling at the camera. It reminded of what we used to be, giving me a bitter-sweet feeling.

Then in the mirror I saw my mother's treasure box on her bedside table. She always kept it hidden, so I found it strange that it was out. I walked over to it and grabbed the key that I knew was hidden in a secret compartment in the table.

When I unlocked it I stopped. Inside lay two letters, one addressed to me and the other to Rodney. Carefully I picked up mine and gingerly opened. My mother's handwriting covered the page. The tears began to gather behind my eyes as I realized what this was: My mother's final goodbye to me. It read:

_Dear Andrea,_

_ I hope you know that I love you more than anything. If you're reading this, it means I'm gone. I know you don't understand why I did what I did, and I hope you never will. If you do ever know, it means you've gotten to this spot of complete despair, and I don't want that for you. I want you to live a long and happy life. I don't expect you to ever forgive me for leaving you like this; for leaving you with your father. I want you to find a way to get away from him. He's what drove me to this, don't let him do the same to you. Don't let anyone make you get to this point. Find a boy who is good for you and stay with him forever. If things go bad, don't be afraid to just walk away. I waited too long, and this is my only way out now. I know this will hurt, and I know it will take time to get over me, but you need to move on. I'll always love you, and it pains me that I have to do this to you._

_ Much love and pain,_

_ Mom_

The tears were too much to hold back. Collapsing to the floor, I held the letter to my chest and let myself sob for the first time about my mother's death. The sounds coming from me were horrid and they frightened me.

I'm not sure how long I had been crying when I heard the door open downstairs. "Andie? You in here?" Soda called as his footsteps echoed through the empty house. I willed myself to stand up. Trying to stop the silent tears streaming down my cheeks, I walked into the hallway where I heard Soda.

He stopped when he saw me. I wasted no time and ran into his embrace. He held me for a few minutes, clutching me close to him. "What's wrong?" He whispered.

Not trusting myself to speak I pulled away from him and handed him the letter left to me. I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched him read it. He didn't even say anything when he was done reading, he just pulled me back into him. He held me until I stopped crying, just rocking me back and forth slowly like he does. "C'mon, let's go home." He said and began to lead me to the door. He kept me under his arm as we walked to his house. It was still light outside and I figured he'd come found me after he got off work.

When we walked in we were greeted with four worried looks, but no one said anything. They could probably fill in the gaps. Soda and I just walked straight to our spots on our couch and I melted into the comfort of his arms as I faded off into sleep, the letter weighing heavily in my pocket and on my mind, threatening to haunt my head with nightmares.


	18. Undeserving

**A/N: Hey Y'all! I think it's kinda funny how you guys have a tendency to guess exactly what I'm going to do in the future...Anyways...here's the next chapter. Kinda intense...Please R&R!**

_My mother was standing not but two feet in front of me, but somehow I couldn't touch her. I reached out for her but I caught was nothing. With every step I took towards her, she took a step back. "Mom, what are you doing? Aren't you happy to see me?" I asked her, hurt and confused._

_ A tear strolled down her face. "Of course I'm happy to see you. I just..it can't work. You have to forget about of me Andrea." She said sadly. She was wearing one of her short floral dresses. It was a light blue, green, and yellow and it made her appear to be no older than I was with her light brown hair pulled back slightly in the front._

_ The tears started to flow down my face. How could she say something like that? "I don't want to have to forget about you! Momma, don't do this. Don't leave me." I pleaded with her._

_ She stepped forward and slowly placed a hand on my cheek. "Andrea, I love you. I love you so much. Just know I'm alright. I'm happy here. It's not your fault I did what I did. Just remember that. Remember that and move on. I love you." She said._

_ I couldn't control myself any longer and threw my arms around her. "Momma, please, don't. I miss you! I just don't understand." I sobbed into her._

_ Her arms went around me and rubbed my back soothingly like she always used to. "I know Baby, I know. I miss you too, and I know you don't understand but there's no way I can explain how unhappy I was. Your father, well, he's not who I thought he was when I married him. Please, just understand that it's impossible to describe. I love you Andrea and I wish I could've stayed to watch you grow up, but it was too much and I couldn't take it anymore. I love you." She told me, not making it any better._

_ Then, she was ripped from my arms. I looked up to see my father standing there with her hair in his hand, holding her close to him and having the barrel of a gun pressed up against her temple. She looked frightened but she didn't make any noise. Her eyes pleaded with me to look away but I couldn't make myself. "No!" I shouted as I lunged for my father. He pulled the trigger and my mother collapsed to the floor. I fell to my knees beside her, praying that by some miracle she was alright but I knew she wasn't. The blood was everywhere and I didn't dare look at her dead, cold face. _

_ My father grabbed my shoulder roughly and jerked me around to face him. He hovered over me with the gun pointed right at my head and I knew I was about to die. "Daddy. Daddy, please stop! Please don't! Daddy! Please!" I screamed at him, begging him for my life._

_ He gave a cynical laugh and inched the gun closer to me. "I've never been one to follow orders." He said and pulled the trigger. For some reason, it didn't kill me. I stood up and instantly started running away, knowing he was following close behind, ready to kill_

"Andie! Andie, wake up!" I heard a voice calling me. I couldn't tell if they were shaking my shoulder or if I was shaking myself from fear. I shot up and escaped from the arms holding me and ran as fast as I could out the door, convinced my father was chasing me. A symphony of voices called my name but I only heard one pair of footsteps chasing me, and something in my head told me they were my father's.

Then he was around me. I thrashed and screamed for all I was worth, not ready to die. "Andie. You're okay. Nothing is gonna hurt you. You're okay. It's me, Soda. You're okay." The voice tried to sooth me.

When I realized it really was Soda and that I was safe I slowly stopped trying to escape and just sank back into his arms. My body was violently shaking as sobs coursed through me. "He killed her. He killed her! He's coming for me!" I screamed. He held me close to him and rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. He was basically the only thing holding me on my feet.

"What are you talking about Andie? No one killed anyone, and no one's coming after you." Soda's voice said. I shook my head. I know that my father killed Mom. I watched it. He shot me, but I didn't die. He tried to kill me and he still is. I know it happened.

"Yes he did. My father killed her. He killed my Mom. He tried to kill me! He killed her! It was him, I watched it happen! And know-know he's coming for me!" I said, begging him to understand that I was in danger.

"Andie, that was a dream. No one's coming after you. You're safe. It's okay." Soda said quietly. I just shook my head, trying to clear it. What happened that night? I just didn't know anymore. Was it really just a dream?

"I'm scared, Soda. You have to protect me. You have to keep him away from me! He's gonna kill me." I whispered into him. I feared that I was going to die. My father was chasing me. Or was he? I just didn't know what to do or what was real anymore.

He pulled me closer, if that was possible. "I know you're scared Andie, but I won't let anything bad happen to you. He's not gonna hurt you anymore. He's locked up for good." He told me. He's said that before, but obviously it hasn't worked yet. He still can't protect me from myself.

I just let him hold me as I tried to calm down. Slowly, reality began to separate itself. My father wasn't after me; he was in prison. My breathing slowly went back to normal. I could hear that Soda was still breathing heavily and he was clearly scared to.

"What happened back there Andie? You're scaring me." He said, his voice sounding a little shaky. He pulled away from me and looked me in the eye, a hand on either shoulder. He pushed a strand of hair back behind my ear as he studied my face.

I looked up at him feeling instant guilt for making him worry. Again. "I'm sorry, Soda. It's just, it seemed so, so real. She was really there and we were talking and then my father just showed up and shot her point blank right in front of me before doing the same to me. I really though it happened, and that scares me. The thought that he can get in my head like that." I said, forcing the tears to stay back.

"It's okay, I just, I don't know. You started to jerk around a lot and then you started to scream and it didn't make any sense and it scared me and I just didn't know what to do. I mean, Ponyboy used to have nightmares after he came back from Windrixville, but they never seemed to be so bad." He said, seeming to get slightly distant at the thought.

I processed that. "I'm sorry, Soda. I didn't mean to scare you, I just, I don't know. I'm sorry." I said again, not exactly sure what to say.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I understand that you can't control it. You were just scared and acting on impulse, I get it. Just try not to do that often if you can help it. If there's anything at all I can do to help, let me know, please. It kills me to see you like this." He said, absolutely serious and he wiped some tears away from my face.

A small smile broke through and onto my face. He gave me a confused look. "I don't deserve you, Sodapop Curtis." I said and wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his, forcing myself to forget the dream. He kissed me back and we stayed there for a few minutes, melting into each other.

My shaking had finally come to a stop as we pulled away. He was the only thing in the world that could make me feel better so fast. I was still pretty shaken and jumpy but it wasn't to bad.

It was then that I caught glimpse of the gang standing on the Curtis' porch. They weren't very far away, but there was enough distance for them not to hear us, or see us very well. "I guess we should get back to them. They look pretty worried." I said with a weak smile. I could vaguely see a few figures pacing back and forth and I figured it was Two-Bit and Darry.

He nodded and we started to walk back to the house slowly, his arm over my shoulders protectively. He shot me worried glances often as I flinched at the slightest noises. I tried to give him reassuring smiles but I knew he could see right through them, but he didn't say anything.

We hadn't even reached the porch before the gang came running to meet us. I flinched as they al started shouting questions. "Guys. Seriously? Back off." Soda said loud enough for them all to hear.

They all got quiet. My shaking had started to come back, even though I knew they wouldn't hurt me and I was leaning into Soda, almost trying to hide from them. Their faces fell in regret when they saw this and I tried to compose myself. I didn't want them to see me like this.

"Andrea, what happened?" I heard Darry's voice speak the lingering question on everyone's mind.

Soda's arm tightened around me. "Just a bad dream. I'm sorry that I scared you. I didn't mean too." I said to them shyly, pushing hair behind my ear awkwardly. I felt like a child who was having to talk to the principal and explain something bad that had happened, even though I knew they weren't mad, just scared.

Their faces softened as I shifted under Soda's arm and under their pressing glances. Nothing but worry was in their eyes and somewhere inside it made me feel happy that this many people genuinely cared about me.

"Must've been one real bad nightmare to make you run out like that. Screaming bloody murder and everything." Steve said. Everyone looked at him with distasteful looks and then back to me. I know they thought it was a dumb question, knowing I probably didn't want to talk about it.

"Guys, it's fine. But, um, yeah. It was pretty bad. It was about my, um, it was about my parents." I struggled to even think about it without wanting to bolt again, but I restrained myself. I avoided looking at anyone.

No one said anything, know how sensitive of a topic this was for me, especially right now. "Let's go inside. It's cold out here." Darry said, breaking the awkward silence. We all nodded and headed in the warmth of the house.

We all sat down in the living room, none of us feeling calm enough to sleep. I felt bad for making everyone worry so much. I played with Soda's fingers as he kept his other arm tight around me, trying not to look at the gang.

The boys started to make small talk all the while trying to be sly at shooting glances at me, but I caught every one of them.

Soon the boys were all dozing into sleep, but I stayed wide awake, too afraid to fall back asleep. I just laid my head back and stared blankly at the ceiling. "You alright?" Soda whispered to me. The rest of the boys were already mostly asleep.

I jumped slightly, figuring that Soda was asleep too. I looked at him. "I guess. But don't worry about me, So. I'll be okay. I'm just a little shaken is all." I lied. I was terrified. It was hitting me just how much of a monster my father really was. The dream could've happened and I vaguely wondered if that's really what had happened. No. My mother wrote us suicide notes, I was just trying to make myself feel better. But I didn't want Soda to worry even more about me. I'd gotten good at hiding my emotions, so this wasn't hard, except for the fact that Soda could see right through me.

"You are such an awful liar." He said with worry in his eyes but a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"No, you just no me too well. But, I really think I'll be okay, eventually. I just need some time." I said.

"Take all the time you need, just please, please stay with me. Don't go into yourself like I know you did with Mason, alright? Promise me that." He whispered, his pleading eyes melting my heart.

I nodded. "I promise. Forever and always." I said and leaned forwards to kiss him. A smile played at his lips and I pulled away. "Now go to sleep. I probably won't get any, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. You've got work tomorrow." I mothered him.

"Andie, I feel bad leaving you here awake all alo-" He started but I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. I pulled away and laughed at his stunned face. "Now if you keep doing that, I sure ain't gonna get any sleep tonight." He said. I couldn't help but laugh at him and give him another kiss.

"Soda, go to sleep, I'll be okay." I told him. Of course he didn't listen to me and just looked at my face. I sighed and scooted onto his lap. He smiled at me as I leaned into him and started to trace designs on his chest.

We sat in content silence. I looked up to find him staring at me. "I love you Andie." He said.

I giggled at him. "I love you too, So." I told him and I tapped his nose like I love to do.

He just shook his head. We just stared at each other making faces at each other. Then I saw his eyes start to droop and get tired. "Soda, go to sleep." I told him. When he resisted, I covered his eyes with my hand. He took my hand and kissed my fingers. "Soda!" I whined.

He laughed at but finally nodded. "Okay, okay. I'm going to sleep. Love you." He said to me and kissed me quickly before leaning back. He got settled and closed his eyes and I cuddled into his chest. Soon tiredness overcame me and I was forced to close my eyes.

I woke up to an absence. Soda had already gone to work I figured so that left me with Two, Pony, and Johnny. They were all sitting in the living room. Two-Bit and Johnny were on the floor and Pony was in Darry's armchair as always. "What time is it?" I asked groggily.

Two-Bit turned around. "Morning Sleepyhead." He said and ruffled my hair like Darry does. I groaned tiredly. "It's about 10:40." He answered my question.

I nodded and relaxed back into the couch, willing my eyes to open. We sat there and watched Mickey Mouse for three agonizing hours. It seemed to be the only thing we watched around here and it was starting to get repetitive.

Thankfully, Soda and Steve got home soon. Their shift ended at 2:00. "Soda!" I screamed and nearly tackled him when they came home as I threw myself into his arms.

"Hello to you too." I heard him laugh. I smiled at him and gave him a hello kiss. "I see you're in a good mood." He said wrapping an arm around me.

I groaned dramatically. "Oh my gosh! Two-Bit's forcing us to watch Mickey Mouse. We've been watching it for three straight hours. I'm about to explode." I said theatrically.

Both of them just laughed at me. "Well you're gonna have to put up with it a little longer while I go get a shower. I probably reek." He said and walked off to his room. It was then that I noticed he was covered with grease and sweat.

"You bet you do, Loverboy." Two-Bit shouted from the living room. "I can smell ya from here." You could practically hear the grin on Two-Bit's face. I sighed and walked in there, placing myself back on the couch. I hit him in the head once just for good measure and laughed evilly when he flinched in pain.

Instead of actually watching the show, I kept pestering Two-Bit. I kept poking him in the back of his head, waiting for him to snap. Soon, he did. "That's it." He said as he reached around and dragged me to the floor.

He straddled my legs and dug his fingers into my sides. All the boys knew that tickling was my weakness and they used it to their advantage often. "Two-Bit..stop..please!" I said between breaths, laughing uncontrollably.

"Nope. You shoulda' thought about this before you started messing with me." He said and continued tickling me. Then, Soda walked in.

He shook his head laughing at us before placing himself on the couch where I had just been. Just then there was a knock at the door. Two-Bit stopped and we all looked up and then at each other nervously. We hadn't had very good luck with people knocking at the door in the past.

"I'll get it." Soda said and walked to the door. Me and Two-Bit just looked at each other and he rolled off of me. Sitting up I watched Soda open the door. I couldn't see who it was but I saw Soda visibly tense. "Sandy." He said. All of us exchanged shocked looks, silently trying to figure out what to do.

They all looked at me and I knew it was up to me to rescue Soda. I nodded and made my way over to the door. I placed a hand on Soda's shoulder and peered around him at Sandy. Anger welled up in me at the sight of her. I couldn't believe that she would have the nerve to come back.

She shifted uncomfortably under our looks as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Hey Soda." She said now making full eye contact with him and completely ignoring me.

"What are you doing here?" He said. I couldn't tell if he was sad or angry. It was somewhere in between. He was just confused on every level.

"I wanted to see you Soda. It's been a while. I just wanted to catch up." She said as if it were obvious what she was doing here.

His face started to mask over with what looked more like anger. "There's nothing to catch up on. You left. You told me you weren't coming back. You've got a kid now, so I moved on. What's there to catch up?" He said, hostility creeping up.

She looked away and I slipped my hand slyly into his. There were so many things I could say to her, but this was his fight not mine. "Soda, I just want things to go back to the way they were. I just want us to be happy again. Together. I want it to be you and me. You and me against the world Soda. I know I made a mistake, but is there any way you can forgive me and we can take things back?" She asked and took his other hand in both of hers. This was pushing it. Either she was oblivious to the fact that we were clearly together or she just didn't care. I didn't like her at all.

He pulled his hand away quickly and gave her a distasteful look. "No, Sandy. There isn't any way that I can trust you again. You ruined it, and you can't fix it. I'm perfectly happy without you so you can just forget about us alright? I'm done with this conversation." He said. Pain and anger were behind his words and under his feet as he walked away, leaving me here with her.

"Soda!" She said and started to follow him in when I stopped her by blocking her path. She gave me a strange look.

"I think you should leave, Sandy." I said. I was going to try and handle this in a mature way, but I could tell she wasn't going to make it easy.

"And who are you to say so?" She asked and turned her full attention to me as she took a step back. I was taller than her by a few inches and I wasn't going to back down. But neither was she. She stood straight and crossed her arms while I put my weight on one leg and leaned back, making it seem like I didn't care. I'd been a Greaser my entire life and only really lived with guys, so I knew how this went.

"I'm the girl who fixed everything _you_ broke in him." I said letting her know my dislike for her. She just gave me a blank look. I rolled my eyes at her. "Do you even know what you did to him? He didn't talk to anyone for a week. He barely left his room. He didn't even smile. _You_ did that to him. How can you expect him to just forget all of that and take you back?" I scoffed at her.

I could see anger and regret fighting in her face. "I never expect him to forget it, but I hoped he could forgive me and we could start over." She said. She didn't sound very angry, but you could plainly see that she didn't like me.

"Well I don't think that's a possibility, even if he wasn't taken. You made one of the biggest mistakes and it still isn't fully fixed, in case you couldn't tell." I said to her in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

Her face went cold. "Oh give it a break. Don't pretend you've never made a mistake before. I know what happened between you and Mason. You aren't as innocent as you make it seem." She said and glared me.

She really didn't know her limits. "That wasn't my fault. I didn't do _anything_ to him. don't let him fool ya' babe. Why don't you wait until you know both of the sides of the story before you come accusing me! You definitely aren't in position to judge any of us." I said getting angrier the longer this drug on.

Anger clearly filled every part of her. "Well he sounded pretty convincing when he came to me, begging me to help him. To distract him and to make him forget about the wretch he was with. He told me everything. Told me how annoying you were, always clinging to him and never letting him just rest without hassling him. He told me how much he wanted out of your relationship. He never loved you, he was just using you to make other girls jealous." She spat back at me.

That crossed the line. I wanted to hit her so bad, but I knew that wouldn't be good. I had to show her that I was the better person. "You know what? He doesn't deserve this and neither do I. Just leave Sandy. Leave and don't ever come back. I won't hold back if you do." I said spewing venom at her and slamming the door in her face.

I tried to control myself from screaming in frustration. She knew how to get in my head and that frustrated me. The boys were all staring at me, their faces a mix of approval and surprise. I ignored them and went to find Soda in his room.

He was laying on his bed just staring at the ceiling. I went and wormed my way under his arm and curled into him, laying my head and my hand on his chest. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "You alright?" I asked him, trying to mask my anger that was fading slowly.

"Yeah, she just caught me off-guard." He said. I nodded, knowing he would be able to fit pieces together if I spoke. "You seem tense. Are _you_ okay?" He asked knowingly.

I looked up to him and tried to relax. "Don't act like you didn't hear it too." I said and laughed at him. He smiled and nodded, and I knew he heard everything that happened. He began to slowly draw circles on my arm and I felt myself relax.

"You know you didn't have to do that. Argue with her like that." He said with shallow laughter.

"I know, but no one is stupid enough to see that we aren't together when we are standing right in front of them _holding hands_. I mean seriously? She did that on purpose. And even if she didn't see that, I don't think it's very hard to figure out. I mean it's not like I'm your sister. She would know. Plus, she just gives me a bad feeling and I didn't exactly want her to stick around." I ranted.

"Has anyone told you that you're cute when you're frazzled?" He said, saying the same thing I had told him many times before. I smiled at him.

"You'd be the first." I said and leaned up to kiss him. When I settled back down into my spot I thought about it. "You know, I think she wanted me to hit her." I said out of the blue.

He laughed. "Why would you think that?" He asked, clearly amused by how annoyed I sounded.

"Well I mean it wasn't like I was hiding the fact that I wanted to. She just kept egging me on. She wanted me to hit her so she could run off and complain to Mason who'd make it so much worse than it really was. No doubt she wouldn't tell him what really happened. She'd make it sound like I attacked her and eventually word would get around and I'd be sent straight off to that Girl's Home, freeing you up and giving her the chance she needs to get to you again." I explained.

He laughed at me again and I wasn't sure why. "You make it sound like she's some evil mastermind. She wouldn't do something that dramatic. She may have changed, but she'll never be like that. Trust me. You're way over-thinking it. She just wanted to get under your skin. She did the same thing to Two-Bit and Dally. She's not plotting against you." He said.

"Whatever. Either way, she's lucky I didn't hit her. She'd be feeling it for a week!" I said dramatically.

"You're silly." He said simply and kissed my head. We sat in each other's arms for a few minutes before he spoke again. "Let's go back out there." He said and we both walked back in to meet the boys.

Two-Bit was the first to speak when we sat down. "You should've hit her." He said plainly and continued to flip through channels on the t.v. It was obvious he was talking to me.

"Trust me Two-Bit I wanted too." I said to him with a hard laugh. "I really wanted to."

**A/N: I know, kinda a lame ending to the chapter but I wasn't sure what to put. I hope you liked it. I felt like some of the emotion changes were a little too fast but I wasn't really sure how to ease into the changes better...let me know if you thought the same or have any suggestions to help. Please Review!**


	19. The Beginning of the End

**A/N: Hey Everybody! This chapter is especially long for you guys. It's kinda intense and I'm super excited about it! Let me know what you think! R&R!**

_I've been a walking heartache_

_I've made a mess of me_

_The person that I've been lately_

_Ain't who I wanna be_

Everything that happened with Sandy put everyone in a funky mood. I was still trying to cool down from it, but I could sense that Soda was retreating into the past. He'd really loved this girl and it tore apart everything he was to have her leave and now she's back and it's like he's bursting at the seams again. I only hoped I knew how to fix them.

I tried to suppress my anger so that I wouldn't freak Soda out more, but it was incredibly challenging. It's not exactly easy to ignore something like that.

Running my hand through my hair I realized it had been a day or two since I'd had a good shower. With everything that had happened, it slipped my mind.

Disgusted, I stood up. "I'm gonna go home and get a shower. I'll be back later." I said. I expected Soda would just object and say I could shower here, but he didn't. He gave me somewhat of a worried and questioning look. I leaned down and kissed him. "I'm fine Soda, just gross." I whispered in his ear and laughed quietly. He rolled his eyes at me and relaxed as I headed out the door.

When I reached my door I stopped. The past two times I'd been here, it hadn't ended well for me, and I could only hope nothing bad would happen this time. I took a deep breath and walked in. We never left the door locked, mainly now because no one was home to care.

I could see signs that Rodney had been back. There were cigarette buds and empty beer bottles scattered across the floor, and you could definitely smell the alcohol. Rolling my eyes and hoping that I wouldn't find one of Tim Shepard's gang while walking, I made my way to my room. It was almost too familiar. It reminded me of what I used to be and my old life where everyone stayed and we were all happy.

It was painted a light yellow color and was a mess. Clothes and books were strewn across the floor and on the bed. The covers on my bed were all thrown off. It looked like a tornado had run through here. I knew I didn't leave it this dirty, but I didn't exactly want to think about what could've happened in here to make it look this way.

I found a towel and headed for the shower when I heard the phone ring. I had been in my own little world and it scared me. Ever since my father tried to kill me I had been real jumpy over everything. It was really starting to annoy me because every time I did it, I got a worried look from at least one member of the gang. They just didn't seem to understand that I was gonna be okay and they didn't have to wait for me to bolt because I wasn't going to do that. I just wish they'd let me be.

Hurriedly I made my way downstairs to the phone. I really didn't want to talk to anyone right now, I mean I haven't exactly had good luck with people lately. "Hello?" I said as I answered the phone trying not to sound paranoid like I was.

"Hello. Is this Andrea Westbrook?" A voice that I didn't recognize asked. She sounded very helpful and frazzled, but yet somehow very under control at the same time. She was definitely from the state and that had me worried. I knew it had to do with my mother's funeral and I wasn't ready to talk about that.

"Yes, ma'am. This is her." I replied politely.

"Ok. My name is Melissa Jenkins and I've been assigned to help plan out your mother's funeral. So I would like to be able to get the details on dates ironed out today if at all possible."

"Okay, so where do we start?" I hopped up on the counter, knowing this may take a while.

"Well first, we need to determine how to take care of her body. Did she have any requests on that? For example, did she wish to be cremated or buried?"

"Um, I don't think so. We didn't exactly talk about things like this. It was very sudden."

"Of course. I'm so sorry. Well, do you or your brother have any preferences? You know what, I'm getting ahead of myself. Is your brother even there?" She asked.

"Um, no he's not here. Will that be an issue?" I asked innocently.

"Well, it is both of your mother's funeral so you should both have a say in it. So, I'm gonna just give you my number and you can call me when he's there. This would probably be easier to do in person anyways, so just give me a call when you and your brother are both free and we can set up an appointment. Does that sound good?"

I hesitated, knowing that it would be incredibly difficult to get together with Rodney to do this. Him and I were in a bit of a very rough spot in our relationship right now. At this point I wasn't even sure how we were going to do the funeral because I knew my gang would be there, but I wasn't sure about his. "Yes ma'am. That might work. I'll give you a call when I know. Thank you for doing this for us."

"It's no problem, Sweetheart. I just want to help. I know this is probably very hard on both you and your brother." She said, her country accent and charm ringing through. You could hear the age in her voice as she talked, but she wasn't old. Probably about 30-something. She sounded oddly happy for the job she had though. I muffled a thank-you and a goodbye and stalked back to the bathroom.

I took a rather long shower and it was one of the best I've ever taken. I felt happy and carefree when I got out feeling like my fears and doubts were melted away, but I knew they'd come back. They always did.

After I got dressed I got a little distracted. I was walking aimlessly around my house and I'm not entirely sure why. I somehow ended up back at my mother's dresser. Something had caught my eye and lured me in. Mom's old necklace. It was a beautiful necklace. It was a small golden ring and on the bottom of that ring was a sun with it's golden rays flowing up to the top, almost resembling flames, dangling on a thin gold chain. She wore this necklace every single day when she was still here.

Acting on impulse I picked it up and very delicately put it on. I clasped my fingers around the pendant and closed my eyes. I felt as if she were there with me, and it all just felt right.

Smiling, I left the room, my mother's necklace still around my neck. I found myself sitting at our piano. Another thing my mom had an extreme talent and passion for. She played it frequently and she even insisted on teaching me, and I found I loved it as much as she did. Ever since the thing with Mason, though, I stopped playing. I just couldn't find the same joy and peace in it.

Unsure of myself, I began to slowly tap out certain keys until my fingers were flowing through a song I used to love to play. The music seemed to dance through the air, filling this empty house with life again. I could feel my mother watching me, and I forgot, if only for a moment that she was dead and that I really was alone.

When I opened my eyes a huge smile was plastered on my face. "You have a real gift, Andie." A voice spoke from behind me. I jumped so hard that I banged my hands on the piano on accident, filling the air with a horrid noise.

I turned around to see Soda staring lovingly at me. I placed my hand on my chest, trying to catch my breath. "Geez Soda. Don't sneak up on me like that. You scared me nearly to death." I said with a small laugh. I left out the part where I thought it was my Dad or a member of the Shepard gang. No need to make him feel bad about it.

He flashed his movie-star smile at me and I melted. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose, just to see me nearly swoon over him. "Yeah, I could tell." He laughed as he walked over to me and I stood up to meet him halfway.

I laughed as I walked into his arms. "What are you doing over here anyways?" I asked curiously.

"Well, it's been a while since you left and with everything that's happened the past little while, I figured I'd come check to make sure you were okay. And your door was unlocked so I just came in." He said, almost sheepishly.

I chuckled. "Well I'm fine. You didn't have to come check on me." I told him as I pulled away and made my way to the kitchen, hunger coming over me.

I heard him following me as I scoured through the fridge and cupboards for food but didn't find anything I wanted. I knew I'd have to go shopping soon. Well, I guess I'd have to get a job first. I sighed. "I know I didn't have to, but I was worried." He said and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. He was quiet for a moment. "You're really talented on the piano, you know that right?" He asked.

I felt the heat rush up to my cheeks. I hadn't played the piano in at least a year and a half, so I didn't think it sounded good. "You're just saying that. It really didn't sound that good; I haven't played in so long." I said and wormed my way out of his arms to search the cupboards more.

He walked back to the piano which was just in the other room and not separated by a wall or anything so I could still see him. He looked through the stacks of music but sat down on the music bench. "No, really. You sound very good, especially for not playing a while. I'd probably sound horrible, and you weren't even looking at music. It's pretty impressive." He commented.

I smiled and went to sit by him. "You wouldn't sound that bad. It just takes practice." I said and stared at the keys. He grabbed my hand, but I continued to stare at the piano. "She taught me to play. We used to play it together, my Mom and I. It was our biggest bond." I said, almost to myself. Memories flashed through my mind, making me smile, but reminded me she was gone. "I miss her, Soda."

His comforting arm went around my shoulder. "I know you do. I do too." He said. I knew he wasn't talking about missing my mom; he didn't know her. He was talking about his parents. Both of his.

I reached up and laced my fingers through his. Neither of us shed a tear. We just sat there in each others embrace. "How long have we been gone?" I asked him suddenly.

He looked around for a clock. "About an hour. But I doubt they'd be expecting us back anytime soon, so we got some time to kill. That's good. I don't think we've really had any time to ourselves in a long time." He replied.

I leaned into him. "Yeah, I guess it is nice." I said. I stood up feeling restless. "You wanna go for a walk? I can't stand it in here anymore." I said. I held out my hand for him.

He nodded as he took my hand and followed me out the door, our fingers intertwined. We walked slowly through the park in the mid-day heat. "You are so beautiful." I heard him say randomly from beside me.

The heat rushed back up to my cheeks as I stared at my shoes. I rarely got called beautiful, or even pretty. I knew Soda meant it when he said it, but I wasn't sure if _I_ fully believed him. There was a time when I would've, but after what I did to myself, I never looked at myself the same. Soda had seen every single one of the demons inside me, and I knew that the darkness inside of me wasn't anywhere near pretty, and I felt like it spread all over, inside and out. "I'm not beautiful, Soda. Maybe I used to be, but not anymore." I whispered.

He stopped, grabbing my chin and making me look at him. "Would I lie to you? No. You have no idea how absolutely stunning you are. My heart nearly stops every time I see you smile. You are the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on." He said, cradling my face in his hands.

I was stunned. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me. "Soda," I left it hanging, not knowing what to say. I couldn't tell him that I believed him know. It just wasn't that easy. I still didn't feel beautiful.

"Andrea, you are beautiful, and I'll tell you every day until you believe me." He said, determination in his voice. I gave him a weak smile and a nod. I wanted to believe I was beautiful, but willing it to happen won't make it. "You have no idea the affect you have on me." He said as he stared at my face. "Gosh, I love you." He said with a nervous laugh and put his forehead against mine

I smiled wide at him and reached up to place my hand on his face. "I could say the same about you." I said and leaned in to kiss him. His hands lowered to my waist and pulled me closer to him and I locked my fingers in his hair. I couldn't believe how perfectly we fit together. I truly believed that we were meant to be.

The hum of an engine tore us apart. He looked over my shoulder and tensed up. I turned around quickly and saw a blue mustang heading slowly our way. Socs. "Do we run?" I asked quietly. I'd been jumped by Socs before, but every time it still scares me.

Soda pulled me slightly behind him protectively and pulled out his switch. "No. They've already seen us, running would only make it worse. Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you." He said. I knew he was tough, but he couldn't hold off a whole group of Socs on his own.

He hitched his thumbs in his pocket as the car stopped and five tough-looking Socs came out and headed our way. I tried to mask my fear with a look of not caring. They seemed to feed off of fear. I knew that from experience.

"Hey Grease." The guy in front who I assumed was their leader said. He was tall and bulky, like most Socs are. He had deep black hair and ice cold blue eyes that went well with his red letterman jacket.

Soda just glared at him. "You should learn your manners, Grease. Or else we might just have to teach you some. For starters, why don't you introduce us to that fine-looking broad you got there." The leader said cockily, looking me up and down like I was a piece of meat.

Soda held up his switch-blade towards him. "Take one step towards her and I'll use it." He said, his voice low and threatening, scaring even me.

The leader of the Socs turned back to Soda and laughed. "You really think that one little Greaser with a blade could stand a chance against five Socs? You'd be mistaken." He said and took a step towards us, the rest of them following suit and soon we were surrounded.

That's when all Hell broke loose. When the leader of them reached us he quickly slugged Soda in the face, causing him to fall into the arms of two Socs behind us, and he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me too him, my back against his chest.

I struggled to get away from him but he held me to him easily. He roughly grabbed my face and forced me to look at Soda, who was being held by one Soc on either arm while the other's were taking turns abusing him. "You see, that's what happens when you live on the wrong side of town. You tend to forget just who's boss around here. We just feel the need to remind you all sometimes." He said.

I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin as he leaned in to kiss my neck lightly. I shivered, certainly not out of delight, though that's what he thought. "There you go. I'll bet your little boyfriend doesn't make you feel like that. Now does he?" He whispered and began to kiss up and down my jaw. I wanted out of his grasp so badly, but couldn't get my feet to move. Deep in my head I knew it would only make it worse anyway.

"No, he makes me feel so much better. Now let me go!" I said and found the will to move, though it did no good.

He laughed huskily. "You're a feisty one aren't ya? I like 'em feisty." He said as his hand traveled dangerously low down the front of me, his hand worming it's way underneath the hem of my shirt. He had my hands restrained so I couldn't fight it. Slowly, his hand began to travel up.

His hand was on my stomach when I couldn't take it. "Please stop. Please." I quietly begged him.

He stopped, but didn't remove his hand. "You know, I find begging _extremely_ attractive." He whispered in my ear as his hand started to inch it's way up again.

Then, he froze. "It would be in your best interest to let her go." A menacing voice said from behind us. I instantly knew who it was. Rodney. I felt the Soc's hand slowly fall. "Don't think I won't use it. Let go of her. Now." Rodney said.

The other Socs stop tormenting Soda and they all looked to us. Soda's eyes widened at the sight of what was happening. If the Socs didn't still have such a grip on him, I knew he would come and knock this kid out, but he couldn't.

The one holding me slowly pulled his hand out from my shirt and released me. Not wasting any time, I rushed away from him and turned to see what was happening. I made sure to stay out of reach of the other four Socs.

Rodney had a heater pressed up against the back of the Soc's head and looked pissed. "Good. Now take your friends and go, or I'll pull the trigger. I wouldn't regret it for a minute. I've spent to much time with Shepard to care about whether or not you die here and now or not. The decision's yours." He said.

The Soc looked at his friends and they released Soda and followed him back to his Mustang. "This ain't over Grease! We will find you again, and next time, we'll be prepared!" He screamed as he drove off.

I threw myself down at Soda's side on the ground. They had thrown him down when they let go of him. He had a hand on his stomach as he sat up. Bruises were forming on his face already, along with a few bleeding cuts. Overall, he looked pretty rough and incredibly weak.

That all changed when he saw me. "Andrea! Are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?" He asked and frantically started to look over me.

I gently reached out and grabbed his face in my hands, trying not to touch any of his cuts or bruises. "Soda." He stopped freaking out and looked at me. "I'm fine. You're the one who needs help. You're bleeding." I told him and started to help him to his feet.

"Eh, I've had worse." He said. That was my Soda. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

I nearly forgot that Rodney was there until he spoke. "You know, I hate to break up this little love fest, 'cuz really, it's adorable, but I need to talk to you Andrea." He said sarcastically.

I turned to face him, the smile on my face gone. I didn't exactly want to talk to him. Soda tensed beside me as he got closer to, but not in front of me. He knew this was a battle for me to fight. "What do you want Rodney?" I asked, making it seem like I was bored with this conversation already.

He shifted awkwardly as I watched him. He looked the same as he always has. Jet-black hair all slicked back. Hazel eyes that look like a storm when he's angry. Same tall, linky structure and his smirky grin. Though, his grin was gone as he rubbed his face with his hand like I do when I'm stressed. Guess it runs in the family.

"Andrea, I know I've been a real jerk lately. Tim, he got to me. Filled my head with wild things that I believed and he changed me. But after what happened that night with him and Mason and everybody, I realized just how brainwashed I was. I confronted him about it. I didn't like what he was doing to you and we had made a pact when I joined him that he'd leave my family alone, but then he said that you weren't my family and it didn't matter. Andrea, I want it to matter, alright? I want us to be a family again. Me and you, we're all we got left. I'm sorry for what I've done, but I'm trying hard to change that; to make it right. I really am. Please, Andrea?" He rambled like he does when he's nervous.

I was torn. He seemed genuine, but I still wasn't sure that he _could_ change. "Look, Rodney. I appreciate what you did back there, but saving my skin once doesn't really change much. It doesn't prove anything." I said. I tried to keep the feeling out of my words, but I couldn't do it. Because, truthfully, this is all I've wanted for a while, is to be a real family again. Now that it's here, I wasn't so sure I could do it.

"Andrea, I'm really tryin' here. Please just give it a shot. I promise, I can change." He said. His eyes were hard to say no to, but I still couldn't trust him.

"Rodney, I, I just, I don't know what to say right now. Or what to think. After everything that's happened, _now_ you decide to show up at my door and ask me to forget what you've done. It's not that easy. I needed you Rodney. I needed you to be there for me, but you never were. You don't know how much it tore me up inside to watch you change. You used to be my hero. The person I always wished I could be like. And then you just ran off with Tim Shepard and forgot about me. I almost _died_ because you weren't there to stop it. It never would've come to any of this if you had just stayed. It never should have.

"You know, I think about it a lot. About what life would be like if you had just stayed with us. Maybe Mom and Dad wouldn't have fought so much. Maybe Dad wouldn't have abused her. Maybe neither of them would be gone right now. Did you ever think about that? I've got a question for you Rodney: Did you ever think for a second that maybe, just maybe, I needed you more than Tim Shepard?" I finished. Anger ran through me. I'm not sure where all that came from, but it felt good to say it and get it off my chest. Tears were threatening to show and my throat tightened up. I forced it back. I could not cry in front of him.

Both boys were staring at me, neither sure of what to say, but I kept my eyes fixed on my brother. I knew I had hit a soft spot with what I said, but he needed to hear it. He needed to know the damage he'd done. "Andrea, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that. I knew this would happen, that you wouldn't let me back, but I just want to let you know that I quit Tim's gang. But I guess that won't change anything." He said and looked at me, hope and defeat in his cloudy eyes. I was struck dumb. Guilt ran over me. "So I guess this is goodbye, then." He said when I stayed silent and turned to walk away.

"Rodney, wait!" I called and ran over to him. He turned just in time for me to go straight into his arms. He was surprised, but soon wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry Rodney. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I was just angry. Please, come home. I miss you." I whispered. He probably thought I was on some weird medication that made me have some severe mood-swings. I honestly thought that sometimes too, but I knew I didn't want to lose my brother for good, and this was my only chance to get him back.

"Are you sure?" He asked. This was the Rodney I remembered. The one who wouldn't argue back and always made sure of things before he did them. He really was trying to change.

"Yeah, Rodney. Come home. I still need ya." I said and pulled away to smile at him.

"I missed you too, Rea." He said. I smiled at his old name for me. Geez. How many different nicknames could these boys pull out of my name? It was starting to amaze me.

That's when I noticed Soda. He wasn't full on glaring, but it was pretty close. I gave Rodney a pleading look and he gave a small nod. I made my way over to Soda. "Andie, are you sure about this? I mean think about it for a minute! Look at all he's done!" He loud-whispered.

"Soda, please. He's the only family I've got left. I know he's done some bad things but he really is trying to change. Please Soda. He's my brother. Just give him a chance. For me?" I begged him to understand.

He looked at my face for a moment, before pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "Alright. But he makes one wrong move and he's outta here, ya dig?" He whispered.

I smiled and nodded. Grabbing his hand, I lead him over to Rodney. "I don't think you guys have formally met. Rod, this is Soda. Soda, Rodney." I introduced them. They already knew who each other were, I was just trying to get them to talk. Unsuccessfully.

I sighed and turned to the house, leading them both towards it. Soda had a death grip on my hand and I knew he was still uneasy about this. Rodney looked very uncomfortable about it too, and it made the whole situation really awkward.

I didn't think about how I was going to explain this to the gang until we were on the steps to Soda's house. This was the first time I've ever been somewhat scared to go in there. Hesitantly, I walked in, bracing myself for the worst.

"Hey lovebi-What is _he _doing here?" Two-Bit cut his own self off when he looked up to find Rodney behind me. He looked as if he was ready to jump on him at any second. The whole gang was there, except Dally of course, and they all hopped up and rushed over at the sight of my brother. They all looked super mad.

"Guys, please. Try to understand, it's, it's complicated." I thought of a way to tell them, but I couldn't come up with anything.

The gang looked at Soda for an explanation. "He left the Shepard Gang and now he's coming back begging to be a part of her 'family' again. He says he's changed." Soda relayed to them, obvious doubt in his voice.

This was going to be harder than I thought. The whole gang was busy glaring at Rodney and I knew there would be no convincing them while he was still here. I turned to see him with his thumbs hitched in his pockets, not taking his eyes off the gang. He looked like he was ready to fight. _Not helping._ I thought and gave him a look that spoke volumes. He nodded slightly. "I guess I'll go home. See you later, Andrea?" He asked as he walked out.

"Yeah. In a little bit." I said and watched him leave. When he was far enough away I turned back around to face the gang. Soda had let go of my hand and was standing with the other boys in front of me.

As soon as I turned around I was bombarded with questions and harsh words. "What are you thinking, Andrea? He's one of them! He's never gonna change!" Were just some of the ones I picked out of the bunch.

"Guys, look. I know he's done a bunch of bad things, but he's changing and I have to believe him when he says he is. No matter what he's done, at the end of the day he's still my brother, and I still love him. He's the only family I got left and he's trying to make it work, just please. Try to at least get along? Can you do that? Just please." I begged.

"That's where you're wrong. You've got us. We're your family. You're like a little sister to all of us, well, except for Soda, but still. Aren't we family enough without him?" Two-Bit asked.

I sighed. "You know that's not what I meant. I love you guys like family and I would never do anything to hurt you guys. Just try to understand. Please. I'm not asking you to accept him as part of the gang, just to accept him as my brother. And if you guys care about me as much as I think you do, you'll at least try to get along with him. It'll be rough, but just please. Try?" I pleaded.

Ponyboy spoke next. "Andrea, you know we care about you. That's the reason we're hesitant to agree to this. He hit you Andrea! You can't just expect us to forget that. You've said that people aren't gonna hurt you before, and yet you always end up getting hurt. We just don't want that to happen again." The rest of the gang nodded.

"I know you do, Pony. And no, I don't expect you to forget it, because I won't, but I just want us to move on. Besides, I egged him on then. It was partly my fault. It won't happen again, and I swear to you if it does, I'll let you guys take care of it, I promise. Just please, at least try." I pleaded with them, even though I was looking at Ponyboy. I was running out of ways to persuade them to do this.

They were all silent for a moment as they looked at each other. "Okay. But if he so much as lays a finger on you in the wrong way, he's done. Deal off. No second chances. Got it?" Darry said.

A wide smile broke out on my face as I nodded. I threw myself into his arms. "Thanks, Dar. You guys are the best!" I said in relief. I knew nothing bad would happen, or at least I strongly believed it. I knew if anything bad did happen, I'd never be able to see my brother again. The gang wouldn't let me.

I went down the line and hugged each of them. I hugged Soda last, and I lingered in his arms longer than I did with the others. "I love you." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too. Forever and always." He whispered back. The rest of the gang had gone back to whatever they were doing.

I nodded in agreement and pulled away. "I'm gonna go talk to Rodney." I said as I made my way towards the door.

"If anything happens-" Soda started.

"You'll be the first to know. I promise. I love you, So." I finished for him and he nodded as I walked out the door and over to my house to finally put in place another piece of my life I had been missing.

_But you stay here right beside me_

_Watch as the storm blows through_

_And I need you_

**A/N: How many of you expected that? I'm excited for where this one event takes this story...I've got it all planned out ;) Anyways, so in this chapter Andrea mentions how she needs to get a job...I wanna know what you think. Where should she work? Any suggestions are open. Just let me know! As always please review!**


	20. Hesitant Acceptance

**A/N: Hey Y'all! Sorry about the long wait. I had to turn in my school issued laptop. So I have to use the big computer at home which will mean it will take longer to update! Sorry about that! I'll do the best I can. This is kinda a short chapter but enjoy! Please Review!**

Rodney was sitting on our couch and flipping through channels, but quickly shut it off and looked at me when I walked in. "So...what did they say?" He asked hopefully.

I sat on the couch opposite of him. "Well, they said it's fine, but if you do one thing wrong thing, they won't take it lightly." I said as if it were nothing. I wasn't really sure what to say to him. We hadn't had a real conversation in about two years, and we both had changed.

"Oh. Well that's just lovely now ain't it? Now I gotta watch everything I do and say so I don't mess it up. That's just fantastic." He said sarcastically. He rubbed his face with his hand.

"Rodney, you said you were gonna try. This is just part of the deal. If you don't want to deal with it, then you can forget being a family. They're pretty dang serious and I wouldn't mess with them." I told him and pulled my legs up into the chair. I really hoped that I hadn't made a mistake in allowing this to happen. If he backed out now, I don't think I could take it.

He looked at me with a face of almost sadness. "Andrea, I ain't backing out, I'm just saying, these guys seem real...uptight." He said in a disapproving manner.

"Rod, they just care about me. They're like family, like...older brothers. They really are anything but uptight, well except for Darry, but that's a different story. Just give 'em a chance, will ya?" I asked.

He gave a sharp laugh. "Older brothers eh? Seems to me that you're getting kinda cozy with that one boy in the park." He said in disdain, putting on the cocky smirk he'd picked up from Tim.

I sighed. "Rodney, I'm not gonna have this conversation with you. Just because I'm dating Soda doesn't change the fact that their like family to me, and I'm just asking you to respect that." I said, frustrated that neither Rodney or the gang could talk about each other without doing or saying something resembling disgust.

He sighed and looked around for a minute before saying anything. "Rae, I'm sorry. It's just that, they've not exactly been my favorite people for the past few years. Ya know, rival gangs and whatnot." He said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess." I said awkwardly, my confidence in this situation fading dramatically. "So, um, how've you been, Rod?" I asked, growing very uncomfortable with this.

He seemed to feel just as uncomfortable as I was. "I've been good, I guess. This whole thing with Mom was a big surprise, though. And what Dad did." He said. I looked away, fighting the tears that came with thinking about it. "How are you holding up? I guess it...hit harder for you." He said and gave me a somewhat concerned look.

"Yeah, it's hard, but I try not to think about it. It's not exactly something I like to think about. Still can't really believe it happened." I said, and began to play with tassels on a pillow that was next to me.

"Andrea." He said and waited until I looked at him. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop it. I think about how it would've been different if I had. I'm sorry." He said growing quiet.

I paused for a moment. Did he really think about it? Did he really feel that bad about it? "Rodney, don't feel bad about it. It wasn't your fault. Besides, it all worked out, didn't it? I'm fine." I said.

"You've got a weird definition of things working out." He said under his breath.

I let that slide, knowing he was probably right but somewhere inside me was that feeling that I couldn't let him know he was right. It's a sibling thing. I stayed silent, thinking over the day and what I was doing. "Would you really have shot that kid?" I asked him, changing the subject.

He looked at me sharply and then rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I don't know. I probably would've if he kept going, but I've never actually shot anyone before. I don't know if I'd have the guts to really do it, but I don't exactly want to find out." He said.

I nodded. I'd hoped he'd say something like that. That's something the old Rodney would've said. He was never fond of heaters and didn't see a point in using them. "Was it even loaded?" I asked.

He laughed. "I have no idea. I stole it from Tim when I left, so it probably is. Either way, it'll teach them not to mess with my little sister." He said and flashed a smile and a wink at me. I missed his smiles. I just missed everything about Rodney. The real Rodney.

"I've missed you Rod." I said as I studied him, not sure if this was a dream or not. He looked the same as he always did, just a little bigger. He really just didn't age.

"Yeah, I've missed you too Rae." He said and we sat there, staring at each other. "You look like you're doing alright though. With those boys. They treat you good?" He asked.

A smile broke out on my face. "Yeah, Rod, they're real good to me. You don't got to worry about me." I said. He just nodded. "So how exactly do you go about getting out of Shepard's gang?" I asked curiously.

"Well it's not as hard as it may seem. I went up to him because I didn't like what he did that night. He promised me you wouldn't get hurt when I joined the gang, but I guess he didn't think I'd care anymore. But he's wrong. I tried to block it all out but seeing you there with Mason that night, I realized I really did care about you. That I did all along. So I went to him after a couple days and when he kept telling me to forget about you, I guess I just kinda over reacted and I left. He didn't even argue. So I came and found you, and here we are." He explained.

I nodded, not sure what to say to that. I was glad that he would stand up for me. It let me know that he really was going to try for this. We talked for a few more hours before we both fell asleep.

I went to the DX around lunch the next day. I tried to get Rodney to come but he said something about them not getting along and didn't come. The chime of the bell on the door greeted me as I walked into the small gas station's store. "Hey Beautiful." Soda said when he saw me, making me blush.

"Heya' Handsome." I said and he winked at me. Butterflies erupted in my stomach when he did that. He could probably tell as I walked behind the counter and kissed him.

"So how's Rodney?" He asked when we pulled apart. There was something hidden in his words that I wasn't quite sure of. It wasn't exactly angry or hateful, but it was almost close to jealousy.

"He's good. He's really tryin' So. I know you don't think so but he is." I said, knowing what he thought about my brother. I admit, it did seem strange that he came back now, but I didn't think anything bad of it.

"Andie, I know you say that but I just don't get it. But why would he come back now? I mean, he hit you not even three weeks ago and now that your parents are gone he comes back pleading to feel sorry and to always have cared about you. That doesn't seem the slightest bit weird to you?" He said as we walked into the back.

Steve was out in the garage working on a car so we were alone in the store. Soda sat in his normal spiny chair and I sat on the small table in there. "Yeah, I guess it is a little weird when you think about it like that. But, Soda you have to understand. I'm not the only who lost my parents. They were his too. No matter how tough Rodney claims to be he loved them just as much as I did and it probably tore him up, and in case you didn't know Tim isn't exactly sympathetic. We need each other. So he came back. This isn't some weird master-mind plan to hurt me, Soda." I said.

"I don't know. It still just bothers me that he thinks that he can skip out on everything important in your life and then come back with bug goo-goo eyes and expect you to accept him back that fast." He said, clearly agitated.

"Soda, I know he wasn't there through this whole thing, but you can't hold that against him forever. It's not like you've never made a mistake before. He's back now and he's really trying, and that's good enough for me. Can't we just clean the slate and pretend like none of it happened?" I asked, trying to get him to understand that the past didn't matter to me anymore.

"How do you expect to just forget everything that he's done? Or, more accurately, what he _hasn't _done?" He said. He sounded very close to angry, and I only hoped it wasn't directed at me. I had to put this to an end.

I hopped off the table and walked over to him and held his face in my hands, making him look into my eyes. "Soda, please. Let's just forget that I said anything, okay? I don't want this to come between us. No matter if he is my brother, you'll always be my number one, alright? I mean it when I say I love you. And love means trusting, and I need you to just trust me on this, okay? If I'm wrong you can even tell me 'I told you so.'" I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He gave me a half-hearted smile. "He could never break us apart. I mean it when I say forever and always." He said and leaned forward to place his lips on mine. He pulled away and became serious again. "I'm not mad at you Andie, it's him. Because if he _does_ hurt you, I don't know if I'll be able to control myself and you know the gang won't be able to, and that'll hurt you more. To see him get hurt and to lose him again. I don't want that to happen." He said, sadness in his eyes.

I hadn't thought about that. Soda didn't hate him as much as I thought. He just didn't want to hurt me, or to watch me get hurt. "I know, Soda. It'll all work out I promise." I said and stared into his smooth eyes.

"I hope so." He said and then smiled. "Have I ever told you you're beautiful?" He said with a wink. Once again my heart melted.

I blushed. "Maybe once or twice." I said and climbed into his lap. "You're really gonna keep it up aren't you?" I asked. I though he was just exaggerating last night when he said he was going to do it.

"I will until you believe me. Just like I told you I would. I made a promise, and I don't break my promises." He said and wrapped his arms around my waist.

A bratty smile broke onto my face. "Well I may just never tell you that I believe you. Girls like to hear that kinda stuff." I said and winked at him.

He kissed my temple. "Then I'll never stop telling you how gorgeous you are." He whispered in my ear, making me blush furiously.

"You're not so bad yourself, Handsome. You got girls drooling over you." I said dramatically with a smile.

"Well than you should feel special that I'm staying with your stubborn butt." He said jokingly.

"Oh whatever. You know you like my butt. Don't act like you don't stare at it." I said, making him blush. That would be a first. I smiled in victory.

"Guilty as charged." He said devilishly as I felt his hand start to drift down slowly.

"Soda!" I said as I hit his chest. He brought his hand back up and winked at me, laughing. I couldn't help but follow suit.

"Hey, I can't help it if I've got a hot girlfriend!" He said, as if that made it so much better.

I rolled my eyes. "What am I gonna do with you?" I said shaking my head and leaned into him.

"I got a few ideas." He said mischievously and suggestively.

I looked at him, utterly surprised. He's never acted like this before. "What's gotten into you?" I said, laughing.

"You. You mess with my head. Your just so amazing that I don't even know what to think! Heck, I _can't_ even think around you!" He said, happy as ever.

I smiled at him. He was just so dang sweet. Leaning in towards him I taunted him by hanging an inch away from his face. "You're pretty amazing yourself." I said before he closed the distance.

I laughed into the kiss. This was the happiest I've ever been. I finally got my brother back and I was in the arms of the boy I was absolutely madly in love with. Life couldn't get much better.

"Ahh, gosh would you cut it out! You love each other; we get it! Stop trying to eat each other!" Steve said as he walked in the small room. Soda and I both jumped, having been in our own world together and laughed sheepishly, fire burning in both our cheeks.

"Sorry I'm not sorry Stevie!" I said to him, using the pet-name I knew he hated. He turned and gave me a half-hearted glare before walking out again, a magazine in hand.

Soda and I just looked back into each other's eyes stealing kisses every once and a while. "I guess I gotta get back to work, Babe." He said with a sad, yet incredibly happy look in his eyes.

"Guess I better get back to Rodney anyways." I said before getting up, him close behind. He didn't look very pleased but he seemed to perk up again when I stole another kiss. "Love you, So!" I said as I started towards the door.

"Love you too, Andie!" He replied as he went to stand next to Steve.

"Man, she is _fine_! Wish I could get a girl like her to totally make out with a guy like me, pretty much every day." I heard Steve say quietly as I walked out the door. "OW!"

"Keep your eyes off my girl! But, ah Man, let me tell you, she's _real _fine!" I heard Soda say. I laughed as I heard the door shut behind me. I hoped the gang didn't have conversations like that about me often. That'd be awkward.

As soon as I walked in the door Rodney was telling me things. "A lady from the State called. Melissa Jenkins or something like that. Said she'd talked to you before and wanted you to call her back." He said and looked towards the phone.

I nodded and began to look for the card I had written her number on. "Yeah. She's helping with funeral arrangements for Mom. She wanted to wait 'till you were here too so we could talk about it together." I explained as I found the number and dialed it and pressed speaker so he could hear.

He nodded as we listened to the rings. A sadness came over us as we thought about Mom. "Hello, this is Melissa Jenkins from the State of Oklahoma, how may I help you?" She recited. She sounded as happy as she did last time and I knew that if circumstances were different, I would've really liked her.

"Um hi, Mrs. Jenkins. This is Andrea Westbrook, I heard you called for me earlier." I said.

"Yes I did. I was just checking to see if your brother was around yet."

"Yeah, he's back. He's right here."

"Fantastic! Did you want to do this over phone or did you want to come in for an appointment? Either way will work."

I looked at Rodney and without a word we both new. "Let's do this over phone. Easier for the both of us." I said.

"Alright, well than let's get started!"

The planning process was long and tiring. I had no idea there were so many components to planning a funeral, but I guess there are. It was set for August 17th, a month and a half from now, and I was dreading every second that brought us closer to it.

**A/N: Sooo I usually wait until I have 5 reviews and I didn't get that on the last chapter. Kinda bummed about that so please try and be better and review!**


	21. Just an UpdateSorry but please read!

**Hey everybody! Sorry this isn't a real chapter, I swear I have it written on paper I just don't have my laptop and don't have the time to transfer it to this computer! But I just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't stopped with this story! I swear I will update by August 27 AT THE LATEST! At the earliest probably August 20th...I know it's an entire month but I promise it'll be worth it..I'll probably put up two or three at once depending on how fast I can transfer and edit. But I also wanted to let y'all know that I am going to change the name of this story to 'Rays in the Storm.' It fits this story a lot better. When I originally started it was going to be a completely different story plot sooo if you were waiting for the title to make sense it really won't ever unless you have some sort of really complex mind that fund some symbolic match-up...but I just thought I should let you guys know what's going on. Don't forget to check in around the end of August! I love you all!**


	22. Mixed Emotions

**A/N: Hey Guys! It's been a while and I'm sorry for that. I didn't have a computer for a long time and I finally got it back today so I hope you like this!**

_I do have one_

_Burning question_

_Who told you life wasn't_

_Worth the fight_

_They were wrong, they lied_

The next six weeks were incredibly tense. I was completely stressed out with the funeral coming so soon and making sure my boys were getting along. Some days I felt like I was the mother of seven bickering boys: breaking up arguments before they got too serious and having to keep it that way. I just had to get away a lot, but knew I couldn't. Everyone was on end and if I wasn't there to break it up they might kill each other. Occasionally there was a day when I could be alone. A day when Rod wasn't around and I could sit at home at really think and relax. But recently I had forgotten how to truly relax. My parents filled the air in my house and I couldn't stand to be there but it was the only place I could truly have some alone time.

August 17th came way to fast. I seriously debated just staying in bed and not going-didn't want to be reminded of what had happened-and I probably would have if Rodney hadn't come and drug me out of bed that morning.

Soon we both trudged solemnly out to his car and drove to where the funeral was. It was some place I had never been before and had never even heard of. It was on Soc territory-the state just didn't understand how dangerous for us that was-and neither of us relaxed once we crossed the tracks.

It was a large brick building with no visible windows. I noticed there were two cop cars and one silver mustang in the parking lot, along with a few other cars. Rodney and I walked in together, my small black heels clicking on the polished ground as we entered the daunting doors. There were a few rows of foldable chairs on the far side of the room in front of a deep mahogany coffin. There were pots of flowers surrounding it; beautiful flowers that could easily trick someone into happiness. The sweet aroma of the flowers filled the room, but nothing could ever make this day sweet.

I stopped when I saw this all in front of me. There wasn't any turning back now. Rodney put his arm around my shoulders and pulled slightly, knowing I wouldn't go further without it. I was fighting the rush of tears that was just behind my eyes as we walked down the aisle to the seats in front that were clearly empty for us.

We got sympathetic glances from many people as we walked. Officer Holden was there and was sitting two rows back, along with Melissa Jenkins. There were a few other people there that I recognized as some of my Mother's co-workers.

The doors behind us opened and I saw the gang walk in. They were all wearing their best jeans-the ones with no holes or stains-and nicer shirts, but it didn't matter to me what they wore. If I had it my way, none of us would have to be here right now. They all gave us sympathetic looks as they sat in the row behind us. There was an unspoken sorrow and remembrance behind the Curtis brothers' eyes. They had been in almost the same position not too long ago. Having to go through a funeral for their own parents.

I had to turn away from them to keep from crying. Just then a door on the other end of the room opened. Two policemen emerged: one on either side of my father. They stood against the far wall facing the rest of us. In my sadness I had forgotten the possibility he would be here. While I preferred for him not to be, it _was_ his wife that had died, not just our mother. He was in the normal orange jumpsuit and white tennis shoes. He had hand cuffs on his wrists and a similar system around his ankles. He was watching me and Rodney and I couldn't pick apart his emotions. The deep fear of him was steadily growing but I tried not to let it show, or overpower the rest of my feelings. I couldn't run out of this in a panic.

Rodney stiffened next to me and you could almost feel the tension in the air as Melissa Jenkins walked up to the front. She looked at me and Rodney sorrowfully before addressing us all. "We are gathered here today in remembrance of a wonderful woman. Rachel Westbrook will always be remembered in her greatest moments. She was a caring mother," she looked back to Rodney and I with a small smile. My throat tightened and I struggled to keep back the tears. "Wife," she looked at my father with a face I couldn't read. "And friend." She concluded, looking at everyone else.

"And while I never got the chance to meet her," she paused and looked directly at me. "I know she was a remarkable lady who raised remarkable children and brought joy to everyone she encountered." She stopped, smiled, and looked back to the rest of the crowd. "And though she left in one of the more undesirable fashions, we must see past it and remember the good memories we have. So, we would like to turn the time over to anyone who would like to share something. Of course, family should have the chance to go first." She finished and looked questioningly and my brother and I.

I contemplated it; there was so many good things I could say and yet there was a part of me that knew I couldn't do it. I could hardly say anything; could hardly breathe. I simply shook my head as a few tears fell and Rodney did the same beside me, just as eager to get out of here. She nodded and looked to my father, giving him a chance to say something. The gesture almost surprised me, when I remembered she was his wife. I kept forgetting that he was still connected here, and not just some monster. I watched him with eyes that dared him to do something. He didn't have much he could honestly say, considering he beat her.

Despite it, he nodded slowly and the two cops led him to the front of the room. Melissa Jenkins went to sit back in her seat next to Officer Holden, but I kept my eyes trained on my father. The pain and fear were overcome by anger for what he not only did to me, but what he did to my mother every day.

He took a deep breath before looking up at me and Rodney and speaking. "A little more than twenty years ago I met Rachel Johnson at school. I was one of those bad boys in a gang and she was the sweet little Greaser girl with blonde hair and hazel eyes. After a few years of trying, I finally made her mine and it was great. Not long after we had our first child, my son Rodney. We were overjoyed, and then about a year and a half we had a beautiful daughter, Andrea. Things were good, they were hard, but there were really good for a while. Then, came the teenage years," a few chuckles went through the crowd. "My son started hanging out with a gang, and having been there, I couldn't really blame him. My daughter started to get interested in boys, and we all know how that goes." More sorrowed laughter rang out. "Having both our kids out of the house most of the time was somewhat challenging on Rachel and I, but we made it work: together." He said, still staring at us. Disgusted with him, I looked away from him and wondered what my mother ever saw in this liar. I stare at the wall and try to keep from breaking down.

"Then, she, she died." He sounds like he's chocking and it seems somehow ironic to me. "It was so unexpected that I didn't know how to cope with it. Both of my children hadn't been home for a while, which wasn't unusual for my son, but for my daughter; well I assumed the worst had happened to her and I reported her as missing. I was alone for three days and the only way I could find to deal with the pain of losing my wife, who I loved unconditionally, was to drink it away. After three days my daughter was returned to me." He paused. I could feel his eyes on me, pleading with me to look back to him, but I didn't grant him the pleasure. He sighed. "I had an unhealthy level of alcohol in my system and I did some things that night that I would give anything to undo. I hope my kids can understand how sorry I truly am and forgive me, because I love them both, as I loved their mother, with all my heart. I just want them to know that." He said sadly.

I looked down at my hands and shook my head slightly. It felt as if everyone was staring at me as the soft clinking of metal cuffs filled the air while my father was led back. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore so I stopped trying and just let them fall freely down my face as I studied my shaking hands.

Then an arm laid across my shoulders. Rodney. He pulled me close to him and I felt his unsteady breathing as he tried to suppress the tears.

The rest of the funeral went by like a snail as some of Mom's co-workers got up and said things about what a great person she was. All throughout I could feel my father's eyes boring into me and I wanted nothing more than to be out of there.

Not soon enough, the funeral ended and my tears were falling steadily. I tried to stop them but I knew it wouldn't work. All the people who I didn't really know were coming up and saying how sorry they felt, but none of them knew how hard this had been for me.

I hurried through the hollow apologies to get to the gang who were hanging back awkwardly. Each of them took turns embracing me, saying they were sorry and that it'd be okay. As always, I saved Soda for last. He hugged me tighter than any of the others and it didn't seem like he was going to let go anytime soon, not that I wanted him to. He just held me, and that spoke more than words could say.

I couldn't help but feel like people were watching us so I pulled away a little, but let him keep one arm around my shoulders. No one had been watching us, though. They all had begun their own little conversations and Rodney had disappeared. He did that a lot lately. It kind of bothered me, but I guess it's better than nothing. "You look beautiful today." Soda said from next to me.

I looked up at him. "You say that every day." I said. There was something irrational inside me that made me think he was just saying that to say it, like it wasn't even sincere. But the bigger part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew he always meant it when he said it, but the doubt was creeping up inside me.

"I say it every day because you're beautiful every day. But you look exceptionally gorgeous today." He replied.

I looked down at myself. I had found a black dress in my Mom's closet and figured I should wear it. It was form fitting up top with a high swoop neck and was cinched around the waist, but flowed openly to my knees. It had sleeves that reached my elbow and I felt pretty in it for once, although that was little reason to celebrate considering why I was wearing it. The shoes were mine. My mother had bought them for me as a present not too long ago, but I don't remember the occasion. They were just simple black heels that were only about an inch tall. My hair was twisted back into a simple gathered bun, allowing people to see my mother's necklace that I was proudly wearing. I'd worn it every day since I found it on her dresser. "Thanks." I said quietly.

He was quiet for a moment before he pulled me closer. "It'll be okay Andie. And I'll always be here if it's not. We can make it through anything." He whispered in my ear.

I nodded and turned so that we were hugging again. This was the place I felt the safest. He seemed to understand because he just held me without saying anything. I began to forget where I was and was starting to feel happy again when someone interrupted us. "Excuse me Andrea, but your father requested to talk with you. You don't have to by any means. It's up to you. You'll be completely safe if you do so you don't have to worry about that." A familiar voice said from behind me. Fear ran through me. Even the mere thought of talking face to face with him scared me. Somewhere deep inside me was a yearning to talk to him though.

I pulled away from Soda to see Officer Holden looking expectantly at me. My hand drifted down until it was locked in Soda's, who was giving me a worried look that I was avoiding. I took a deep breath and nodded, much too everyone's-including myself-surprise. He nodded to and began to lead me to my father. I had a death grip on Soda's hand as we approached him and I tried to hide my fear but I'm pretty sure it wasn't working.

My father's face was unreadable as he watched us walk up. A mix of emotions stirred up inside me and I wasn't sure which was stronger: anger, fear, and sadness being the top three, but none of them winning.

My father gave Soda a cold glance but he almost looked sad when he looked back to me. "Andrea." He left it hanging, obviously waiting for me to crack, but I wasn't going to. He gave a big sigh. "Can you ever forgive me? I really am sorry about what I did. I was drunk, you have to understand. I would never do that to you if I wasn't." He said. I could hear the holes in it though, just like I expected.

Something about it all just lit up the fire inside me. "I don't understand how you expect me to forgive you. _You. Tried. To. Kill. Me. _It isn't something I can just forgive and forget. I don't think you can ever understand the damage you did to me. I still can't sleep without nightmares. I still flinch every time someone moves too fast or makes a loud noise. I can't relax anymore because of what you did and you expect me to just pretend it never happened? It's just not possible." I said. I was almost scarily calm. Somehow I had gotten the tears to stop, and that made it even scarier to me.

He looked away ashamed and I felt Soda squeeze my hand. I couldn't tell if it was out of reassurance or anger from what I said and the memories it brought with it. He was still so rigid beside me and looked as if he was struggling hurting my father himself. My father didn't say anything. "I don't know what you wanted to hear, but if it was that I forgive you and everything is fine and life can go on like normal: you're not ever gonna hear that from me, because my life will never be normal now. All thanks to you." I said bitterly.

He looked up at me and realization crossed his face. Realization about how bad he messed up and how he can't fix it. He nodded. I waited for him to reply but he didn't. "I'm done with this." I said and led Soda away. I could feel the fear and panic and tears begin to overwhelm me. My breath started to get faster as I forced myself to sit down and put my head in my hands, trying to calm down. Soda just sat beside me and rubbed my back soothingly. I realized just how thankful I was that I had him. I don't know if I could survive without him by my side. It sounds cheesy, but I literately would have died had he not been in my life.

After I calmed down a little I sat back up and gave a weak smile to Soda. "Let's get outta here." I said to him, dragging him up and gathering the rest of the boys so we could leave. I looked around briefly for Rodney, but didn't see him. His car was gone too, but that didn't surprise me.

As we were walking out to Dar's truck I forced Soda to stop so I could take of my shoes, they were killing my feet. We ran back to the car where everyone was already in and waiting for us, but none of them were paying attention to us. Getting into the bed of the truck was a lot more difficult with a dress on. Thankfully, Two-bit noticed and grabbed my hand to help pull me up. I nodded gratefully to him as I sat down. Soda plopped down next to me and Darry drove off.

The truck sped right past the Curtis' house and stopped in front of mine. Slowly, I hopped out of the back of the truck and walked to my front door, the heels bouncing against my leg. The rev of engine sounded behind me as Darry continued down the street.

Rodney's truck wasn't in the driveway and I vaguely wondered where he was as I walked in and to my room. I stopped when I saw myself in the mirror. I hardly recognized the face looking back at me, but it was undeniably me. The girl I was a year ago would never have thought I could turn into the woman in the mirror. But that girl didn't really matter anymore. She had been changed, forced to grow up before her time. She was stronger now, but at the same time, she was the weakest she's ever been. She'd get through it, though. That much she knew. One way or another, she'd make it and life would go on. Maybe she would be happy. She knew with the help of the boys she considered family she would be. If they were there with her, she could be anything.

Dragging myself away from the mirror I peeled off my mother's dress and laid it out on my bed and tossed the heels into my closet. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and my Elvis t-shirt I had gotten for my sixteenth birthday.

I admired the dress as I slowly hung it up. It reminded me of her. All the good times we had; sitting at the piano together, shopping, just anything. I smiled lightly as a few more tears fell down my face. I wiped them away, turning away and leaving the dress in the dark of my closet.

I contemplated going to the Curtis' as I walked out of my room. They could usually make me feel better, but I just needed to be alone right now. I couldn't honestly remember the last time I was alone.

Wandering the house, I realized how messy it was. Rodney had at least found the decency to pick up all his beer bottles and dispose of them, but that was hardly part of the mess. Drunk people tend to have no sense for cleanliness, especially when it's Shepard's gang. There was food and wrappers all over the place and a few cigarette buds on the floor and some in a bowl in the kitchen. _Idiots._ I thought. They could've burned down the entire house down.

That was only the kitchen, though. Every room had many contents of furniture strewn across them. I did my best to pick it up, but eventually I had to stop. For some reason, I ended up back in my parents bedroom. I looked at the pictures that were in the gap between the mirror and frame and also at the ones on her dresser. She looked so happy in them all and it made me smile; remembering the good times.

Then I saw an envelope face down and had clearly been opened. Curious, I flipped it over. It was Rodney's letter from Mom. Even though I knew I shouldn't look at his personal letter, I knew he didn't really care about it if he just left it lying around. My throat got tight at the sight of my Mother's handwriting.

_Rodney,_

_ First and foremost, know that I love you and your sister with all of my heart and that this is the last thing I wanted it to come to, but your father has given me no other choice. I know you have your friends and your gang and whatnot, but I want you to find some way to get you and Andrea away from him. Take care of her. Take care of yourself. I love you more than you could ever know, Rodney, and it pains me deeply that it has come to this. I just want to say I'm sorry and that I love you so very very much. See you on the other side. _

_ Much love and pain,_

_ Mom_

The tears started to fall again and I collapsed on her bed, dropping the letter to the floor. I curled up on the side of the bed she slept on and sobbed, breathing in and savoring the smell of her. Graciously, I let sleep overtake me.

_You must have been in a_

_Place so dark_

_You couldn't feel the light_

_Reachin' for you through_

_That stormy cloud_

**_A/N: I promise I will have a new chapter up ASAP! Please Review!_**


	23. A Step in the Right Direction

**A/N: Hey Ya'll! Sorry, I know I've been slacking but the first week of school's always a little tricky and I'm just trying to get back in the groove! Plus we had to help my brother get ready because he left on Monday for two years to go down to Brazil so that was hectic too! But I hope this chapter is as good as you hope! I roughly proofread, but not thoroughly, so don't hate me if something is a little off! As always R&R!**

I woke up to rising light coming through the window and hitting my face. The warmth of a blanket surrounded me. Looking around, I tried to remember where I was. Finally, I concluded I was in my parents old bed and the memory of everything that happened yesterday came flooding back.

Deciding I needed to do something productive with my day I got up, got dressed in a clean outfit, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. I looked through our cupboards and found most of them empty or filled with expired food. Sighing, I knew I needed to go shopping and decided I would do it later. _With what money? _I wondered frustratedly. I'd probably need to get a job now, but had no idea where to start.

Footsteps sounded behind me and I quickly flashed around, expecting my father, or someone else who would hurt me. I let out a big sigh of relief when I saw Rodney before me, hair in a mess and still looking dead tired. I'm sure I still looked petrified, but he didn't say anything about it. "What're you doing up?" He slurred, still waking up. He rubbed his eyes.

"You know I can't sleep anymore. The real question is what are _you _doing awake? I figured you got drunk last night and would still be out for the count right now." I explained.

He shrugged. "I didn't get drunk last night. I just needed to get away from everything. I just drove around for a while, that's all." He said groggily. It felt nice to hear his old voice back, the one without venom. I nodded and smiled at him. He didn't seem to notice as he sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs. He was far in thought as he stared out the window. I crossed my arms, leaned back against the counter and just watched him, feeling like I was finally getting my brother back.

"So how are you Rod? Really?" I asked after a few minutes of content silence.

He looked at me almost as if he wanted to say he was fine, but he knew I would see through him. He sighed and looked at his hands that were laced together on the table. He shook his head slightly. "Confused. I just want to know why both of them did what they did. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't want this responsibility. Goodness knows you'll never listen to me, so how am I supposed to keep you safe?" He asked. I pulled up a chair and sat down with him.

Something clicked in my head. "Why did you come back Rodney?" I asked, ignoring his question. I stared intently at his face, waiting for him to look up at me.

Finally he did, and we just stared at each other. Then he looked back down and sighed. "I came back for you. I found the letter Mom wrote me; I know you've read it. I saw it on the floor when I came in last night. She told me I needed to take care of you and I never had a doubt about that, but I just didn't know how to go about it. I knew you would be just as torn up about everything as I was, if not more." He paused briefly, and his face showed nothing but sadness. "I knew that I'd messed up majorly in the past and I wasn't sure how to fix that, but I figured I had a shot. Then, you had the gang and I knew it would be so much harder. It'd been programmed into my brain to hate them, and them me. But, I couldn't leave you, it's my job to protect you, I'm your older brother. But, I just can't figure out how to get them to like me, they just don't want to budge; but I'm trying, Rae. I really am." He almost pleaded.

I smiled at him and reached out to take his hand. He looked back up at me. "I know you're trying, Rod. Don't worry about the gang though, just leave them to me." I assured him.

He looked at my face and smiled back. "Thanks, Rae. But, _I've_ got a question for _you._" He trailed off. I looked at him questioningly. "Why are you _letting_ me come back? You were right that day that I hit you; I haven't barely talked to you in who knows how long, and with what Shepard's gang did and I just stood there and watched and everything else I've done to you. Why let me back in your life when you seem to be doing just fine without me?" He asked sincerely.

I sat back in my chair and sighed, thinking it through. I'd been asked that question so many times and had never truly found the answer. "I let you back in because...well, I guess I just missed having my brother there; my REAL brother. Not some Tim Shepard ruled version of him." I answered.

He looked at me somewhat sadly but nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. But you don't need me; you've got the gang, you've got Soda," He left it hanging.

A twinge of guilt struck deep within me; did he really think I wouldn't let him back just because I had the gang. "Rodney, just because I've got the gang doesn't mean I don't need you. Yes, I'm dating Soda and the rest of them I love like brothers, but they'll never replace you, the _real_ Rodney. You'll always be my big brother, no matter how annoying you are sometimes." I said, trying to lighten the serious mood. I was tired of serious. It'd filled my life the past little while and I just couldn't stand it anymore.

He flashed me a smile that made me do the same. That was when I noticed how handsome he was. How he didn't have all the girls; I wasn't sure. He looked so different when he was relaxed and not drunk or trying to be tough for Shepard.

"Oh, whatever, you're just as obnoxious as I am." He joked back. I cocked an eyebrow at him with a smile, daring him to explain. He gladly did. "Do you know how thick-skulled you are sometimes? Everything someone tells you to do goes in one ear and out the other. It's incredibly infuriating at times." He stated while laughing.

I laughed, knowing he was right. "Maybe that's only because you don't give very good orders." I winked at him. He stuck his tongue out playfully but then just smiled at me. "It's good to have you back Rod." I said happily.

He sighed joyously. "It's good to be back." He watched out the window again. "So what're you gonna do today?" He asked finally.

"Well, we've got no good food in this house, and I enjoy eating. So, I guess I should go to the store. Only problem is: I ain't got any money to buy stuff with and even if I did, I wouldn't know what to even get." I said.

He fished in his back pocket and put a crinkled wad of bills on the table. He counted it out to be twenty bucks. He held it out to me. "Figure this'll probably get us through the week at least, maybe more. As for what, I've no clue. I guess just whatever is cheap and semi-decent will work for now. And while you're at it, do you mind getting me some beer?" He said.

I was shocked that he would ask such a ludicrous task of me. Why on earth would I get him more beer? He knew how much it frightened me. My eyes widened and he seemed to catch on. I was about to object and start yelling at him that he was crazy, but he cut me off before I could. "Look, Rae, I'm gonna stop, alright? I swear on my life! But you can't just quit something like that in the blink of an eye. I've gotta ween myself off of it slowly. You remember that one day you came home and you had that real bad headache that you played off as some random thing but really you were drunk the night before? Yeah, well take that headache and multiply it by ten and you have what you get when you try to stop. So I've got to get there slowly, but I swear I'll get there." He explained.

I was shocked. He was talking about the day after I got drunk because of Mason, but I thought I was somewhat convincing that it was just a headache. "How do you know I was drunk?" I asked.

He chuckled. "You really think I can't spot a first-time hangover when I see one? You may be difficult, but you've never been flat out mean to anyone. It really wasn't that hard to figure out." He said.

I opened my mouth to object, but then stopped when I realized he was right. He laughed again and scratched at his head. "Well, I have a killer headache, so I'm gonna probably go pass out on the couch or something. What're you gonna do today?" He asked.

"I need to go shopping at some point, probably sooner rather than later. Then I'll probably go over to the Curtis' like usual." I said. He nodded. "Can I take your truck to the store? I don't exactly want to get jumped on the way, and don't want to carry all the stuff back. I'm too lazy for that." I joked.

He smiled. "Yeah, the keys are somewhere on the counter. You might need to fill it up, though. I don't remember how much I used last night." He said. I nodded, looking on the counter for the keys. I found them easily and headed out the door with a quick bye as he went to the living room.

The sun was blinding and I found myself glad that I had remembered to grab my sunglasses. It had been a while since I had been behind the wheel of a car: whenever my parents weren't driving the truck, Rodney was, so I had to walk almost everywhere. They still put me through Driver's Ed just in case, though. It took me a minute or two but I quickly fell back into the groove of driving and drove the unfamiliar route to the grocery store. This all felt so foreign.

Hesitantly I made my way through and bought the only things I could think of: eggs, milk, chicken, bread, flour, and a few other miscellaneous things, hoping it would last us long enough. I payed for it and was pleased that it was only a little bit above ten dollars.

I stopped at the DX on the way home to fill up the truck, and for other obvious reasons. I hopped out and put the pump in and punched in the right amount. When it was done I went into the building to pay for it and to see Soda.

The chime on the door announced my presence and Soda smiled at me. "You look good in that truck." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes and got to the counter.

"Yeah? Well I'm glad to know it's worth it. That thing eats gas like you guys eat chocolate cake." I joked and put the remaining money on the counter. "I'm at pump 4." I told him. I watched him as he rang it up, admiring his every feature and falling deeper in love by the second. Everything he did, he did with an easy grace and carefree feeling. It wasn't hard to see why every girl wanted him, but it wasn't the looks that were holding me to him. It was everything about him.

He caught me staring, but I didn't even bother trying to look away. "What?" He asked, confused.

"Nothing." I lied, with a smile. He raised an eyebrow at me, obviously knowing I wasn't telling the truth. I just smiled bigger. "When do you get off?" I changed the subject.

He still looked skeptical as he answered. "Two-thirty." He said.

"Wanna do something tonight?" I asked, eager to spend some long overdue alone time with him. "Sure. Nightly Double?" He asked, the same longing mirroring in his eyes.

I nodded, excitedly. "Kay, then I'll see you later, Handsome." I winked at him. He nodded and I walked back to the truck.

Rodney was asleep when I got back and I tried to put the groceries up as quietly as possible. After I was satisfied I went to go get changed for my date with Soda. I scoured my closet for something clean and semi-decent to wear tonight. I made a mental note to do laundry later as I pulled out an outfit.

It was an old black and white checkered skirt that flared out, ending a little above my knee. I paired it with a bright yellow button-up blouse that my mother had bought for me a while ago. It had slight fringe going up the buttons and had cupped sleeves. I tucked it into the skirt and fastened the skinny white belt on the skirt around it.

Heading to the bathroom, I focused on my make-up. I wiped off the stale stuff from yesterday and debated through my colors. I decided on a light pink eye-shadow, to match the flats I had already decided on wearing. I put on some mascara and eye-line like normal and finished it off with a natural pink lip-gloss. Once I got my make-up to look how I wanted it I pulled my hair back.

Feeling content with my job I slipped on my Mom's old red flats. It was one of the times being semi-small was good. My mom was always in touch with the style while I mainly cared about comfort. Thankfully, we were the same size in almost everything so I routinely stole some of her clothes.

Waiting until it was close to two-thirty, I slipped out the door and bounded happily towards the Curtis'.

A wolf-whistle sounded behind me and I was instantly filled with fear that it might be Soc's. I acted like I didn't hear it and kept walking. My fear diminished when I heard Steve's voice. "Well, who do we got here?" He said smartly, getting closer to me.

"I do believe that that is _my _girl." Soda said. He appeared next to me and put a hand on my hip and pulling me close to him and planted a kiss on my cheek.

I giggled and leaned into him. I saw Steve shake his head on the other side of me. "Man, have I ever told you how jealous I am of you?" He asked Soda, making me blush.

HE tightened his grip around my waist. "Man, ain't you got your own girl to worry about as of three days ago?" He said, being protective and making me smile even more.

Steve sighed. "Yeah, she's bugging me to take her out tonight." He said, sounding very unexcited.

"Well you don't sound very excited about that, Steve." I commented. He looked at me, knowing what I was getting at. "Eh, she's been real cranky lately and I don't know why." He explained.

"A girl's got a right to be cranky every once and a while, for reasons you really don't want to know about. Just cut her a break and take her out tonight. That'll probably make her less cranky." I stated.

He thought about it for a second before it clicked. He gave me a _tmi _kind of look but agreed anyway. "Alright, fine. I'll take her out somewhere. Where are y'all headed tonight?" He shifted the spotlight.

"The Nightly Double." Soda answered and gave me a questioning look, and I nodded. "Care to join us?" He asked cordially.

"I might just have to take you up on that offer." Steve said. "Well, I guess I gotta go get my girl, then. See ya later, Lovebirds." He teased before heading off in a different direction, leaving Soda and I alone.

"So what was that all about?" He asked, not accusing, simply curious. "I never know just what you're gonna do."

"Well, he shouldn't complain about taking his girl out, especially if i's only been three days." I said.

He nodded and we walked in happy silences the rest of the way home. "Well look who cleans up nice." Dally said, looking me up and down.

"Yeah, she's making you look bad Greaser boy. Even putting some of them Soc girls to shame." Two-bit added. Heat flushed into my cheeks and Soda's arm tightened once again.

"Darn right she does. Leaves them good for nothing rich girls in the dust." He boasted, making me blush even harder.

I pleaded with my cheeks to stop getting redder, but the heat never left. "Guys, just because I'm wearing a skirt doesn't mean nothin'. I just didn't have any other clean clothes. " I said, looking away from them, hoping they would drop it. I've never really liked all the attention on me.

They didn't say anything more on the subject but they were all still staring at Soda with envy. "Where's Steve?" Johnny finally broke the silence, but I could still feel Two-Bit and Dally's stares weighing on me.

"He went to go talk to Evie. I assume they'll both be here later, or maybe not. I don't know, you can never tell what those two are up to." Soda explained.

The boys nodded in agreement. Soda unwrapped himself from me and headed off to his room to change out of his work clothes. Still very aware of the boys sideward glances, I sat in my normal spot, pulling my feet up and kicking them to the side, ensuring no one could see up it.

Soon I'd had enough. "Oh my gosh! Will you all stop gawking at me, sheesh!" I exclaimed, hating the spotlight, especially from the boys I considered brothers.

None of them even looked sorry, except maybe Johnny, who looked away with a bashful blush rising in his face. Two-Bit sighed almost regretfully. "Man, somedays I really wish Soda wasn't one of my best buds, 'cuz trust me, if he wasn't, I'd steal you away in a heartbeat." He said, and Dally nodded his agreement.

"Like you could stand a chance against Soda. All he's gotta do is smile and he can have any girl he wants. You've got to do a little more work than him." Pony jabbed at him.

He gave the infamous Two-Bit eyebrow raise. "Oh yeah? Ladies can't resist my charm." He said cockily. "The only reason I ain't got a girl is because I've just got so many to chose from." He nodded proudly at himself.

"Two-Bit, there aren't any girls left in this town _to_ be chasing you. All the Soc's won't bat an eye in your direction and all the Greaser girls are after Soda, and the ones who aren't are taken, and even those still can't stop watchin' him. Don't pretend like you don't know it's true." Dally shot at him.

"Maybe it used to be, but now Soda's off-limit's. So I'm the next best choice. Once the girls get over Soda, they won't be able to stay away from Two-Bit Matthews! You're a girl, you tell 'em, Dre!" He reasoned and dragged me into it.

I laughed at him. "Sorry, I'm taken. And I don't think I'll be getting over the legendary Sodapop Curtis anytime soon." I mocked, not wanting to answer the question.

Soda came back in then, donned in his normal blue jeans and red button up flannel shirt. "Got that right! Now let's get outta' here before they all start drooling." He joked and offered me his hand. Gladly, I took it and we were gone.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! I promise I'll get on a normal updating schedule again soon!**


	24. Things get complicated

**A/N: Sorry I know, I'm falling behind again. But I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get a single review on the last chapter. I mean I know it wasn't utterly fantastic, but it's still something. If someone could tell me why that would be great. Anyway, this chapter is kind of dramatic so enjoy.**

"So what time does the movie start?" I slipped my fingers into his. You'd think I would be a wreck still from my Mother's funeral, but for some reason I wasn't; I was finally happy. Maybe it was that I got my brother back, or maybe it was that I was holding the hand of the boy who stole my heart, and who gave me his.

"Oh, I don't know. We probably have a while, though. I just wanted to get in some alone time; it's been a while." He said. I knew better than to think he knew what we were going to do so I simply nodded. It _had_ been way to long since we'd been alone. "'Sides, I think you were lying about dressing up 'cuz you didn't have anything else clean." He winked at me.

I stopped and turned him to look at me. "So why do you think I did it then?" I asked, almost accusingly, although it didn't actually bother me.

Knowing I didn't mean anything by it he smiled and continued. "Theres a lot of possibilities, I guess, but because you didn't have anything else isn't one of them." He said. I cocked an eyebrow, urging him to go on. "Maybe you did it to impress me, although you hardly gotta do anything to do that. Or maybe it was so that guys would be jealous of me because I've got the pretty girl, though that ain't too hard either considering they already are." He said.

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing he was bluffing. He went on. "So that leaves one explanation; it's because you know I can't keep away from you when you look like this." He said softly. His hands traveled to my hips and he pulled me closer to him.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, slipping my arms around his neck. He inched closer yet to my face. "Yeah." He whispered before sealing the distance.

His arms tightened around my waist and I willingly got closer as my fingers entwined in his long, golden hair. Our mouths moved in harmony together for a while. I felt his hands drifting on my back and hovering at the hem of my shirt. Softly, I felt his finger against my skin.

I brought my hand down and pushed lightly on his chest. "Soda." I whispered, I wasn't ready for that yet.

"Andie. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." He pleaded, sounding ashamed. I shook my head. "Babe, it's fine, really." I silenced him. I didn't want him to feel bad about it.

I brought my hand back to around his neck and pecked his lips once more. That's when I noticed the shine on his lips, and I knew it was from my lipgloss. Giggling, I wiped it off with my thumb. "I told you it was the outfit." He winked at me, back to his normal self.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Whatever you say, Sodapop." I said and ran my fingers through his hair to straighten it out.

Then he went quiet, which I found odd; none of the boys were ever just quiet, well except Johnny, but that's a different story. "What?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I was thinking, well, you're my girl right?" He stumbled. "Soda, do you really have to ask? You know I'm your girl. Why do you ask?" I said.

"Well, I was just thinking, you're my girl, but you don't have a way to show it, and I don't have a class ring." He stated, and I knew he was going somewhere with it but I wasn't sure where.

"So? Everybody knows you're taken, and everybody knows by who. Nearly every girl in town pays attention to you. They know who not to bother, whether or not they follow that." I reassured him. I knew he didn't have a class ring; he never graduated.

"Even if that is true, it seems wrong not to have some way of showing it. People 'round here think if you don't have a ring on your finger they can bother whoever. Even Dal gave Sylvia a class ring that he rolled off some Soc kid. So I should at least be able to do the same for you." He explained.

I knew I wasn't going to win this argument, and it was a pointless one to have anyway. "So what do you got in mind? I'm not letting you go fight some guy for one, and I'm sure not letting you pay for one. It's not that important." I said, matter-of-factly.

He laughed. "I knew you'd say that. That's why I didn't go buy one." I raised my eyebrow at him questioningly. I hope he didn't steal Dar's class ring. Goodness knows Darry will never use it, but it would feel wrong to wear it. Instead Soda pulled out a beautiful silver band that had a small infinity symbol on it. "It was my Mom's. It wasn't her wedding ring or anything; just a ring my Dad gave her that she wore all the time. I guess it's like a make-shift class ring, since I never graduated." He explained cooly.

Gently, I took it from him. "It's beautiful." I whispered as I slipped it onto my ring finger. He started to say something but I held up a finger to stop him, anticipating his reply. "And don't say it's not as beautiful as me." I said.

He chuckled. "You know me to well." He said. "Doesn't mean it's not true, though."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you're kind of obligated to say that, aren't you?" I accused him playfully as we started walking towards the Nightly Double, hand in hand.

"Okay; I might be a _bit_ biased, but the whole gang would agree with me. I mean do you really think that Dally and Two-Bit would lie about what they said?" He paused for a second and shook his head. "Don't answer that. But still, you even had Pony and Johnny staring, and they're real shy about that stuff. You know I'm right." He argued.

I shrugged. "Maybe." I said, being difficult. "Whatever." He said, a heart stopping smile on his face.

The Nightly Double was packed with people when we got there. Even though it was a relatively small place, there was a lot going on. Fights were breaking out, smoke and beer filled the air, couples were going to third base and then some, and not in secrecy, and there were a handful who were actually sitting waiting for the movie.

We looked all around for Steve and Evie, however, I'd never actually met Evie so I had no clue what she looked like, but Soda did. He spotted her quickly. "Evie!" He called in the direction of a big herd of people.

A beautiful, tall and lanky girl turned around and smiled instantly when she saw us and started making her way over to us, a clear swing in her hips as she did, that was accentuated even more by her short, pleated skirt.

"Hey Sodapop!" She said cheerily through her deep red lips. Her tan face stretched into a welcoming smile when she saw me. "You must be Andrea; I've heard a lot about you." She commented.

I wondered what exactly she had heard about me. Whether it was from Steve, or the news, or maybe the rumors that were undoubtedly being spread about me. "I sure hope that's a good thing." I put on a smile.

"As far as the girls in this town are concerned: you're the lucky girl who finally got in good with Sodapop Curtis; heartthrob of all of Tulsa." She said, making Soda stand a bit straighter.

I was thankful that that was what she brought up. "That's good I guess." I chuckled, not entirely sure what to say to that. I knew that was hardly the main thing was going around about me anymore, but I didn't argue.

"It ain't always. Every girl in town is shooting daggers at your back. If they had it their way, they'd get rid of you before you even knew what hit ya." She said, her thick country drawl shining through. She took a swig of the beer in her hand and strangely it didn't frighten me.

"It's not like me dating him is stopping anyone." I said, the day at the DX playing back in my mind.

"Well, yeah, but it'd make it easier for those Middle Class girls who come to the DX if you weren't in the picture. We all know about how possessive you are of him; for good reason too." She said and looked Soda up and down. He didn't even seemed fazed by it; but I guess it happens to him often.

I blushed. "Does everybody know about that?" I asked. When I did it, I hadn't meant for it to go Tulsa-wide.

Her chuckle gave me answer enough. "Hon, you know as well as I do that Steve and Two-Bit can't keep their big mouths shut. Pair that with those pity-seeking Middle Class girls and you can't hide it. Nothin' stays quiet in Tulsa; you of all people should know that." She said nonchalantly and drank from the glass bottle again.

Hurt struck deep within me, but nothing I hadn't dealt with before, and I knew she hadn't meant to make me feel bad; she just didn't have a filter. Soda untangled his fingers from mine and put his arm across my shoulders, pulling me to him. Before anyone had time to say anything Steve pranced up to our group, murmuring a quick "hi" to me and Soda before kissing Evie forcefully.

"You okay?" Soda whispered in my ear while the other two were occupied. I smiled half-heartedly. "I'm bent, not broken. I can handle the small things. I'm fine." I assured him.

He pulled me closer and laid a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Never hurts to check." He said just in time for Steve and Evie to be done.

"Not so fun when you're the one watching now is it?" Steve asked, sounding triumphant, and of course, Soda had to burst his bubble.

"Sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention." He said evilly. Steve's face contorted into a playful scowl as he reached over and punched Soda. They started wrestling right then and there. Evie and I shared an "ugh, boys" look before slipping into easy conversation before the movie started.

I decided I liked Evie. She wasn't one of those gossip kind of girls, but she wasn't a preppy one either. She was just her. Although her words didn't fill the Greaser standards, her clothes sure did. She had on a pleated, black mini skirt, which made her tan legs look longer. She paired that with a tight, deep purple top that ended just above her belly-button and tall purple heels that wrapped around her ankles like boa constrictors. Her dark makeup was heavy on her narrow face framed by cropped black hair. She really was stunning though, in a heart breaking kind of way.

Soon we had to take our seats for the movie to begin. Nobody actually watched it, though. Steve and Evie were making out nearly the whole time and when they weren't, her and I would fall back into simple chit-chat. Soda and I mostly talked about pointless things, not daring to repeat our episode from earlier.

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." I said and headed towards the back of the Nightly Double.

When I walked back out a wolf-whistle greeted me. "Hey, sweet thing." A rough voice called as two big hands enveloped my waist. The clear smell of beer and smoke distinguished him as a Greaser. "You're a long ways from home, aren't ya?" The voice whispered in my ear, guessing I was a Soc.

I forced myself away from him and flipped to face him. He was a Greaser I hadn't seen before. He was your typical Greaser: tall, bulky, and only looking for trouble. "No, I'm not. I'm a Greaser same as you, and I know how to fight just as well, so you'd do well to walk away." I threatened, hoping he would back off because I knew I couldn't do anything to him.

He looked intently at my face for a few minutes. "I know who you are. You're _Westbrook's_ kid sister." The way he said my name was almost as frightening as the look he gave me. Trouble was coming, and that't all I knew. He pulled me even closer. "I got a bone to pick with him." He said.

I craned my neck to escape his face that was getting closer still. "Well give me your name and maybe I'll tell him." I spat back.

Slowly his hand slipped further around my waist, diminishing any space I had between us. "Or maybe I could pay him back right now with you." He said huskily and started to lean in.

I ripped my arm away from him and pushed him as far as I could, which wasn't saying much; he hardly moved. "Don't touch me." I growled and started stalking back towards Soda.

"Why so hostile babe?" He asked and grabbed my arm again.

"Maybe because I'm taken, so leave me alone!" I shouted and tried to tear free, but he expected and tightened his grip. I flipped around to face him, my patience gone. "Maybe I didn't say it slow enough for you to understand. Let. Me. Go." I spat.

"Sweetheart, you're playing a dangerous game here." He said lowly, his arm tightening.

My eyes narrowed. "I'm not the one who's in danger here. I _really_ don't think you want me to go get Dallas Winston, because I won't hesitate and he would be thrilled to take care of you. So you can either let me go now and I'll keep to myself, or you continue and have to answer to him later. It's up to you." I threatened.

He studied my face for a second before letting me go, sensing I wasn't bluffing, then gave a fake smile. "There'll be no need to bother Dallas tonight, but you better tell your brother that Marcus is asking for him. And he'd better come to me soon, 'cuz if he don't, he'll regret it." He said and walked away.

I took a deep breath before returning back to Soda. "Is something wrong, Babe?" Soda asked when I sat down. I guess I looked as bothered as I felt.

I sighed. "I am never dressing like this again, I swear. Some Greaser just tried to pick me up; thought I was some preppy Soc chick." I rolled my eyes. "Like that could ever happen."

He looked only semi-concerned now, seeing I took care of myself. "How'd you get rid of him?" He asked.

I chuckled. "I threatened to go get Dally. Man, you shoulda seen his face. He ran outta there with his tail between his legs." I said.

He smiled and took my hand. Then something occurred to him. "Wait, if he thought you were a Soc how did he believe you could turn Dal on him?"

"Oh, he knew I wasn't by then. I gave him a piece of my mind, and then he recognized me as Rodney's kid sister. Said he had a bone to pick with him but he was gonna pay Rod back with me. That's when I threatened him." I explained.

"What's he got to settle with your brother? And how does he think he can settle it with you?" He asked, still a hint of worry in his voice.

"I have no idea, but don't you worry. We're gonna have an interesting conversation tonight." I said. I sighed and put my head on his shoulder. "But oh well. I'll think about that later." I said, just wanting to be with Soda. He threw his arm around my shoulders as the movie was coming to an end. But the thought still lingered in my mind: _What did Rodney do?_ Everything hadn't exactly put me in a great mood.

We departed in our own ways after the show; Soda and I to go get ice cream, and Steve and Evie to go make out most likely, if not more than that.

Autumn was beginning to show itself as we walked through the streets together. The breeze was chilling in the moonlight. Soda's still had his arm draped across my shoulders, making easy conversation when a voice sounded behind us. "Soda!" It shouted. I instantly knew who it was, as did Soda, who stiffened beside me. Footsteps rushed up to meet us. "Boy am I glad to see you; Mason ditched me for Shepard." The little blond devil said, looking at Soda expectantly, and not even batting an eye at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Well that's a pity isn't it, but don't worry, you'll get used to it eventually." I told her sarcastically. I was attempting to be civil, but something about her just made that hard.

She shot me a venomous glare before putting on a sickly sweet smile for Soda, as if he wouldn't have seen it. I rolled my eyes. "You wouldn't mind walking me home, would you? You know how dangerous it is for a girl to be walking around alone on this side of town, especially at night." She said. It seemed to me she was doing this just to grate my nerves.

"Well I'm sure if you scream convincingly enough Tim's gang will come save you. They'll use any excuse to hit someone." I said, sounding genuinely unconcerned.

Soda gave me a "stop it" look before looking back at her. Slyly, his arm slipped off my shoulders and I knew I had gone overboard. "Sure, we'll take you. I'm sure it won't be a problem." He said and looked back at me expectantly. Something about his voice and the look on his face was different, almost daring me to do something. It was a tone and look I'd seen on Dally and even Darry sometimes, but it didn't suit Soda.

For a moment I felt betrayed that he could agree to that and look at me like I was the bad guy after all she's done. Then I remembered who I was dealing with. Soda never held a grudge, and would never turn someone away if he could help, no matter how much they've hurt him in the past. It was one of the reasons I loved him, and asking him to chose me over her would be asking him to change, and I couldn't do that. I simply shook my head and he started walking, leaving me behind with Sandy: a simple act that spoke volumes. I cursed myself as Sandy and I started trailing behind. I should've just kept my mouth shut, but for some reason I just couldn't.

Sandy and I walked as far apart as we could, neither speaking. She had a smug look on her face, thinking she had won. Her ego was high and she got brave. "You really don't like me, do you?" She asked, though she knew I didn't.

"No, I really don't. Not after all you've done." I said simply, not interested in the game she was trying to play. I crossed my arms across my chest and avoided looking at her, though I could feel her eyes on me.

"Oh, like you've done much better." She scoffed, almost as if she didn't think what she's done was wrong in any way.

I stopped and looked at her, and she gladly did the same, her smug smile growing. She knew she was getting to me, and I tried to not loose it completely and give her what she wanted. "Yes, actually, I've done a lot better than you. I've never cheated on my boyfriend and certainly not long enough to get pregnant. Not all of us here can say that, now can we?" I snapped.

She shifted her wait onto her other leg. "At least I don't have to have a pity story to get someone to love me." She said. I raised an eyebrow at her, not exactly following her. Laughing, she elaborated. "Oh come on, we all know you milked what happened with Mason to get Soda in the first place and he felt bad for you 'poor little neglected girl' who no one loves, although I don't blame them, and he's just naive to fall for your little game. You've just gotten lucky with what's happened to you. One tragic thing after another. That's the only reason he's stayed this long; because he's too nice to tell you to deal with it yourself and to be on your way." She mocked me.

Anger started to well up inside me. "You really think what's happened to me was lucky! You couldn't be more wrong! And I'd gladly switch places with you, except for the fact that I don't want to sink to your level." I said venomously.

"Sink to _my_ level! At least I'm at a high enough level that people _want_ to be with me, and aren't guilted into it." She spat.

"Really? Because last time I checked, your Mom kicked you out of the house, and Mason just ditched you for Tim Shepard. Doesn't sound like people love being with you to me." I said, taking a step towards her.

She slowly started closing the distance between us, a superior look on her face. "Yeah? Let's compare then. At least _my_ Mom didn't kill herself to get away from me. At least my Dad is still a free man and didn't go to jail for trying to kill me because he hated me so much. At least I'm not such a bore and hopeless that people feel the need to go to extremes, purely to get away from me. At least-" She started, but I cut her off.

My fist connected with her face before I could stop it. "Shut up! Just shut up! You don't know _a thing_ about me! Just! Shut! Up!" I screamed at nearly the top of my lungs at her as she fell to the ground.

Soda ran up frantically to us and Sandy over exaggerated how much pain she was in. I hadn't hit her that hard, but she was whining and carrying on about it. Soda grabbed my shoulders. "You need to go cool down; go." He dismissed me and offered Sandy a hand.

A feeling struck deep inside me, but it wasn't nearly guilt or regret. Closer more to betrayal that he could send me away like that and coddle Sandy like she got shot. Sadness was quickly replaced once again with anger, at both of them now, and I stormed off in the direction of my house.

After a minute or two Soda's angry footsteps were behind me. "What was that, Andrea!" He shouted at me, and an instinctual fear rose inside me but I pushed it aside. The anger was stronger.

I turned on my heel to face him. "_That_," I pointed back to where Sandy was walking alone to her house. "Was not my fault!" I told him.

He looked at me in disbelief. "So, what? She hit herself and somehow made it so you were yelling at her? Yeah right!" He shouted angrily.

My eyes narrowed. "You don't even know what happened!" I screamed, upset that he didn't even seem to care.

"I don't know what happened? I know you attacked her, for seemingly no good reason." He explained.

I gave a sharp laugh. "Oh, ok. So you asked Sandy and she told you what happened. I can't believe that _you_ would believe that Soda! Do you honestly think that I would just attack her for no good reason?" I yelled.

"You know you've hated Sandy ever since you met her! I didn't know what you would do to her!" He reasoned. That hurt.

"Just because I hate her doesn't give me reason to hit her. I might be angry but I'm not totally unreasonable! I can't believe you would honestly think that." I said. I didn't know what to think about this. "You know, you didn't even ask me if _I_ was okay; not even to hear what _my_ side of the story was. You took her word and discarded mine, and after how many times she's lied to you!" I yelled, throwing around my arms and pointing fingers angrily.

"Then tell me what happened! You haven't even tried to tell me! You're just yelling at me!" He hollered.

"You haven't given me the chance! All you cared about was 'poor little Sandy' and how she's always the victim and how I should try to be nice! Well she's given me no reason to be nice to her!" I yelled.

"Nothing she's done to you is really that big of a deal!" He said, sounding annoyed.

"Nothing she's done is a big deal? Because cheating on you with my boyfriend and getting pregnant is nothing, right? And rubbing in my face the fact that I was almost murdered by my own father and that my mother committed suicide, on the day after her funeral isn't a big deal either, right? I don't know why you're defending her, after all she's done to you. But right now, it seems to me that you care more about her 'precious little face' than how I feel, you're own girlfriend. You know, the one who _hasn't_ ever cheated or lied to you! That's really something ain't it." I spat at him. Spinning on my heel, I started towards my house.

He grabbed me by the arm. "Andrea, you kn-" He started but I didn't care to hear his hollow apology.

"No, Soda. Why don't you choose whose side you're on here, then we'll talk." I said, not even bothering to look at him. I ripped my arm away from him and continued on. He didn't chase me.

**A/N: Awww snap! What did y'all think? What do you think Rodney did? Let me know! Please please please review and share with your friends! I'd really appreciate it.**


End file.
